I give thanks: I would like to take a moment to thank Alas Vomit, for beta'ing this. If it wasn't for her, the story would be nothing more than a bunch of bad spelling and run-on sentences. (Not to mention all the randomly placed commas.) Also, I would like to thank all my readers and reviewers. Your feedback not only makes me smile, but makes writing this worth while. Thank you so much.

Author's Note: This story does use strong language, makes references to alcohol, drug use and contains scenes of a sexual nature. I don't want you to start reading and hit chapter ten and think you have wasted a good portion of your life reading something that contains something you do not approve of or are too young to be reading. So, that's my warning. I think, if your sixteen, you should be fine. This story is probably cleaner than MTV. I don't know, I stopped watching when they stopped playing music. Anyways, rambling…

Dear Harry

Chapter One

Seventh Year Train Ride

Platform nine and three-quarters, steam billowing out of the scarlet train as it waits patiently for the Hogwarts student to fill its seats before streaming off toward another magic filled school year. I am waiting patiently for James to arrive. He is late, again; despite the fact that we left at the same time.

Remus and I are chatting lightly about Holly Smite, who is looking particularly well this year. Peter is not too far away nosing into the conversation, annoying the crap out of me, but I tolerate it for Moony and Prongs.

My attention is easily diverted when she steps onto the platform. A pleased smirk stretches across my lips and I find myself staring. Rebecca Cole, Slytherin, seventh year, hot as fucking hell. She is small and curvy, with legs like I have never seen. Her handiwork has made the school uniform barely recognizable. The usually too long skirt is cut off jaggedly mere inches below her bum. Only two buttons are done on the white button-down shirt so the light breeze picks up the edges of it giving anyone who looks a clear view of the pale skin that resides beneath it. Her tie is undone and draped casually around her neck, her robes tossed over the flap of a faded leather book bag slung over her shoulder. Then there are her boots, knee high black as night motorcycle boots with little silver clasps that shine deviously in the morning light. She takes a long slow drag on her cigarette, plump red lips gently wrapped around the cancer-stick. Tilting her head back, she exhales the smoke lazily; a little dangling moon earring brushing against the left side of her neck like her bleach blonde hair would if it hadn't been cut into short messy spikes.

I sigh, shaking the image from my head. "No, Moony I don't have a thing for Cole. She's a Slytherin."

Remus laughs, his pale eyes shinning in merriment as I glare moodily at him. "I didn't say anything."

Frowning, I mutter, "But you were going to."

With a slight nod and a chuckle, he says, "Well, you were staring at her rather intently."

"Watching me again, Moony?" I roll my eyes. "Plus, I was just admiring the new look."

"Right, the 'new' bad girl look? Sirius she is a bad girl, just because she is dressing the part now doesn't change anything." He always thinks he is so wise. I know she is a 'bad girl', that's why I am interested. I am not fucking James Potter; I do not want a little-miss-virgin-'til-my-wedding-night.

"It does too, now I can see those fine legs without working," I say, flashing him a wicked smirk. His light brownish-blond hair ruffles as he shakes his head, laughing. Peter stands beside us over-seeing the conversation, as if he really serves a purpose.

"You are so 'thinging' Cole, Mr. Black!" a bright cheery voice exclaims behind me. I turn, grinning, to find Lily Evans stunning smile and vivid green eyes, looking up at me. Wrapping her in a giant hug, I swing her around. "Sirius! Put me down. You can't treat the Head Girl like this," she giggles.

I almost drop her. Head Girl? But James is Head Boy! I must have said it aloud, because her merry laughter ceases. Placing her on the ground, I stare at her. Her jaw is practically touching the ground and her eyes are flashing with rage. "Lily?" I ask.

"Damn Potter! He screws up everything!" she screams, crossing her arms, and stomping her foot. As she slips into rant-mode, I allow my attention to fade elsewhere.

Cole.

She is moving toward us, her cigarette held loosely between her fingers. At first, I am excited; she is so, obviously, interested in me. Then her eyes narrow mischievously at Lily. Damn it! She is wandering over her to stir up some shit with Lily, not beg me for a snogging session. I am not sure what happened between those two, but whatever it was, it was bad. They cannot even be in the same room with each other for five minutes without trying to kill one another. I am serious, last year I had to pull Lily off Cole's neck before she strangled her.

"Head Girl huh? Wow, I just lost the little respect I had for old Albus." Her voice is as sultry as they come; I swear she was a jazz singer in a past life. She is as cocky as Satan, too.

Lily whips around to face her, very obviously counting to ten in her mind to keep from attacking Cole.

