A/N: Okay, this I thought of in the shower one night after I saw the Grudge 2 with Samanddan and Repeated Love Song. Well, this is...kinda...for pure fun. Though I would probably laugh my ass off if this really happened.
Summary: The night before Halloween, Randy decides to take a shower. However, this time someone comes for a visit and scares him to his death - literally. What happens when his very blonde friends decide to help the situation?
"Alright John. I'll see ya in a bit. Bye." Randy Orton hung up his cell phone. He sighed and leaned back into his leather couch inside his hotel suite. Shaking his head, he began to think about why he was friends with such a loser like John Cena. The guy was actually dressing up for Halloween. "Heh," Randy laughed at the image of John's last year's costume; a yellow chicken. The poor guy had lost a bet with Dave. Randy ran a hand through his hair.
"Eww..." He muttered, feeling his hair was a bit greasy. He glanced at the clock. John had a key to get in and plus, he would probably hear the water running. Standing up, Randy stretched and walked to his dresser. He grabbed a pair of flanel pajama pants and boxers and headed to the bathroom.
He sighed deeply as he mindlessly tossed the clothes onto the counter and walked to the shower. He turned the knob and smiled at the hot water pouring out. He stretched out his back and moaned in pain as it cracked.
"Ow..." He muttered and turned to the full-length mirror. Smiling one of his signiture smirks into it, he winked at himself. "Oh, yeah, babe. I'm hot. Sss..." He licked his finger and poked his butt. Nodding in approvement, he peeled off his shirt and tossed it on the ground after spinning it in the air a bit. "Oh yeah, Trish, you like these baby's." He flexed his muscles and continued to grin into the mirror.
"What's that Stace? You wanna see the rest of me? Well...I dunno. Maybe." He began to wink at himself, making a scene out of this. He spun in a circle. "Yes, maybe I will show you two a bit more. I mean, look at how much hotter my bod is than your boyfriends'." He finished his circle and grinned even more. Going to pull down his pants, the foor flew open.
"OH MY GOD!" Randy screeched, taking a step back. His shirt got caught up in his frantic feet and his arms flailed outwards in shock. "AAH!" He let out a patheticly high-pitched scream and went crashing down to the floor, his head connecting rather hard with the bath tub. That's when everything went black for him.
"Dude...Randy?" John kicked Randy's foot lightly with his own. "Raaandy..." He cleared his throat uneasily. "Uhm...Dave? Christian? Come here..." The West Newbury native called into the other room.
"Yeah, man?" Dave appeared in the doorway, Christian standing slightly behind him. Dave's eyes widened as he looked at his friend, laying dead on the bathroom floor of a hotel room. At this, Christian peered over Dave's shoulder.
"OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED RANDY!" The blonde Canadian let out a squeal as his eyes widened and his hands flew to his face.
"What!?" At this, Stacy and Trish ran up to the guys. Trish pushed herself infront of Dave and her eyes widened.
"You weren't kidding..." She muttered. Stacy stood behind her, jaw dropped.
"Holy shit..." She mumbled, shaking her head slowly. Dave looked away.
"What did you do?" Christian asked, frantically looking at John. John stared at him as if were crazy.
"I didn't do anything!" He said in defense.
"You killed Randy is what happened." Stacy glared at John. "What did he ever do to you?"
"We don't even..." John was cut off.
"The poor soul." Trish breathed.
"We don't even..." John was cut off once again.
"How could you?" Dave shook his head. John glared at them all.
"We don't even know if he's dead!" John exclaimed, throwing his arms up into the air. The others all stared at him for a bit. "He just hit his head on the bathtub, someone go check his pulse." He instructed. Dave and Christian both stared at each other.
"Uhm...Go ahead Trish. We all know how much you loved touching Randy." Dave uneasily laughed and he shoved Trish lightly foward. Trish glared at him.
"Ew..." She mumbled, "Why doesn't John touch him? After all...he did kill him."
"I didn't kill him!" John glared at his girlfriend. Trish smiled innocently.
"Sure ya didn't."
"Guys! We have a dead guy laying on the floor and you're arguing about who should touch him!" Stacy yelled out, causing everyone to stop and stare at her.
"You're right, Stace." Christian agreed, causing Stacy to beam. "Why don't you go and touch him?"
