ChapterXII--In which we learn the disadvantages to eavesdropping

A/N: Okay. Please don't kill me. I know what you're thinking. You're right. I'm evil. I'm bad. I KNOW!!! See my final A-N for more stuff.

DEDICATION: To kmf-chan, who asked and shall receive

Relena rolled her shoulders as she walked down the hall to her bedroom. She sighed and cracked her neck, well pleased with results of the "family discussion."

It was at that time that she was intercepted.

A dark haired security guard caught her arm, breathing heavily with fatigue, "Relena!"

"Hilde?"

The girl nodded and wiped perspiration from her brow, "Relena, I have to talk to you about Heero."

Relena nodded in confusion and opened the door for her friend to enter, "What's wrong?"

Hilde only spoke after they had both settled on Relena's bed, "Heero and Duo made a bet about us. I think it's important you know about it."

Relena's intrigued expression signaled Hilde to continue.

Hilde shifted her weight once before drawing a deep breath to begin, "Relena, Duo forced Heero into a bet to see which one of us would go out with them first. So, all of this time, it's been a big scama ploya trick to hurt you and me."

Relena frowned at this and then a remarkable thing happened. It was something that had Hilde had never seen the peace-loving foreign minister to do.

She broke into peals of unrestrained laughter.

"Ha! This is going to be so much fun!"

Hilde blinked. Twice. "You're not mad at Heero?"

Relena frowned in confusion, "Of course not. What good would that do?"

Hilde bit her lip as she tried to come to terms with what had just been said. "Relena, Duo and Heero are using you and me to satisfy their pathetic male egos."

The blonde woman nodded and made a motion for the two of them to be seated at the edge of her squeaky bed. Hilde complied, somewhat shocked, waiting patiently as Relena sat and smoothed her skirt over her lap, "Hilde, I am perfectly aware of the emotions you are feeling right now, but I also believe anger is perhaps the worst method of getting revenge."

Hilde's eyebrows shot up, "Revenge?!"

Her companion shrugged, "Well, what else can we do? Refuse to speak with them? No. You and I both know Heero and Duo. What I suggest is that we lead them on."

"Lead them on?!" Hilde parroted in surprise.

"Of course. It is a very simple process. We let them think they are making progress and egg them on until they are certain we are head over heels for them and then--" Relena paused for dramatic effect "--we dump them!!!"

"Relena--"

"In my personal opinion, I believe that Duo's love for you is real. We can call it a test of his love."

Hilde ran a hand through her blue-black hair, "But what about Heero? Does he love you?"

"If he doesn't, he at least feel lust for me.and he has this sort of protective thing going on too."

Hilde gave Relena an irrepressible grin. "Okay, Relena. You won't be nervous aboutyou knowkissing Heero and stuff, will you?"

"I've already kissed Heero." Relena pointed out absently.

"You have?!" Hilde asked excitedly, shocked that Relena, the supposed "Ice Princess" and the "Emotionless as a Brick Wall Soldier" could even be capable of going so far.

Relena blushed, " Wellyeah. A couple of times.and some other stuff"

Hilde blushed too, "You didn't"

Relena turned even redder, "NO! Of course not! We never went that far!"

Hilde frowned, "Well, knowing the type of person Heero is, any reaction on his side has to mean he feels deeply for you, Rel."

She picked at her nails; "He'd have cared deeply for anyone that "saved the Earth and colonies" like he always goes on about how I did. I swearwho knows what goes through that brain of his."

"Um, Relena, " Hilde said suddenly, "Aren't you nervous that Heero might be listening to us as we speak?"

"Listening in on us? Oh no, Hilde, I've already found all the bugs in this room and put them in the Boris and Anastasia's room. They'll probably bore Heero to death!"

At that very moment, two very interesting things were happening. Boris and Anastasia were both getting ready for bed, and Heero was in his base camp, fiddling with his radio as he tried to pick up the signal of his bugs in Relena's room for"safety" purposes.

