Chapter 6: The Stuff of Legends

He stares at her in shock, unable to string two words together let alone a complete sentence. She could've asked anything. Anything at all. And she asks that. There are a thousand different answers, all of them completely right and completely wrong at the same time. He knows that he's keeping her waiting, but how can he answer a question like that?

"Do you know who Nimue was, Rose?" he asks finally, answering her in the only way he knows how.

She shrugs. "The blokes that kidnapped me called Nimue the wizard's consort."

A laugh escapes him. How little does she know. "Nimue is so much more than that. To some, she's the Lady in the Lake who gave Excalibur to King Arthur. To others, she's the cause for Merlin's downfall, who lures him into a trap to keep him away from Camelot. And to even more she's the one woman that Merlin cared for, and returned to at the end of his days. But, you see, they're all right and wrong at the same time."

She doesn't understand. "Then who is Nimue, Doctor?"

He shifts so that he's facing her, letting his hands fall away from the controls. "She's you."

"What?"

"Merlin might be a powerful wizard-" Here he pauses, smirking at the implication. He still doesn't think he'd look good in a beard. "-but Nimue is far more than that. She's a hero. Saved him ten times over and is still saving him just by being alive."

"An' how does that answer my question?" she asks, though he can tell that she's almost embarrassed by his praise. She shouldn't be.

"It doesn't," he admits, staring at the console while he searches for the appropriate words to convey his thoughts. "Though I thought I'd point out that each time I've been snogged by someone, it's at their initiative. Not mine."

"And you weren't a willing participant," she says dryly and he can tell she disbelieves him. As well she should, at least in part. He knew it wasn't Rose each time he was kissed. But he'd be lying if he said that there weren't points where he reacted, almost enjoyed it. Only thing curbing that reaction was the knowledge that it wasn't her. That just isn't something that he wishes to explain.

He looks at her silently for a long moment, registering the faint blush that comes to her face. "Some things are best left alone," he tells her. No matter how he answers, it'll only hurt her.

"Oh," Rose says softly and pulls her hand away from his arm. "I see. Should've realised it sooner, actually. Let's have a laugh at the stupid ape."

"Rose," he begins, but she brushes him off, not giving him the chance to continue before she leaves the console room. In the wake of her departure, he sighs as the TARDIS' hum seems to turn accusing. That was unfair of him, really, but there is no answer to her question that doesn't end in pain. Either now, or at some point in the future.

Rubbing the back of his head absently, he begins to initiate the dematerialisation sequence. Once they are safely in the Vortex, he can consider what to do about Rose. Talk to her, certainly. But he can't make her any promises.

He sighs as he reaches for the final switch that will take them home. Why did he let things get so pear-shaped? Why didn't he just answer her? His fingers brush against paper – paper that he's certain wasn't there moments before – and he arrests his earlier motion to trigger the dematerialisation.

The paper is strangely archaic, though he knows that he has a stash of paper that looks something like this in the library somewhere. It's folded over twice, allowing it to rest over the dematerialisation switch without falling off. When he lifts the paper off the console, he realises that his name is scrawled in his own handwriting on the front.

"Oh," he says. That'd definitely explain how the TARDIS was fixed by the time they returned to her. He fixed it – well, the future him. Though why would he leave himself a letter? Can't be to change the future – that's already been written for his future self.

Well, only one way to find out. He unfolds the paper carefully and begins to read. There are only two sentences written in his hand, but he knows that they're important. Must be, if he's risking violating the laws of time to pass them on.

Don't squander what you've got. You won't know what it means to you until it's gone.

It doesn't take a genius – which he is, of course – to understand what the note's referencing. Rose.

He's alienated her unintentionally by not answering her question. By avoiding it. By, well, being himself. True, this incarnation does tend to do more domestic than his previous one, but that doesn't mean that he enjoys discussing it, talking about it, analysing his feelings, etc. Freud would have a field day with him, he knows, though it'd probably eventually trace back to his mother. Or, worse yet, Jackie.

There's really only one thing that he can do and he knows the best place in the universe for an apology. Cristayl Minor. Crystal caves, gorgeous rock formations and interesting wildlife. Better still, Cristayl is uninhabited. Shouldn't have to worry about running for their lives or worrying about anything other than admiring the view.

Setting the coordinates, he sends the TARDIS rocketing into the Vortex. Now all that's left is to deal with Rose. Wherever she might be.

---

Usually a visit to the butterfly room soothes her. Just watching the animals flutter about their lives in perfect negligence of the cruelties of the world outside the TARDIS can be a balm. Not this time.

No, this time, her massive stupidity prevents her from feeling any sort of calm. No, she just had to ask that question. Of all questions to ask, it had to be that. And now?

Oh, she knows exactly what's going to happen now. The Doctor's going to put in the coordinates for Earth, 2006 and that'll be it. No more Rose Tyler, death-defying adventures in time a specialty. No, it'll be back to Rose Tyler, shop girl extraordinaire.