"Okay, now that was just plain rude!" Stacy yelled out, walking closer to Christian. The two began yelling at each other before Trish and John jumped into their arguemnt. Dave looked around at everyone. He scratched the back of his head slowly before putting his fingers into his mouth and whistling very loudly.
"Guys!" He screamed after catching their attention, "No matter how sad it may seem, Stacy has a point..."
"HEY!" Stacy glared at the taller man, who ignored her and continued trying to think of a logical explanation to this.
"We should call the cops and let them deal with it." He explained.
"What if they arrest John!?" Trish yelled out in fright as she clutched onto John's arm. John smiled down at her before getting a defendant look on his face.
"Yeah, what if they do arrest me?" He challenged. Dave just stared at the two. Were his friends really that stupid that one moment they were biting each other's heads off and the next they were practically defending each other?
"John, like you said, you didn't kill him, right? It was accident at that, too. They can't arrest you for that." Dave tried to be smart and positive about the situation.
"But you know cops." Stacy shook her head slowly.
"Yeah, they don't care about your side of the story. They enjoy locking us hot guys up." Christian agreed with Stacy, causing the two blonde girls in the room to stare at him for a while. "What? I can't consider myself hot?" He asked hypothetically.
"Look, let's just bury the body somewhere and no one'll ever know." Dave tried to think of a reasonable way to end this night. He tapped his jean pockets uneasily, chewing on his lip.
"Okay, sounds like a plan." Trish nodded and pushed her hair behind her ears. "Who's picking him up?"
"John." The others, minus John, all said at once. John just stared at them.
"Yeah, I'm sure you just want to see a sexy guy touch another sexy guy, right?" He smirked and looked at Randy with a disgusted look on his face.
"Of course, John." Trish rolled her eyes.
"Let's get going before he starts to smell..." Christian sighed deeply. Stacy nodded.
"Good idea." Dave smiled but gave a puzzeled look at actually saying that to Christian of all people. Shaking off the odd thought, he watched John heave Randy onto his shoulder. "Uhm, John, I think it would be safer if you went out the window..."
"What?" John asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Well...Ya never know who's looking at ya when you're walking out of a hotel..." Fave explained rationally. John gave an exasperated sigh.
"What? Do you expect me to pull a Spiderman on ya?" He raised an eyebrow.
"I was thinking Superman." Dave shrugged. John groaned but walked to the window. He peered out it down at the bright lights and moving cars.
"Can't I go down the fire escape?" He whined and pointed at the door.
"Uh...John...The fire escape's where I wanted you to go in the first place." Dave rubbed the back of his neck in nervousness. "You didn't actually think I wanted you to fly down to the ground." He chuckled, but stopped when he saw John stayed quiet.
"Ew..." Trish wrinkled her nose at her boyfriend's stupidity.
"Can we get this over with? My feet hurt." Stacy pouted and motioned to her heels.
"Awh, poor Stacy." Trish faked sympathy. Stacy glared at the shorter blonde. Dave shook his head slowly.
"Uhm...John, I'll meet ya down there." The big man waved John bye and shoved the other three out of the room before following. John groaned and shuddered at the thought of having a dead guy on his back while climbing down the outside of a building. He sighed and opened the window, here went nothing.
The group of friends all stood infront of a tiny sapling in a children's park. John let Randy fall to the ground and he looked around.
"So...now what?" Christian asked as he stared at the tiny tree that moved with the wind.
"We bury him I guess." Dave shrugged. "Who has the shovel?" He looked around at all of the blank expressions. "No one brought a shovel...Great. What geniuses I have for friends." He muttered, more to himself than anyone else.
"Hey, you could've brought a shovel with ya, ya know." Trish pointed out.
"I was making sure we got here okay." Dave snapped at her. Trish glared but sighed.
"So are we gonna let him rot here or what?" John asked as he stepped away from Randy's body.
"I guess we're gonna have to dig...with our hands." Dave blew out some air and watched the fog from his breath float in the night sky.
"Good luck with that." Stacy smiled innocently as she dragged Trish over to a bench. The two divas sat down and watched the guys stare at them blankly.
"Who wants to start first?" John asked as he looked at Christian and Dave now. Dave just shrugged and Christian stared at his shoes. "I'll go..." He mumbled and fell to his knees. Glancing up at the two other guys, the bigger of the two showing interest, he dug his hand into the cool dirt and then tossed it to the side. Dave fell to his knees as well and also created a small hole.
