Hey hey hey...
Yet another SVU fic from yours truly. I'm not too sure what the response to this one will be like. I'm not sure where i got the idea from either. I was on the brink of turning this into a humour fic or an angst fic, and me and my morbid self won out, and here you have an angsty-ish fic.
I like the Casey/Alex pairing, which isn't around much and thought i'd try my hand at it.
I was inspired by Lijep's story 'When Alex Met Casey'. Go and read it, it's great!
She had promised herself that this would be the last time. Yet as she moans Alex's name and clings to the sheets, her knuckles turning white, she knows that it is a promise she will continue to break as frequently as Alex would allow.
Every time this happens, it's always 'the last time'. Yet when she opens her apartment door and sees Alex standing there, the voice behind her conscience disappears; as does her stress…
She is weak. But she longs to feel. To feel anything other than numbness – Alex gives her that, and gets it back in return.
No strings attached, it's what they each agreed to. But each time this happens it progresses.
Casey remembers the first time this happened. Thunder cracked loudly over Manhattan and just as she returns to the couch with a glass of wine and a good book, a knock sounds on the door. She gets up to answer it and fights to keep her emotions neutral when she sees Alex standing on the other side looking as broken as Casey always manages to let herself feel after most cases. She lets Alex in and offers her some wine to unwind.
One drink turns to two, two to three, three to four, until they both seem to lose count. Neither of them speaks; there's really nothing to say. They both know what they deal with on a daily basis.
She looks up at Alex and is shocked when she finds that her cheeks are stained with tears. She realizes that deep down; Alex is just as shattered as the rest of them.
It was the first time Casey saw the woman beyond the 'Ice Queen' façade.
As soon as the door opens these days, Alex rushes her. Gone are the days of awkward conversation and a few glasses of wine. Gentle caresses never existed; each too jaded by what they see and hear everyday to even remember what gentle is.
As Alex slides off of Casey and turns her back to Casey to sleep, Casey muses over the fact that Alex never used to stay the night. This only started recently, though Casey doesn't mind. Even though she knows what they agreed to, she still finds it nice to wake up with someone next to her. When Alex is maybe a little too tipsy, they sometimes fall asleep in each other's arms, and it seems almost normal. She wonders if Alex likes that feeling, too, and comes to the conclusion that she must; other wise she wouldn't continue coming over and spending the night.
Casey briefly wonders if this is what it feels like to be used. She quickly tells herself that she doesn't care. She needs to know that the world isn't completely made up of evil people, and Alex helps her realize this.
When the two wake the next morning, they go about their morning routine in silence. They each take showers, feeling too dirty from the night's events and swiftly get dressed in separate rooms.
Casey walks out of her bedroom and waits at the door to her apartment, waiting for Alex to walk out and continue out of the apartment, as she does on the mornings after. Spotting the spare bedroom door open, Casey opens the front door and just as Alex reaches her, Casey stares intently into the Alex's blue eyes.
"This won't happen again."
"It never does."
Let me know how ya feel. Click the Review button...