A/N- This idea came to me while I was driving to Wisconsin with my Dad. We were listening to the radio. As we were listing to the song the one thing that kept running through my mind was that this song would make a great songfic for a story about Bean. And low and behold it did. I hope you like it. It is short, but it has a very simple plot line.

Thanks, HouseCamFan624!

Short People

Disclamir: I do not own Bean, Petra, or any of the character's in this story. I also do not own the song "Short People" by Randy Newman.

It was a normal day at the Hegemony except for one thing. It was Bean's birthday. So Peter, being the insane yet devious genius that he is, had planned him a party. When Bean heard about this the first thought that went through his head:

"This could not be good!"

And it wasn't. Petra however, found it so funny that she joined Peter in his evil party planning. Soon it was the day of the party. During the party Bean had to keep reassuring himself that there was nothing out of sorts going on. And there wasn't. Until Peter and Petra took the stage.

Peter spoke first. "We would like to thank everyone for coming. We would also like to make a dedication to the birthday boy.

Then Petra took the mic. "Yes, as Peter said we would like to dedicate this next song to Bean. Here it is, Randy Newman's "Short People"

"Noooooooo..." Bean inwardly groaned. Then the music started.

Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
Short People got no reason
To live

They got little hands
Little eyes
They walk around
Tellin' great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little feet

Well, I don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
Round here

Short People are just the same
As you and I
(A Fool Such As I)
All men are brothers
Until the day they die
(It's A Wonderful World)

Short People got nobody
Short People got nobody
Short People got nobody
To love

They got little baby legs
That stand so low
You got to pick 'em up
Just to say hello
They got little cars
That go beep, beep, beep
They got little voices
Goin' peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers
And dirty little minds
They're gonna get you every time
Well, I don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
Don't want no Short People
'Round here

As the song ended all the guest were laughing. Then after the sobered they all turned to look at Bean, to see how he reacted. Bean however was not paying attention to the guests, he was looking at the stage where Peter and Petra were still standing.

"You two are evil!"