Taking another long drag from her cigarette, Cole waits for Lily to speak. When she doesn't Cole smirks. Those fine red lips mold into a perfect 'oh' as she blows smoke into Lily's waiting face. I am torn between over-reacting and not reacting at all. Nobody does something like that to Lily, but I do not want to be accused of being 'over-protective,' again. Two months of a pissed off Lily last year was more than I could take. And yes, if I defend her I can shove all thoughts of ever getting inside Cole's pants out of my mind.

As I mentally debate with myself, Lily responds with the oh-so-clever, "Fuck off, Cole."

With a cocky little grin, Cole answers, "You know, Evans, that's not a bad idea. It has been a while since I had a good fuck." Tilting her head up at me, she runs her tongue across her teeth. "Black, you're supposed to be decent lay. How 'bout it?" Her black eyes sparkle, a little, as she teases me.

Usually, I would have jumped at that kind of offer, but with Lily, here and the minor setback that she is a Slytherin, I hesitate. As I am weighing my options, she tosses head back and laughs, a fake little laugh. Blowing smoke in Lily's face, again she takes a step back, glancing at something over my shoulder. "Never mind, Luke just appeared, and I would prefer to screw him over you any day."

Brushing passed me, she whispers, "Maybe I could arrange that…" as she leaves. The image that statement brings to mind makes me want to hurl.

"I can't believe you actually thought about it! What the hell is wrong with you? She probably has every disease imaginable. And she is a Slytherin," Lily whispers harshly to me, though Cole is out of earshot. I shrug. Honestly, a good fuck is a good fuck. And, I have no doubts, that Cole is a good fuck.

Remus smirks at Lily, after giving me an eye roll. "I thought we shouldn't judge others based on their house?" You gotta love Moony.

Lily and Moony get along rather well. They are both prefects, they both read too much, she doesn't know he is a sex-fiend; it works. Honestly, now that I think about it, Lily is good friends everyone except James. She and I have always been close because of Lucy, she helps tutor Peter, and she and Remus work together. Funny, she likes every one of the Marauders but the one who is head over heels in lust for her, but I suppose that is why.

"Y-you shouldn't." She is totally cute when she stutters. Honestly, if I didn't think of her as a sister, and James wasn't drooling over her I would think about screwing her.

Scratch that; losing my friendship with her, isn't worth it. Probably. Plus, she wouldn't anyway, little prude.

James, unwittingly, saves her from further teasing as he calls out, "Padfoot! Moony! Wormtail!" making his way out to the platform.

Lily's green eyes go wide in fear that he might see her and she ducks down behind me. "See you later," she mutters, attempting to sneak away.

She fails horribly. "Evans! Did you hear the smashing news? I'm Head Boy!" James exclaims as he spots her. Standing quickly, she pretends escape was the furthest thing from her mind and she smiles at him. "You know what that means?" James grins, draping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. "We will be LIVING together! You and I–" he explains in a singsong voice, but it is rudely interrupted when Lily's elbow collides with his side. He winces and clutches his side before diving behind me for protection.

"We shall be doing no such thing! I am going to speak with Dumbledore as soon as we arrive, he must have made a mistake." Lily huffs loudly, jabbing her finger in his direction before turning on her heel and storming off toward the train.

After her departure, I slap him on the back. "Way to go, Prongs! A whole minute!" Without thought, I dash quickly toward the train. Damn her, now he is going to be all pout-y.

O

The countryside rolls by as the train speeds away toward its destination, and I stare blankly out the window in boredom. Remus and Peter are playing a game of wizard's chess; though, I don't really understand the point. Remus will win, obviously. Why go through the steps if you know the end result?

I can't make out the words Lily and James are screaming at each other in the Head's compartment from our location. Remus refused to kick the second years out of their compartment, so I could eavesdrop because of his 'morals'.

Something violently smashes against a wall and Lily rages as she makes her way down the hall. "Arrogant, pompous, ASS!"

James throws open the door and flops into the seat beside me. He sighs, heavily before dropping his head unto my shoulder, in defeat.

"Sorry dude, I don't sway that way." I beam at him, patting his head; he doesn't take notice.

Groaning, he lifts his head. His hazel eyes are shining in confusion and sadness. "I tried to be nice!"

"I'm sure you did, but we both know that you always screw up when you're around Lily." I say, shrugging, patting his head and biting back a smirk at the bruise starting to form around his left eye.

Peter, noticing a gap in the conversation, decides to chip in. "Yeah, remember that time you tied your own shoes together?" I smile fondly at Peter. This is what Peter is for, to remind us of the stupid things James has done. That and he is the loudest cheerer in the entire crowd during Quidditch matches. The fat bastard.

