The characters and background of Xenosaga are property of Namco and Bandai, and are in no way my own.

Chapter XVIII

He had been gone seventeen days when chaos finally returned. It was close to two in the morning, so he came very quietly into the house, hoping to not wake up Kosmos. He walked to his room and upon opening the door, stopped right in his tracks. There lay Kosmos, curled up and sleeping on his little mat on the floor. "What in the world is she doing in here?" he thought. He shook his head and walked across the room. Very carefully, he picked her up and carried her back to her own bed. He laid her down, but as he was tucking her in, she woke up.

"chaos, you've come home."

He smiled. "Yes. But it's very late. Please, go back to sleep."

He started to leave, but Kosmos grabbed his arm. "chaos, wait!" She rose up and bringing herself to her knees, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. chaos was unsure about what he should do, but he brought his arms up and placed them around her waist, hugging her in return. She moved back slightly so that she could look him in the eye, but kept her wrists crossed behind his head. She looked deep into his eyes with a bit of sadness and earnest. chaos didn't move, for he was unsure what was about to happen.

"It's true, that I'm not Mary. But some part of Mary is still with me; perhaps she chose me over T-elos because of you. I don't know. I don't have any of her memories, but I think that I have some of her feelings. I want to share your happiness and create new memories with you. When you are upset, I want to bear your sadness."

"Kosmos," chaos said, his eyes brimming with tears.

"chaos, I love you." Several tears ran down chaos' cheeks. Kosmos cupped his face with her hands and wiped them away with her thumbs. Then, she leaned in and kissed him passionately. "Stay with me tonight," she said, looking into his eyes again.

"I shouldn't," he said.

"But I want you to."

"Are you sure?" he studied her carefully. She nodded and sat down on the bed, moving over so that there was space for him. chaos sat down next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and they both lay down, with Kosmos snuggled up next to his chest. She closed her eyes. "This is perfect," she thought. chaos kissed her forehead and closed his eyes as well. Soon, they had both fallen asleep.

The sun was already well into the sky when Kosmos awoke. As she opened her eyes, she was pleased to find chaos' arms still wrapped around her. She smiled, and closing her eyes again she breathed him in. She gently ran her hand up and down his back. This seemed to wake chaos, who ran his hand over her hair. "Is it morning already?" he asked.

"Yes, but let's stay here a while longer," she replied, snuggling closer to him.

He laughed slightly and kissed her forehead. "That would be nice, but at any moment Jr. is liable to be looking at us through your window."

"What?" She turned her head and looked at the window. There was no one there. She turned back to chaos. "Why would Jr. be looking through the window?"

chaos laughed again. "Well, he's been known to be quite the eavesdropper; I wouldn't be surprised if he had taken up spying on people by other means. Either way, someone is bound to come by the house. What then?"

Kosmos sighed. "Yes, Joseph should be here anytime. What if I just tell him I don't feel well? Perhaps he'd just leave quietly."

"You forget that I've been training him in medicine. He'd rush to your side to try and cure you in order to keep his promise to me."

Kosmos made a pouty face. "Why do you have to make things so complicated?"

"I'm sorry." He kissed her tenderly. "Come on, I'll make you breakfast." With that, he rolled over, swung his legs over the side of the bed and stretched his arms. He stood up and turned to face Kosmos. "How about pancakes?"

Kosmos propped herself up with her elbow. She had a sad, disappointed look in her eyes. "I suppose."

"Hey, now," chaos looked concerned. "Don't give me that look." He leaned down and caressed her face. "Please don't be sad."

She smiled and placed her hand over his which was still against her cheek. "I'm all right. Let's go." chaos smiled back and stood up again. He headed for the door. Kosmos got out of bed and followed him. As he went into the kitchen and started preparing the ingredients, Kosmos sat at the table, facing him. She placed her left elbow on the table and supported her head with her clenched hand as she watched him. chaos had just finished mixing the batter when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," he called.

Joseph walked down the hall. "Oh, Yeshua, you are home," he said with a smile.

"Yes, I came back last night. You are just in time for pancakes. Won't you join us?"

"Yes, thank you." Joseph walked past Kosmos and whispered in her ear "I told you he'd be back before long." He sat down opposite of her.

Kosmos reached across the table and put her hand over his, giving it a light squeeze. Leaning forward, she whispered "You were absolutely right." They smiled at each other as Kosmos returned to her normal seated position.

"So, Joseph," said chaos as he was pouring the first pancake into the pan, "what are the plans for today?"

"Well," said Joseph, turning to face chaos, "while you were gone I discovered another patch of Echinacea and some elderberry trees. I was thinking…" He stopped himself. He turned and looked at Kosmos, who had a look on her face which seemed to Joseph to say "He's just returned and you are taking him away again?"

"You were thinking?" asked chaos, turning to look at Joseph. Joseph turned back to look at chaos.

"Um, I was thinking that we could collect some ingredients tomorrow. Today looks like it will be quite nice, and since you've just returned from a long trip, maybe you should just take it easy. We could just hang out, or maybe go down to the beach or for a picnic or something. What do you think, Kosmos?" He turned to look at her again. She smiled.

"I think any of those things would be wonderful."

"Okay," said chaos, smiling as well. "After breakfast, we'll go and see what the others are up to. Maybe we can all do something relaxing today." He went back to making pancakes. Kosmos smiled at Joseph and mouthed the words "thank you". He nodded.

After breakfast, Joseph helped chaos with the dishes. When they were finished, chaos dried his hands and walked over to Kosmos. Offering her his hand, he said, "Shall we go, Kosmos?"

She placed her hand in his. "Yes, let's go together." Holding hands, they followed Joseph out the door.