Anastasia could tell Boris was angry, and she knew of only one way to make him feel better. So, with a very catlike grin, the matriarch of the Noventa family went to the television set in front of her large bed and popped an entertainment disk into the disk player. The screen flickered on, and soft music filtered into the room, a familiar song that made Boris perk up considerably.

Anastasia turned to him, "Do you remember this movie, Boris-honey?"

The screen showed to figures, a man and a woman, slowly moving towards a bed as the music played sensuously.

A glimmer of lust flickered in her husband's eyes.

Heero pressed the headphones to his ears as the fuzz cleared and he finally got clear reception. Unfortunately, his hunt for clear hearing had forced him to climb on of the trees near the camp, but he thought the risk was justified if he got a chance to listen to Relena.

The braided boy's eyes widened, "Okay, if you want me to prove it to you, I will. One hundred lunar credits says I can get Hilde before you can get Relena."

"The vice foreign minister is not interested in-"

"Well unbraid my hair and call me a nun, you're scared of her!" Duo crowed triumphantly, "Just because she doesn't know it yet doesn't mean she doesn't like you!"

Heero cradled his head in his hands.

"She's not sure what love is. She probably thinks about you as a friend. You've got to make the first move, pal, get her interested in you in a different way-"

Heero mumbled something.

"Chicken! You're a chicken!" Duo caterwauled, "You must have used up all your guts during the war!"

Duo leaped up and began flapping his arms around, "Boc! Boc! Boc!"

"Lower your voice! Are you trying to get us caught, baka?"

"Baka? What does that mean?"

"Never mind that, just stop it already!" Heero snapped. Duo grinned devilishly at the fact he was getting on his companion's nerves.

"I won't stop until you agree to the bet." Duo stopped and cupped his hands around his mouth, "COCKLE-DOODLE-DOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Heero muttered something else.

Duo leaned forward, "What did you say?"

Heero stood up and looked Duo straight in the eye, "I said, 'Fine, I'll do it.'"

The pilot of Deathscythe Hell immediately stopped and shoved his hands into his pockets, "That wasn't too hard, was it?"

And, for the second time that day, Heero lunged at Duo.

Heero blinked at the memory. He had to do some reconnaissance and win Relena before Duo got Hilde. He frowned as he heard irregular breathing near one of his microphones. Someone let out a low, breathy moan.

His eyes widened. Was she sick? Had she been wounded?

"Ooooh." breathed a throaty feminine voice.

Now here was where Heero's logic hit a snag. Though his reception was still fuzzy, that was a female voice, most likely Relena.

Words could not describe the jealous that boiled in Heero's heart and pumped through his veins. Relena, HIS Relena was.another man?

No, this simply would not do. Not at all.

"Ride me harder!!!"

Heero fell out of the tree.

Hilde had left, and Relena leaned over and turned down the sheets to her bed. Her eyes traveled to the teddy bear perched by her pillow and she wondered vaguely about the possibility of Heero not loving her.

"No, he can't not love me," Relena said angrily, "If he doesn't love me, then how the heck can I pull of my cunning and spectacular plan?"

There was silence in the room for several minutes until Relena turned back and grabbed the bear from her bed and gripped it in her hands. Confused she stared into its beady eyes, "What the heck is up with you anyway? Have you finally discovered you have hormones? Could it be that you really have gone over the deep end?"

The bear had no response.

But then, even if the bear could have responded, there wasn't any time because the heated discussion between Relena and her plush teddy bear was interrupted by a person dressed in black diving through her window.

Needless to say, the foreign minister was greatly confused.

Said puzzlement was immediately dissolved when she realized who her would-be assailant was.

"Ha. It's Heero. I should have known it was you. What is it this time? Mice under the floorboards? A squeaky board needs mending?"

Heero stood up, shook the glass off of his jacket and glared at her, "You can't fool me that easily, Relena. Who is he, and where did you hide him?"

Relena's eyebrows twitched at this, "What are you talking about? Are you and Duo playing hide-and-seek again?"