Okay that was mean, I apologize, but seriously, he annoys the crap out of me. I think James only puts up with him because he likes to be worshipped. And James... well James is a good guy; Pete wouldn't have any friends if it weren't for James, Remus and me.

James frowns. "I did that on purpose."

Patting his back, I chuckle, "Sure you did mate."

Abruptly, he stands and leaves the compartment, muttering, "You guys suck," as he slams the door. He is always so touchy after a spat with Lily.

Sighing heavily, I slip back into boredom before I decide to go see if Cole is still up for that fuck.

O

Okay, that was so wrong. I was in the middle of a very heated make out session and then someone hit me with a stunner. What the hell?

I couldn't find Rebecca, so I settled for Holly. After I asked her, I remembered why I had never played with her before; she has the most annoying voice I have ever heard. My main focus, after getting her to myself, was to get that mouth occupied with something other than chatting. Namely, me.

Anyway, we are in one of the smaller compartments at the back of the train messing around when I am knocked to the ground by a curse. It is so unfair. I put up that annoying, awful voice for almost ten minutes and I don't even get to play with the girls.

I glare up at the ceiling, feeling entirely un-sexy. The only good thing about this situation is whoever it was shut Holly up, too.

The longer I am stuck here, the more frightened I become. This wasn't some prank pulled by the Slytherins. I can hear terrified screams of the younger students outside the door and I am not able to help them. From the sounds of things outside, Voldemort has decided to come back from his two-month vacation, striking where it will hurt the wizarding community most: the children.

The door slides open and if my body could tense it would have. I expect my life to flash before my eyes and everything to go dark. It doesn't; instead, quite laughter sounds in my ears, before the smirking face of Rebecca Cole comes into view.

"Holly Smite, fucking hell, how did you manage to stand the nails-on-blackboard voice? Silence her or something?" Thankfully, my petrified state prevents my cheeks from flushing red.

When I don't answer, she smiles rather happily. "Oh, I could have fun with this." Oh, fuck…

She drops down to her knees and leans over my head. All I can see are her two perfectly perfect breasts and I desperately want to bury my face in-between them. Then, the feel of her lips on mine distracts me. They are soft, plump, and perfectly 'mm.' Her fingers edge down my cheeks and push my jaw down, opening my mouth as she sucks on my bottom lip. Her tongue probes inside my mouth, tasting me. I scream inside my head at my inability to react. After a moment, she pulls back and smirks at me. "Not too bad, once you get past the taste of Smite."

A horrifying scream echoes through the tiny room and her smile vanishes. I am not sure what to label her expression as remorseful, frightened, or maybe disappointed? Standing quickly, she peeks out the door and mutters, "Great fucking time to play games, Cole." Turning back to me, she points her wand at me, whispers the counter curse and holds out her hand.

Confused, I stare at the chipped black fingernail polish. "Effing men," she huffs before dragging me to my feet. I am surprised she can do that. She is not very big, and I am well, six foot two and rather fit, if I do say so myself.

I continue to stare at her until her black eyes narrow. After which, I look away before mentally calling myself chicken, and fixing my eyes back on hers.

"Black, you are a fucking idiot, but we are currently under attack by about fifty Death Eaters. So, I am going to overlook that for a while, because despite your idiocy you actually have some skill with a wand." Standing there impatiently, she waits for some kind of response. Her jaw is cocked to the side and she does something odd with her tongue. This is her pissed face. As I stare at her, finally getting the taste of her on my lips, I can only think about kissing her, being near that mouth, again. "Oh, never mind, you useless piece of scum," she growls, pointing her wand at my chest.

The thought of whatever she is going to hex me with, zaps my mouth into action. "Wait, all right. What do you want me to do?" I have my hands raised up in defense. I am such a wimp.

She frowns and bites her lip. "Just watch my back." At my grin, she gives me a disgusted look. "I meant cover me, not stare at my ass." I just shrug. It is kind of crazy she can read my mind like that.

O

This is sort of weird. I have never been the 'cover' guy before. Usually, I dive in headfirst and pray Prongs or Moony are looking out for me.

Cole is effing good; she takes out these guys before they even realize we are here. I am better of course, but still she is pretty insane.

We keep passing up little kiddies, telling them to hide, locking the compartment doors shut as we make our way to the front of the train. I focus on not focusing on their lost, little faces and tear filled eyes as I lock them up inside safe areas. They are all so frightened, but Cole seems determined to get to the front on the train. I have no idea why, but I do not argue with her. I just trust her on this. After all, she is a Slytherin. She's more likely to know what is going on in the Death Eaters heads than I am. The little ones will be safe. They will have to be; I cannot stop and protect them now.

