Hey guys,
I know, I'll finally giving you guys an update. I'm almost ashamed, it's been so long.
A lot of things got in the way of me updating this story, school was kind of abusive, I had to move, and I've been struggling with a few personal problems. Hopefully, you guys won't take it to hard on me.
As always I what to give a big and special thank you to everyone who reviewed, I wouldn't be updating this story if it weren't for you.
FanFicAddict2007, Lionsrockursocks (keep reading, I'll address it later), ZakiaR (I'm so glad that I could lure you to the dark side, lol!), missscarlettbelle (thank you so so much for your words! I like love you, lol! But no, they're not having sex, technically Clark can't so… You'll have to wait and see!), rhapsody-child-of-the-sky, nsotnas, bailey1ak(I'm starting to touch the issue of his secret, but I will go in depth with that 'complication'), becca582, rHoffErz, xSmile, Anon.
Oh, by the way, Merry Christmas, I wish everyone all the best!
So, enjoy!
Part XIV – The Capture
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1. To attract and hold
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He was losing his grip and his fingers were falling, one by one they feel… He couldn't really find the strength to hold on.
His lack of resistance was fading and it was matching the downfall of his comfort. They were slowly slipping away into the deceptive shadows he knew a little too well and the lasting fragments of reliance were becoming nothing more than an evanescence. His burdens came back, slithering even more helplessly throughout his chest and leaving their inkling behind… leaving an invisible restlessness that he couldn't force away. It caused a pressure, one that threatened to reach his heart, and it was becoming so heavy that he thought that he might actually break.
He had felt this so many times before, but it always surprised him… how stifling it could be. It was always panting beneath his skin and shivering in his chest.
The pending feelings of doubt were corrupting him and powerlessness was traveling through his veins, pushing and replacing the comfort he desperately wanted to keep.
He was always left with too many insecurities, and they were nestled so deeply into his chest that he was afraid to hurt himself if he ever dared to unbury them. The people around him had grazed him with these insecurities, be it unintentional because they were guided by an infinite sentiment of love for him or be it intentional, wanting to pull an ache across his chest to mark him with the same pain he had unwittingly grazed upon them.
He had never wanted to afflict such a numbing and deafening emotion over someone. He tried, he always did, but it never mattered, because he never stopped hurting them. And so he was left alone, apart from the world he held so close to his heart and haunted by everything he was suppose to be.
These past few days, the ones that had turned into a week, had let him escape the sobering reality that clashed with what he wanted and what he truly was. Still, he had managed to escape it and the saddest thing was that it had never been from a conscious effort on his part. It had been… almost by instinct.
He had tried so many times to escape it all; doing a futile and careful dance to avoid the few things he didn't really want to see, and he had stopped counting out of shame for having tried, but also out of deception because he had never achieved it.
It's only in this lingering state that he realized what the past few or many days had actually meant; it had been nothing more than an enrapturing and penetrating escape. He had let so many anxieties fall away from him and the unrelenting reality surrounding him – surrounding her – had faithfully vanished.
How? And…
Had it really been an escape? Or just a useless illusion that would cause him a ceaseless and despondent ache?
Because his thoughts were trapped in a careful and guarded mind he knew, him and Lois… they could never really be.
Or maybe, just maybe…
But he was starting to feel a numbness, it came as a stifling shock to his mind and it was paralyzing his instincts, freezing his emotions at a standstill until he could only suffocate, and even gasp, on the persuasive sentiments he didn't want to feel.
Now, he really had trouble escaping them and he was almost starting to panic.
He felt… captured.
Again.
That feeling didn't end because she was here. He thought that it probably would have, if Lois could lift the plaguing anxiety suffocating his chest, if she could calm his mind into reflecting a perfect and finished puzzle, and if she could rise intense and lifelike emotions in him… She could have every well ease the haunting inside him.
But she didn't.
Or maybe…
He was blocking her ability to sooth him out.
… just maybe.
She had brought something entirely new and foreign to his mind. Something he could never escape and something he would never wish to sacrifice.
But these thoughts were resonating with the anxiety lodged in his chest, they were following the same vibrations and creating such a chaos of confusion.
Too many things eased themselves between him and her, all his troubles had imprinted themselves in his skin and they kept running though his veins, they even went as far as grazing the ancient walls of his hometown cave, and it stood so vastly grand in the artic.
But her, just her… there was something inside him, it was prolonged so deeply within him that he was almost afraid to discover the reality of it.
Clark felt her face move from the nestled angle she had comfortingly kept on his chest. Softly, he let his eyes drift open as his head fell forward to catch her gaze.
A versatile sentiment of concern was clouding those alleviating hazel eyes. "How are you feeling?"
He lifted his hand to her forehead, his fingers separating her bangs to the side and letting a few strands graze the skin of her temple in an easy caress. "I don't know." He let his voice fall between them, so quiet and wounded.
Lois shifted over his body as she raised her torso and let her forearms support her weight, her legs were still entangled between his strong ones, never giving him the impression that she was going to run. "I think there's just too many things going on inside your head right now. "
A faint smile flirted with his lips, relieved by her words and marvelling at the ease of the moment. He was starting to feel just a little bit better and a few feathers were starting to replace the heavy pieces of anxiety inside his chest. "Yeah."