Heero shook his hide furiously, "I heard you, Relena! I can't believe that you would consent to do it before you were married. Did he drug you?"

"Heero, what are you talking about?"

"The man! I heard you!"

A slight smile tugged on Relena's lips, "Oh, you were listening in on me with the traces that I relocated to Mr. and Mrs. Noventa's room?"

"Yes! I meanno." Heero frowned, "You knew about the bugs?"

She lifted a slim eyebrow at this, "Please, Heero. How the heck could I survive in the political arena this long if I didn't know who was listening in on me?"

"That's not fair! I worked hard to conceal those!"

Relena sighed and went to a drawer beside her bed, "Please, Heero, let's just drop it. Now why don't you stop bleeding on my floor and come here so I can tend to your wounds?"

"Wounds?" he repeated absently, touching his forehead, which came back bloody, "How did I get these?"

"You dove through a window, Heero. What did you think would happen?"

Obviously not deeming that worthy of a reply, Heero moved forward and sat down in front of Relena, who had placed the white first aid kit on the night stand and was getting out the antiseptic and package of Band-Aids.

Heero narrowed his eyes at the antiseptic. Though he had admitted it to no one, there was nothing in the world Heero hated more than the sting of antiseptic. Relena eyed him nervously, noticing his death glare but failing to find the target. Following his line of sight, she found his gaze focused on the innocent-looking bottle in her hand.

"I take it Heero doesn't like antiseptic, does he?"

"He also doesn't like to be talked to in third person."

"Oh well, I guess I'll just have to fix that."

"How?"

"You'll see!" she said cheerfully before picking up a dry washcloth and disappearing into the blue-tiled bathroom. She reappeared moments later, armed and ready. Heero looked at her skittishly, as if he was about to bolt at any moment, "Don't worry, Heero! I know what I'm doing!"

"That's what I'm afraid of," Heero growled sullenly.

"Shush!" she commanded, patting the cut on Heero's forehead with the washcloth until she had wiped the blood away. She then leaned over and pecked Heero on the lips. His eyes widened, and she took advantage of his shock to spray on the antiseptic and slap on a Band-Aid.

Heero blinked away his surprise and scowled, "That wasn't fair!"

"It worked though, didn't it?" she asked coyly.

Heero snorted, but didn't move away when she leaned over to repeat the process again. And again. And again.

Finally, Relena ran out of wounds to clean and she smiled, "Well, there you are, Heero, you're completely fixed up."

He quirked his eyebrows and considered that, "No, I don't think so. You missed one."

She bit her lip to repress a grin, "I did?"

He nodded slightly and his tone remained dead serious, "I bit my cheek."

"Really?" she asked, feigning innocence along with him.

"Yes."

"Oh well," she said, sighing, "I guess I'll have to do something about it then."

And with that, she settled into his lap and kissed him deeply, sliding her tongue into his mouth. Heero quickly responded, sliding his tongue against hers and then pushing it back.

Relena broke the kiss to glare at him, "Why'd you do that?"

"It hurts to be touched." His voice was a monotone, but Relena clearly saw the playfulness in his voice.

"Well, I'm afraid I simply must do something about it, Heero. We can't have you dying from a cheek wound."

His mouth moved into a smirk as her lips brushed his again, "Well, if you really think it's for the best"he murmured.

"I'm afraid I simply must insist"

A-N: I am afraid I have to take a one-month break from all of my fics until July 20th. I have to leave my home to visit family (none of which have a computer). Thank you everyone for sticking with me even though I gave this fic a HEFTY break. Love yah all!

Oh, and an ML I'm on just had a discussion on the reviewing policy of authors, so I thought I should give mine.

One, what author does not like reviews? I like them a lot, especially insightful ones that offer criticisms, or funny ones that brighten my day. However, I will not demand a certain number of reviews to decide on when I update a story. No matter how many reviews a fic gets, I write because I enjoy writing the story. End of story. If you feel like it, please do review. If not, there's no stress or pressure. Just thought I should clear that up.