O

The Death Eaters are gone, but I'm not sure what sent them scurrying away. It was just like a huge whirlwind of curses as we neared the very front of the train, everyone was shouting and running and the whole place was lit up like a firework. I didn't even register what I was doing; I was just shooting out rapid-fire curses and hexes and shoving little ones into compartments to get them out of the way. Then without any kind of warning, it was just poof and they were gone.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath before assessing the damage.

James is freaking as he cradles Lily's head in his lap, looking desperately from her pale face to me. I don't know what to do, so I just gaze back. Peter cannot be found and I haven't seen Lucy, at all. I hope that she missed the train. Remus is holding my shirt to Rebecca's head as her blood soaks through it. My hands shake as I nervously pace and glance around. There are several students laying injured about the hallway, but most of them are locked away in the compartments.

Where are the professors? The Aurors?

Rebecca slurs as she tries to pull away from Remus. He carefully places a hand on her shoulder applying just enough pressure to keep her down. "Shush, hey, you need to stay down," he tells her calmly and slowly.

Shaking her head frantically, she jerks away from him. Amazingly, she manages to get to her feet. Blood is pouring from the gash on the side of her head and she wobbles, trying to find her balance. Remus stands and moves toward her, speaking slowly, gently grasping her elbows to steady her. "Hey, come on, relax, you need to sit down." She falls back a step drunkenly as he touches her and she starts yelling. Her language is like something I have never heard, which is truly saying something. I did live with my mother for fifteen years.

"Get off me, you cock-sucking prick! You fucking sick bastard! Don't touch me!" Tears stream down her cheeks and she wraps her arms protectively around herself, when she can't find her wand. "Don't you fucking come near me. I swear I will fucking kill you!" Remus is staring at her as if she is a lunatic. His eyes focused solely on her, trying to figure out a way to make her calm down.

She stumbles sideways toward me and I grab her arm to keep her from colliding with the ground. Her eyes snap into focus on me, as if she is seeing me but no really seeing me. It is not a good thing. Twisting her arm in my grasp, she grabs a hold of my arm, and digs her nails into my skin. She tugs me close to her and lifts her chin defiantly, glaring coldly at me. We are so close we are almost touching. She starts to speak, in a low, deadly tone, "You want another piece of me, you bastard." Her chin quivers and her chest is heaves with every breath. "I will kill myself before I let you fucking touch me, again."

Honestly, I am a little scared as I look down at her trying to find something other than the hate and fear that is radiating off her. James screams for me to just let her go, but when I attempt to my hand won't release her.

Her skin starts to glow with rage, but it is more than just that, it is as if everything inside of her is building for some kind of explosion. It scares me shitless. Her words echo inside my head, 'I will fucking kill myself before I let you touch me, again.' That is what she is going to do. She is going to kill herself and she is taking me with her.

Suddenly, she goes limp. Her eyes flutter closed and her breathing evens out. She falls away from me, falling almost gracefully to the floor. I am stuck staring at her until I hear someone clear his or her throat behind me.

Glancing back, I find Albus Dumbledore. His eyes have lost their twinkle and he does not appear to be the loving Headmaster of Hogwarts, for a moment. He stares into my soul with cold eyes and speaks, "Mr. Black, if you would be so kind as to take Ms. Cole to Poppy please." His voice is friendlier than I expected it to be. I nod and take a Portkey from his outstretched hand.

O

I pull the crisp, white blanket Madam Pomfrey gave me when I arrived at the Hospital Wing, shirtless, tighter around my shoulders before attempting to get comfortable in the hard chair beside Cole's bed. She is sleeping; at least, that is what Poppy said. I didn't know you could sleep through so much commotion. There have been dozens of crying and screaming kids in here over the past three hours. Maybe it has to do with the fact that Dumbledore put her to sleep.

I glance at her pale face, again as Poppy passes by. "Mr. Black, staring at her will do you no good. Stop fretting, the more she sleeps the better." She continues on her way muttering under her breath. "Blood-loss on top of a damned rage, what the bloody hell was Albus thinking?"

Forcing my thoughts elsewhere, I listen in on the bits and pieces I can catch of Lily and James conversation. Evidently, she tolerates him quite well now that he has 'saved' her life and thinks that it was very responsible of him to take notes on the things Dumbledore will have them attending to this year as Head Boy and Girl. I smile contentedly to myself. I guess everyone's dreams can come true if you just keep trying.

O

thank you for reading