View from the Armchair

By Michael Weyer

I don't own anything at Marvel so don't sue. Probably not what's going to happen with "Civil War" but thought I'd share it anyway. All comments welcomed.

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"What fools these mortals be." Whatever playwright it was who said that stroke the nail sorely upon its head.

It is all coming together now. The battle is coming. The battle from which there can be no true winners, only chaos. Chaos that will be as the sweetest music to mine ears.

Though it galls me to say it, I could not do it all alone. I required aid from some demons to escape my seemingly inevitable fate. Not only to escape but to do so with my power intact. But they realized the benefits this could have for them and thus agreed. Mephisto, in fact, spoke aloud how jealous he was, that he did not think of such a stratagem first.

I am not surprised. Few can match my brilliance at deceit, especially at its most subtle.

Manipulating the mind of Stark was almost laughably easy. If that foolish would-be future warlord could do it, I certainly could. Unlike he, I was not attempting to subvert Iron Man to murder and treachery. Instead, I simply pushed Stark's desire for control to new levels. He already feared the misuse of his technology and power. Expanding that to include those of others was no great feat at all. He truly believes what he is doing is right, that the end justifies the means. And that will make his downfall all the sweeter to watch.

Richards was also simple. Men of "science" are so ready to believe in their numbers and calculations, they never really wonder what if those "numbers" have been tweaked a bit. So convinced is Richards that disaster will come in the future, he never thought to look around him. Combined with his love for that foolish family of his, he is staunch in support of Stark's plans.

Hank Pym…please. The man is a weakling, I knew that from our first encounter lo those many years ago. He wishes to do good, to do penance for those mistakes of his past. I cannot wait to see his reaction when he realizes he has made the greatest mistake of all. I do believe he may finish that attempt he made once to end his life.

Ridding the planet of the Hulk was a pleasure to be sure but also quite necessary. That green-skinned brute is far too great an unknown to be allowed to rampage about while my plans unfolded. All I had to do was nudge the mass distrust those self-appointed "protectors" had for Banner and viola! Earth is Hulk-less.

Hmmm….I had hoped that would be the last one would see of him but it appears he survived. Yet that actually makes this all the better. When he eventually returns (and he will return for, curse him, the creature is unstoppable), the anger and mayhem he brings shall literally shake this world to the core.

But before that happens, this War will claim more lives on each side. I knew there would be one of these heroes to fight against Stark. For it to be Captain America makes it all the better. This man who clings to the dream of an America that truly never was, fighting his own government; I could not create such irony if I tried. He is losing the moral ground he has long stood upon, becoming the very sort of fanatic he once fought against. When he realizes the truth…when he realizes how he has betrayed his name…his anguish shall be exquisite.

Yes…yes, it is all coming together. This plot I put into motion with the actions of the Scarlet Witch. It is true I called upon many resources and skills to fool that collection of costumed nitwits. But even I could not believe none of them questioned the events that occurred. How suddenly, the Witch forgot she once had those magical children. That without reason, her childish ability to alter probability turned into the power to restructure all reality. I had expected at least one to suspect that I was twisting her mind while adding onto her power. Yet none did.

"No such thing as chaos magic…" It was all I could do not to reveal myself to them then and there and laugh at how they believed that. Casting the massive illusion involving Strange and maintaining it was difficult. Not only did I need them to believe Strange was there and aiding but I also had to ensure the true Strange would not question what occurred and unravel the plot.

The powers of Mephisto and Dormunamu helped but I needed one who had the same training as Strange and could duplicate those abilities. Mephisto just happened to have one such soul in his domain. I was prepared to offer most anything for his taking part but once he heard my plans, Baron Karl Amadeus Mordo was more than willing to help, free of price.

The "House of M…" Ah, I shall cherish that masterpiece for ages to come. Once again, the gullibility of these humans amazes me. They are ready to accept that all of reality and history has been altered to a massive degree more than it is all a mass dream state? I had planned on depowering the majority of those mutants for some time. It was necessary to add onto my own waning power level. But for it to add to the hysteria growing upon this world was just the icing upon the desert.

It also allowed me the opportunity to gain revenge for a long-ago slight. Finding a dying man and imbuing him with some of that mutant energy was one step. Sending him to Earth with false memories was the second. The piece de resistance was the X-Men's mentor supposedly revealing how he had lied to them all these years. Ah, Charles Xavier. When you awaken from your coma in that backward European land, I cannot wait to see the welcome you get when you go back to your school. When your students treat you as an enemy for concealing a brother Cyclops never had, a group of mutants who never existed and what happened upon that island. (Making them believe an island is actually alive? Please. Even I would give him more credit than that.)

All that heat causing the pot to boil…I only needed to give it that last push to make it burst. Stamford was it. The secret messages to cause those teenage heroes to meet that selection of villains was simple. The explosion, obvious. But oh…oh, the reaction that will come when they discover no one truly died. All held alive, in a limbo dimension of my own with duplicated "remains" left behind. I do not know which reaction will be more deliciously horrified: The government and heroes when they realize all this chaos was for naught…or the "victims" when they learn what has been done in their name.

I suppose the clone of Thor was a bit of vanity. I could not help it. Upon realizing what Stark had, I simply could not resist the idea of a facsimile of that muscle-bound dolt being used in such a fashion. Fighting against the one mortal he held in higher regard than all others, fighting for a side the true Thor would find unjust, killing another hero…Now, none shall ever speak the name of Thor with honor again.

It has become far more wondrous than I had originally planned for. Seeing those disgustingly close Fantastic Four torn apart; that insufferable Spider-Man with his life ruined and his enemies now knowing his name; Stark and Richards willing to turn to the very madmen they've sworn to defeat; the Inhumans ready to wage was and the Red Skull conspiring with Doom yet no one is able to see those threats looming. This Civil War shall be the end of this world of heroes and what an inglorious end it shall be.

They shall know the truth of course. When Rogers lies battered and torn as his country. When Stark realizes he has taken the wrong paths. When Richards discovers his math is as flawed as his heart. They shall know who it was who brought this about. They will not believe it at first but will then realize it makes perfect sense. Who better to destroy this assemblage of heroes than the one who caused them to come together in the first place.

Oh, they have laughed at me for so many, many years for that. That I helped bring those Avengers together. But when the battle has ended, when the bodies of friends lie about them and they realize they have all been used….Only one voice of laughter shall be heard.

"He who laughs last, laughs best," is another mortal saying. I know realize how true that is. This Civil War has been the greatest jest I have played in my long existence.

And in the end, the last best laugh shall belong….to Loki.