Disclaimer- Yeah, here's the thing…uh, I don't own CSI or any of the lovely and wondiferous things that go along with it. Any similarities between the characters in this are completely and purely intentional. Go ahead and sue me, I've nothing better to do with my time other than violate more copyright laws…
A/N- I have been thinking about this for a bit and thought it would be hard to write, since it goes against my usual happy ways of thinking about Sara and Grissom getting busy, but it was surprisingly easy…hope you like it.
Friends is what they were. That was it, friends and nothing more. Complete and total bullshit in her opinion. They had always been friends. When she first came to Vegas, he was there. He was accepting of her. No questions asked, he just became her friend. The first in fact, well, besides Grissom, of course.
They never really hung out together as just the two of them. Sara had a major issue with this but never said anything about it, especially to him. It was always the two of them and the rest of the group. After many shifts, they would all go out together. He was always nice enough to open the door for her, pull out her chair for her, and wait for her to sit before he sat. He also, for some damn reason, always sat next to her. She knew not to think anything of it all, though. The niceties that came from him were simply a product of his upbringing.
Hanging out changed soon enough, though. The team had had a particularly difficult case that shift, and all decided they would go out after work again. The case had hit Sara particularly hard this time, and she really didn't feel like going. She caught up with the group after shift and cancelled. They all seemed concerned, but backed off when she insisted that she was all right. They all seemed to buy it, but not him.
She was just about ready to get in the shower when she heard the knock at her door. No one ever came over to visit, so she just figured that it was someone who needed redirecting. She opened the door and couldn't speak when she saw him. It was like the beginning of every dream she had about him. The usual, 'rough day at work, knight is shining armor comes to save her from her depression' and then, of course, they end up getting busy on the couch or chair, or basically any surface in her apartment that would hold them. She had been standing there, basically zoning out, when he said her name four or five times. Finally, when reality bitch-slapped her and brought her back, she stepped aside to let him in. He was there at her door, there was no way in hell she was going to turn him away. He turned and shut the door behind him and locked it. When she stood looking at him, confused, he told her that she might as well sit down and start talking because he wasn't going to leave until she did. She did sit down but she didn't start talking.
A couple of hours later he had broken through her shell, and she started to talk to him. She told of her childhood, the case, her relationship with Grissom over the last few months and how it was falling apart. The tears wouldn't stop, and she was so embarrassed he was there to see her like this; but she kept crying, and he kept holding her, telling her that it was going to be ok. She believed him. She had always believed it when Grissom would hold her and tell her the same thing, but coming from him, it seemed so much more likely. Their relationship took a huge leap forward that night, in her eyes anyway. She was falling in love with her best friend and she didn't know what to do about it.
She was in love with Grissom. She had always loved him, and she always would. They had dated for several months and it was terrific, but in the end, some people just aren't supposed to be together. No hard feelings between them. They both still loved each other and would do anything that the other asked. They wanted the absolute best for each other, and nothing less.
When they had decided to call it off, it was civil. Just because it was civil, though, didn't mean that it had been easy. She was alone in her apartment, crying her eyes out, and she knew that she needed someone there with her. She picked up the phone and called the first person that came to mind. When he answered, all she said was that it was her, and he said he would be right over. He was one of only four people that knew of her and Grissom's relationship. In what seemed like record time, he was there knocking at her door. She opened it and he immediately knew what had happened. He didn't say anything, but she could swear he was happy with her news. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, she said to herself. She cried on his shoulder that night, as she had done so many nights before. Whenever a hard case came up for either of them, they would call the other over and they would sit and soak in the other's company. She had always cared for him, but not like this. That night was the night she had realized that she loved her best friend. No, not that she loved him, she had always loved him. This was more; she was in love with him.
Over the next month or so, she had considered telling him about her feelings, but then would back out of the deal she had made with herself to do so. They were friends and nothing more. She knew that, she hated that she knew it, but she knew it nonetheless. Seeing him everyday at work, and knowing that when she was home all she had to do was pick up the phone and he would be there, no questions asked, to hold her, was killing her. She hated seeing him and knowing that there was no chance for her to be happy with him. It hurt like hell, but she hid it well from all those around her.
She really needed to talk to someone about all of this, but she didn't know who. She knew that she could always talk to Grissom, but she didn't want to talk to him about another guy. That would just be weird as hell. What about Greg? Ha, if she went to Greg to talk, Nick would know about her feelings for him before she even got a full thought about him out of her mouth. She and Catherine had been getting along better lately, but she knew that if she told Catherine that Warrick would know in a heartbeat, and he, in turn, would gladly pass the information on to Nick.
She had walked into work that night just like all of the other nights since she realized just how she felt. She walked in with only one thought in her head, Nick. There were no new cases as of yet, so the crew scattered throughout the building. Sara was in the break room. She knew that he would, eventually, be in there, so it was the obvious choice. She sat at one end of the couch so that when he did come in he could choose whether to sit next to her or not. She grabbed a magazine and started to get into an article when he and Warrick entered. He sat right next to her on the couch, their thighs touching for a split second. Her world froze for an instant and her breath stopped. This brings us now to her current dilemma.
TBC… Will Sara grow a pair? How does Nick feel? Am I going to have poptarts for breakfast tomorrow? Find out next time in "To figure it out".
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