"Stupid," she curses herself, bracing her forehead against her hands. What the hell had she been thinking?

It was practically a declaration of 'yes, Doctor, I fancy you and really wish you'd snog me and not duplicate mes'. God, she's such an idiot. He doesn't do that. Can't do that. He doesn't do domestic. Still doesn't, though he might come round to mum's for tea. Doesn't count, that. It's not that sort of relationship.

And she practically forced him into considering that she thinks of it like that. "Bloody hell," she says and collapses on her back, staring at the faux sky. She doesn't even register the myriad colours of the butterflies as they fly through the air above her. Nor does she really care.

She's ruined it all.

She might've been staring at the sky for minutes or hours, but one moment she's alone and the next she's got company. He says nothing as he stands over her and she closes her eyes against the accusation that she knows must be in his eyes. "Guess I should pack," she says softly, though she doesn't move.

"What?" he asks, and she can hear genuine surprise in his voice. "Why'd you want to do that? Unless…oh. You want to go?" She's never heard that particular tone in his voice before.

She opens her eyes and looks at him, seeing his regret reflected in his eyes. "I-no. No, I don't want to go, but I should. I jus'… I'm sorry, yeah? It was a stupid question an' I'm jus' a stupid ape for even comin' up with…"

"No," he corrects, kneeling beside her. "You might be an ape, but never stupid. Naïve, certainly. But not stupid."

"Liar," she accuses, though there's no force behind her word.

"Not about this," he says firmly. "Rose, I..."

She holds up her hand. "Don't. I know you can't answer my question. So don't even try. 'S just…"

"It hurts," he replies, completing her sentence for her.

She just nods helplessly. Beneath her, she can feel the TARDIS shudder as they land. She guesses that this is it. The final chapter of the Doctor and Rose, travelling companions.

Surprisingly – or, perhaps, not so surprisingly – he smiles gently at her as he holds out his hand. "Rose, there's something I'd like you to see. And then, only if you want to, I'll take you home."

"You do want me to leave," she says, feeling her heart shatter into tiny pieces. She was right. Oh, god, she was right.

"No! No, I don't want you to go," he insistes, shaking his head. "It's up to you when you want to leave, Rose. I can't make that decision for you."

But he has. Several times. To 'protect her' when all she wants is to stay by his side. So, how can he say that? Unless he's referring to those instances where their lives aren't in danger, when she eventually decides – never – to leave. Knowing him, he probably is. When there's danger, deadly danger, he can't make her that same promise.

She'll just have to live with that.

"Okay," she says when she finds her voice, letting him pull her to her feet. "What do you want me to see?"

He shakes his head, smiling. "That'd ruin the surprise."

Feeling somewhat bemused, she lets him lead her back to the console room and across to the double doors. As he opens them, he gestures for her to precede him.

As soon as she steps outside, she gasps in astonishment. It's gorgeous. The world seems desolate, but there's beauty in this desolation. The rock formations catch and reflect the sunlight in rainbow colours. Off to the side, she can see what looks to be a cave carved out of something that appears to be crystal.

"Wow," she says, unable to come up with a better response as she looks around. Something cries out overhead and, as she looks up, she sees several large creatures flying above them. "What are those?"

"Dragons," he replies, grinning at her expression. "Well, they don't call them dragons. Don't really have a name, actually. Not now, at least. Bit before anyone finds this particular planet, actually. Completely uninhabited but for the dragons, really."

She smiles at him as she drinks in the view. She itches to explore, to look in the cave, to find out where the dragons live. "I love it," she breathes.

"Thought you'd like it," he says, giving her an affectionate glance. "Thought it only fitting, you know."

"Fitting?" she asks as she watches the dragons twirl through the air above them.

"Oh, I'd say seeing crystal caves and dragons is the best ending for a trip into Arthurian legend," he replies and she has to laugh.

That reminds her. "Doctor," she begins, waiting until he's looking at her before she continues. "You told me about Nimue, but you never said how the legends end. How long does she stay with Merlin?"

"How long are you gonna stay with me?" he counters.

She smiles, catching his meaning as she squeezes his hand. "Forever," she boldly declares.

They share another glance and, before she can say anything else, his lips are pressing against her own in a brief but affectionate kiss. When he pulls away, he's still smiling. "That answer your question?" he asks.

She nods. She once told Mickey that the Doctor wasn't her boyfriend, he was better than that and that's still true. He might not be able to give her forever, and that's okay. She can't promise forever, either, much as she wishes she could. Life doesn't work like that. But she'll take what she can get.

Now can last forever. Memories can last forever.

And, as she stares out at the sun as it begins to set, she adds another item to her list of things that can last. The Doctor and Rose. Merlin and Nimue. Legends, too, last forever.

THE END