One of my pet peeves are fanfics which exist purely to make Kikyo into a villian trying to steal Inuyasha when actually, she gave him up after her first failed attempt since he unintentionally favored Kagome. This fanfic is a parody of all the scheming Kikyo plots which, when I read them, always make me envision Kikyo hiding behind a tree. They also make me laugh in that they mostly serve to get our main characters breeding. This is one of the worst fanfics you may ever have the mischance of reading.

Kikyo's Plan to Steal Inuyasha

One day, Kikyo was hiding behind a tree watching Inuyasha and the others eating. She suddenly came up with a rather clever and ingenious plot that she knew, instanteously, could never fail to bring her the hanyou she desired. So that night, when Kagome and the others fell asleep, she used her shinigami serphants to steal all of Kagome's ramen. With a wicked chortle, she snuck away.

The next morning found Inu-tachi in a state of panic. When Inuyasha awoke and there was no ramen for breakfast, he promptly roared and nearly tore out his hair.

"NO RAMEN!" he cried." Shippo meanwhile ran into tree since he so worried that the hungry hanyou might eat him instead as he had always threatened. Looking at Shippo, Miroku and Sango thought the same thing so they quietly snuck away.

"Calm down, Inuyasha. It's not the end of everything." Kagome tried to soothe the stricken hanyou but to no affect. He only curled up on the ground and growled.

"This had gotta be that bastard Sesshomaru's fault! He is always trying to take what I want!"

"Oh, come on, Inuyasha, I'm sure that can't be true. Why don't we go back to my world and we can buy all the ramen you want."

"Really?" The hanyou sniffed.

"Really."

So the two happy lovebirds walked all the way back to Kaede's Village and to their horror they found the well had been boarded up and a barrier placed around it.

"Oh no!" Inuyasha wailed. "This is so terrible!"

"Who would do such a terrible thing?" Kagome said sniffling and the two mourned together each for their selfish reasons.

"We'll have to live together in the woods from now on," Kagome sniffed. "Eating herbs and bugs and sticks."

"No more ramen!" Inuyasha wailed. "Nothing but boar's meat till the day that I die!"

"It won't be that bad Inuyasha. If we work together, maybe we could start a koi farm."

"You think?" Inuyasha sniffed. "Well it's better than nothing."

So, since Miroku, Sango, Shippo, and Kilala had vanished elsewhere and finding Naraku was the least of their worries, Inuyasha and Kagome cleared out several acres on the nearby mountaintop. Here, they dug a deep pond to keep koi fish in. Then they planted a garden full of vegetables and made a smokehouse to make dried fish and venison. Then they got married and got to work making lots of babies to help them with their farm. Kikyo was livid.

"Drat!" she said. "My marvelously evil plan has backfired! I must away to my arch-enemy Naraku, to ally with him against our greater enemy, Inuyasha!" So saying, Kikyo slipped away into the dead of the midday since it wasn't evening yet.

Naraku was taking a bath at Kikyo's arrival. He slipped on a bar of soap and Kikyo overheard him calling it the most evil weapon he had ever come across. So Kikyo borrowed the piece of soap and laid in front the Inuyasha's doorway, hoping that he would slip on it and fall into a Team Rocket style pit-fall trap which bottomed out in Hell. But she forgot where the covering was and fell through it instead. Her shinigami went into retirement.

Epilogue: No one ever saw Kikyo again. After his bath Naraku felt so clean that he decided to give up his wrongdoings and become a spiritualist. Kagome and Inuyasha continued to live one merrily and founded an entire village by themselves. As for their friends, Miroku, Sango, Kilala, and Shippo became internationally famous ramen chiefs. They eventually recounseled with Inuyasha and Kagome and went on to start a chain of five-star restaurants all across Japan. The end.