Disclaimer: I own nothing…
Summary: Her hot breath whispers over his neck, and he feels the way her chest rises and falls with each intake and exhale, and hot tears gather to sting his eyes. He can't believe how much it affects him, just feeling her breath… (Continuation of 'Aliens In A Spaceship')
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes: This began as something completely different from what it became, but I think I like where it ended up… I apologize for any mistakes. I tried to go through and edit it, but it's 3am and I'm about ready to pass out, so I imagine my editing didn't do much for it…
The lyrics I used are from "A Light On A Hill" by Margot and the Nuclear So and So's. They may not seem to be completely appropriate for this fic, but the song was featured in the episode, and it was so powerful, in my opinion… It was the inspiration for this story, and so I've included it here, even if it doesn't fit perfectly…
Enjoy.
(And just so everyone knows, that line at the end that's underlined? Yeah, that's supposed to be crossed out, but since won't let me do that, I used the underline, and put this little note here... I'm really beginning to miss the old system here...)
Breathe:
Booth,
Thank you. I know you never gave up on me… And I want you to know that you never let me down.
Hodgins made me realize something today… You gave me faith. Not in God, but in you. And I know that any moment now, you're going to be right here, pulling me out of this hole… Because that's what you do when you love someone. You keep them safe, and you protect them… And you have faith.
So I'm not writing this to say goodbye. I'm writing it in hopes that maybe, someday, I'll build up the courage to let you read it. To tell you that I have faith in you, and that I need you…
And that I think I'm falling in love with you.
- Temperance
He stares at her, the smile on his face fading slowly, as he realizes exactly how much he had almost lost. Her own smile wavers, her eyes clouding with saddened relief as she watches him. Before she even knows what is happening, he is reaching for her; pulling her into his arms as his body trembles with all of the feelings that have built up inside him. Her hot breath whispers over his neck, and he feels the way her chest rises and falls with each intake and exhale, and hot tears gather to sting his eyes. He can't believe how much it affects him, just feeling her breath… Because he knows that only moments before he had been so sure it was something he would never see her do again.
His fingers stroke through her hair, and her arms tighten around him, as he feels her own tears begin to dampen his skin. He feels her lips move, but hears no sound, and he wonders what she could be whispering. But he doesn't ask. He can't. The emotions he is trying his best to choke back keep him from uttering a sound, because he knows that the moment he opens his mouth, he will lose the tiny bit of control he is trying his best to hold on to. So instead he stays silent, locking her in his arms and holding her close as she cries slow tears against him.
That's no way to live
all tangled up like balls of string
And we woke at dawn
and watched the sun glide over the hill
From just a few feet away, Cam's eyes fall to the two of them, and she can't quite seem to tear her eyes away. She sees the tears burning in her lover's eyes, and she sees the desperation in Brennan as she tries to gather him closer. She feels like an intruder here. All around her there is relief and emotion, friendships reestablished, love blossoming… She is an outsider among a family, who barely realize she's there, and she wonders for a moment whether or not she could ever be a part of it…
In the back of her mind, she knows that her relationship with Booth has to be over… Because she had seen the pain in his eyes when he had feared that they would never find them. She had seen how he had reacted without a second thought the moment he had seen the explosion, no hesitancy strong enough to keep him from throwing himself down that embankment. She had seen the desperation in him when he was pulling Brennan out of the ground…
And she had seen the way he had gathered her into his arms and held tight, nothing but love emanating from the two of them. Here she was, watching them, an intruder on a moment that could be called nothing short of intimate.
And so, with a sad smile, she turned away from the two of them, giving them all the space they would need.
I just said the first
three words that popped into my head
Let me off the bus; I'm tired and soar and should probably change clothes
And the circuits are blown,
my woman is cold,
our children are stoned and worthless
All waiting for you to tell them the truth. The truth is a line, that you'll never use
When he had dropped her off and she had asked him to go, he had gone, resolving that he would give her the space she needed, because he feared that his insistence would push her away. But now he regrets the choice more than anything he has ever done… Because every time he allows his eyes to drift shut, he awakens in tears, images of her, tapped, buried alive, flashing behind his eyes.
He wants nothing more than to call. His finger hovers over the button on his phone, be he can't quite bring himself to call. He wants to give her space. To let her come to terms with everything that had happened… And yet, he knows he needs to hold her. Needs to feel her against him, just to know that she is truly there. That the whole rescue was not simply a mirage. He wants to tell her how scared he was. How it had felt like his entire world had fallen out from under him when he had gotten that call. He wants to tell her that he had had the intense urge to murder Hodgins himself when he had discovered that there would be no payout without proof of life, because that damn rule had nearly taken her from him. He wants to tell her that he needs her, and he loves her, and he wants nothing more than for her to understand how he feels for her.
To him, she is everything. And when your everything is nearly taken from you, you need them close to keep the fears at bay… And so he lies awake, his body cold and tired as he wraps his arms around himself and lets silent tears leak from his eyes. He wants her there so badly, but he knows he can't call, and so he stays exactly where he is, desperately trying to remind himself that she's home and she's safe, and he doesn't need to worry anymore…
But the worrying is something he simply can't stop, because just a few hours ago, she had been buried alive, and he had been desperately searching for her, and he just can't stop himself from going back to that place… Not when she's not there in his arms, where he can be sure she's safe.