"So, while you guys are doing that...what do I do?" Christian asked quietly as he watched Dave and John continue to dig before glancing at Trish and Stacy chat.
"Gte down here." John groaned and grabbed Christian by his jeans onto the ground. The Canadian sighed grumpily.
"Ew...It's cold!" He whined and started to pout.
"Grow up you man-baby." John shook his head. Dave stared at him.
"Dude, that was such an oxymoron." Christian chuckled to himself.
"You're an oxymoron, Christian." John told the other guy, shaking his head slowly. Dave laughed at that before turning serious and beginning to dig faster. He seriously didn't want to explain to Vince where they were all night. Vince...
"Uh..Guys?" He looked at Christian John for a bit before continuing, "What'll Vince have to say about John killing a Superstar?"
"I didn't kill him!" John screamed out in anger. Dave put his hands up in defense.
"That's so true..." Christian stared, eyes wide. "He's soo firing your ass, Cena."
"I didn't kill him." John muttered as he studied the dirt. Dave shrugged but continued to dig. Eventually, they had a hole big enought to fit the Legend Killer.
"You guys done yet?" Trish pouted as her and Stacy walked up to the guys. "We're tired."
"And my feet hurt." Stacy added.
"And we're cold." Both girls said at the same time, each one with a huge pout on their face.
"Almost, we just have to bury him and then get the hell out of here before the cops show." Dave stood up and dusted himself off. Trish sighed and Stacy yawned widely. John and Christian also stood up.
"John, if you'd do the honors..." Dave motioned to Randy. John rolled his eyes, lifted Randy up and tossed him carelessly into the dirt hole.
"Show some emotion for crying out loud." Christian shook his head.
"I'm tired." John glared. Dave began to kick the dirt back onto Randy. When he thought he could no longer see Randy's outline, he stopped piling dirt.
"Who's ready to go to sleep?" Christian yawned extremly widely. John nodded and Dave started to walk away.
"Wait!" Stacy screamed, though no one was talking. "Shouldn't we be sympathetic? Our best friend just died and we're all worying about sleeping!" She exclaimed, feeling regretful.
"That's true.." Trish agreed.
"Someone say a few kind words for him." Stacy sniffled, trying her best to fake-fry.
"Uhm...Here lies Randy Orton-" Dave was cut off by a loud cry from Stacy, seeing as she couldn't fake-cry if her life depended on it. "He was a huge player with no feelings for women besides for sex. But deep down inside, he was a good men. Amen...?" Dave looked around at everyone slowly.
"He was also really cocky!" Trish added. Dave nodded.
"Now can we go back?" Dave asked Stacy.
"Wow, you guys actually had something good to say about Randy." The blonde giggled. Dave rolled his eyes at her but started to head back to the hotel. The others soon followed.
"Do you guys think someone'll find him?" John asked them all on the way back. He only received shrugs. To himself, he hoped not, seeing as he was afraid of going to jail.
"Look mommy!" A little kid cried happily as he ran up with a stick. The mother just stared at the stick quietly.
"That's amazing, honey." She shook her head slowly, quite confused on how a stick was so astonishing. The kid smiled wide and ran over to a pile of dirt to draw a picture.
"What'cha drawing?" A little girl asked curiously as she plopped down next to the boy.
"A picture of my family." The boy beamed as he drew a screwed-up stick figure. "And that's my mommy next to me."
"Are you the banana?" The girl asked as she pointed to something looking like a banana. The boy stared, eyes welling up with tears.
"That's my stick figure!" He cried and began to cry rather loudly. The girl stared at him for a bit before starting to cry herself. The two tiny kids sat there, bawling their eyes out before suddenly stopping at feeling the earth move beneath them. With a sudden surge of impact, the two kids found themselves on their backsides, staring up at one dirty tall guy.
"ZOMBIE!!!" They cried simultaniously as they screamed and ran away. Randy stood there, completly oblivious to the fact he was underground and he had a huge headache.
"Where the hell am I?"
A/N: Okay...Well...Please R&R. Lol. Hopefully you liked this one-shot...(shrugs) Honestly can't tell you why exactly I wanted to type it. Lol.