She didn't respond with a smile of her own, even if he longed to see one. Her gaze traced his features, assessing the depth of the ache that was still in him. Carefully, she brought her face closer to his and dropped a kiss across his jaw. "I meant it."
Exactly. The way she saw him now… It was so different, so sacred… So dangerous.
Clark swallowed unevenly and he closed his eyes, never believing the words that were going to pass his lips. "Maybe you shouldn't." His voice fell so low and they never really voiced the truth.
He felt her move again and he wanted to curl his legs over hers when she removed them from their entanglement. Her weight shift to his lap and he lost the warmth of her arms across his chest, but he faintly felt them coming beside his head as she rested her palms on the sofa cushion behind him. He sighed softly as he felt her calves graze the outside of his thighs, she wasn't leaving just yet.
Lois aligned her face with his distressing expression and she let her long and vaguely curling hair fall around them. "That's not really for you to decide."
A frown added a perplexity to his features and he opened his eyes. It was true, he couldn't really dictate her feelings or her beliefs. She had always been strong enough to absorb things as they were and if she was feeling them so intensively, who was he to try and contradict them?
So even if he pulled away, it wouldn't change how she felt. It would never subdue the feelings and the emotions he had intentionally placed inside her. Even if they were apart this wouldn't disappear, because when he truly thought about it, neither of them were going to allow it.
Lois leaned into him, tantalizingly dropping her lips across his but never leaving a kiss behind. "You want to pull away?"
He exhaled softly against her mouth and his hands moved, always without a conscious effort, until he could feel his palms graze her buttocks. "No." His voice stayed with the lower tones, but it seemed so much more alive, and almost desperate. "No." It was true and it had always been, he never wanted this to disappear, this was too… something.
Almost too precisely, she parted her lips over his bottom one and her tongue slowly trace out its fullness. "Are you thinking about pulling away?"
His hands firmly grasped her lower cheeks, unconsciously trying to bring their hips closer together, and his fingers curled over the waistband of her jeans, his knuckles brushing against the soft skin of her lower back. "Yes." He never even had the thought to lie.
Lois faintly sucked his lower lip, letting the delicacy of his devotion rise in his chest. And he always wanted more. "Why?"
A lost moan passed his lips and Clark tightened his hold over her lower body, bringing her deeper into him. "I don't want us to end up like that." He answered without a preconceived notion, without a conscious effort; exactly how they worked together.
A soothing gasp escaped her throat at the pending friction he was starting to create between them, but still, she managed to held him exactly were she wanted him. Lois eased her hands behind his neck, burying her fingers in his thick and dark locks. "What makes you think that will happen?"
He was starting to lose himself in the sensations and he could barely restrained himself from reversing their position, he always wanted to make her feel that reckless abandonment she was skilfully able to rise inside him. "I always end up…" he wanted to say screwing things up, but if they ever ended up like this, it would be "… breaking things up."
Lois kissed him, fully bringing her lips through his and fuelling the warmth residing in his pelvis. Her tongue softly stroke his before she allowed their lips to part, but she turned the reddening sensations into flames. "You're afraid to hurt me?" She let it dropped as a question, but they both knew the veracity of her statement.
Clark raised his face to capture her lips, trying to prove to her just how talented he could be, but she titled her head backwards. She wanted an answer. "Yes," and he gave it to her.
Her gaze lingered into his and she kissed him, letting their lips graze each other twice. "I could hurt you."
She could hurt him all she wanted, it would always be better than the other way around.
He shook his head softly, trying not to break their close contact. "I don't mind. That I can take, but if it were you… And because of me."
Again, Lois kissed his lips and she eased a sentiment through him, an unbreakable one that only wanted to express her devotion. "Did you ever stopped to think that maybe I feel the same way? You could hurt me all you want Clark, I'm not saying that I'm going take it or that I will even let you do it, but I would rather feel the hurt of you hurting me, than to feel the guilt of knowing that I pained you as much as her."
And that was were the difference laid. And he could breath so much more easier.
He stared up at her, almost in wonder because with only the torturously soft caress she gave him and the words she let graze over his mind, she was able to make him escape the sober feelings that had been clouding the reality of what was now between them. "Okay."
Lois nodded. "Okay, now you see why we should keep things slow and hidden… Its just so we could feel safe for a little while, just until we could strengthen ourselves."
Please.
It was all they ever really needed.
His arms came completely around her, forgetting, for just one moment, the smoldering and amorous sensations he wanted to lay across her skin, and he let himself escape in everything she was willingly offering.
Clark nodded and buried a kiss in her hair. "Okay."
Lois curved her arms under his, softly tracing the muscles of his bicep with her fingertips. "Okay. Remember, just flowing."
This is why he felt like something worked, and it was always effortless. He never needed to try, he never needed to second guess and he never needed to suppress, he just needed to feel and something would take him away.
Like an escape.
But there was such a strong reversal at existed now. She let him escape, but he couldn't escape her or everything they had created between each other with only the capacity to breathe.
She captured him, and she had never even tried.
Well, I hope you guys liked!
Hopefully everything felt in tone with the story.
Please leave your thoughts, and review!!
Happy Holidays!