And her dignity
shown so bright like a light on a hill
And she burned for me,
and no other man came near the flame
And bad country songs the deafening twang of the rich-white-kid blues
You can own the stage,
but the lights and glares will not make you real
The gentle knock at the door startles him, and suddenly he is filled with dread, because he can't quite seem to get himself past that place where he wonders if it was all real; if he had really managed to get to her in time…
When he opens the door, she stands before him, her eyes swollen from tears, and she simply looks at him, the restlessness and fear that he has been feeling reflecting back at him from her eyes. He knows she wants to say something, but she can't quite force her lips to move, and it doesn't matter anyway, because he can see everything in her eyes…
She needs him. Just like he needs her.
And so he gathers her into his arms, and she breaks, a fresh wave of tears pouring from her eyes as she collapses into him, her legs suddenly failing her, but it doesn't matter because he's there, and she's safe…
She's safe.
"I was so scared…"
Her mumbled words are barely recognizable, but he knows what she is confessing, and he holds her tighter as his fingers smooth down her hair, and his lips graze her forehead. His own tears begin to slip as she trembles against him with the soft sobs that wrack her body.
"I know." His words are soft and gentle as he rocks her in his arms and lets her cry out all of her fears. "I know."
For a long time, she cries, and he simply lets her. As her sobs taper, and her tears begin to slow, he expects her to pull away… But instead she cuddles closer into the comfort of his strong arms, and he lets a smile slip over his features as he cradles her against him, relief washing over him, because he doesn't want to lose the warmth of her body against his… Because it feels right, and he knows that if she pulls back, he will instantly miss the steady feel of her breathing, a feeling he suddenly realizes he treasures more than anything.
She tips her head up, and he lets his eyes fall to hers while he smiles softly, and she returns it, reaching up to let her fingers glide over his cheek, her eyes locking on his.
"I don't want to be alone tonight." Her words are whispered, so quiet, he almost thinks he has imagined them, but when her lips meet his, soft and sweet against him, he knows he hasn't.
For a moment, when she pulls back, he is left breathless, a look of wonder veiling his features. Her fingers rest just beside the corner of his mouth, and her eyes fall to his lips before she lets those fingers trace over them.
He is frozen in awe until he feels her pull away, gathering his hand in hers as she urges him gently toward his bedroom, the almost-smile that plays on her lips and the soft reassurance that settles in her eyes propelling him forward.
When she breaks from him, turning away and slipping out of her shoes, she slowly unbuttons the blouse she wears. After a moment, she slips it off her shoulders and lets it flutter to the floor before she turns back to him, her fingers working delicately at the button on her slacks. As he stands, frozen, watching her, she lets them slide to the floor, and she stares back at him, waiting.
His breath catches in his throat and for a moment he can do nothing more than stare as she stands before him in soft, silky lace, not even the slightest hint of hesitation in her eyes. When she steps closer, her body liquid grace, he opens his mouth to speak, her name the only sound that falls from his lips before her fingertips silence him. He has so many objections, so many reasons that this isn't right, that it shouldn't happen this way, when they are both so emotionally charged… But when the corners of her lips turn up into the slightest smile and her eyes meet with his, the certainty she feels reflecting back at him, he can't quite seem to find his voice… And just to be sure, her lips touch his, effectively silencing any protest, and assuring him that nothing they are doing could possibly be wrong because she knows they both feel how incredibly right it is to be right here in this moment…
And so he lets her pull him to the bed, where they both fall together, all of the fear and uncertainty of the day melting away as they make love for the first time, all of that need and desperation finally bringing them to the one place they had both always known they were heading…
And as she lies in his arms, sleep slowly taking over, he watches her. Gently pushing back the auburn strands that have fallen across her eyes, he smiles down at her, dropping a kiss to her lips before moving his lips to her ear. Softly, he whispers his love to her, and she sighs in contentment as she shifts closer to him. With a smile, he gathers her into his arms, the gentle feel of her breathing lulling him into sleep.
She whispers to me, I was meant to be free
This life that we've built is deadly
She crawls from my bed, runs a comb across her head
She crawls to the train and drives herself home
When he awakens in the morning, his arms are empty, and for a moment, he wonders if it had all been a dream. But he knows that it wasn't, and a sudden fear builds in him, because she isn't there, and he wonders if maybe his confession had been too much for her. He knows how she feels about relationships, and he wonders then if she even believes in love…
But when he turns to the pillow beside him, and sees the crumpled paper that lies there, his worries melt away, though he can't quite be sure why… So he reaches out and unfolds it, smiling as he reads the words she has left for him…
Booth,
Thank you. I know you never gave up on me… And I want you to know that you never let me down.
Hodgins made me realize something today… You gave me faith. Not in God, but in you. And I know that any moment now, you're going to be right here, pulling me out of this hole… Because that's what you do when you love someone. You keep them safe, and you protect them… And you have faith.
So I'm not writing this to say goodbye. I'm writing it in hopes that maybe, someday, I'll build up the courage to let you read it. To tell you that I have faith in you, and that I need you…
And that I think I'm falling in love with you. I love you.
- Temperance
A/N: And just in case anyone missed the note at the top, that line there that's underlined is supposed to be crossed out, but wouldn't let me do that...
Hope you liked it!