Disclaimer: Do not own gundam seed or any of its characters.
Summary: Each time after a war, she would find a time to lock herself up in the room, sit on the table and read the list of all casualties. She would then fold a crane to remember all that she had lost, saving the last three for a special reason.
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It was a way of remembering.
A way of remembering all the people she had lost.
To the war, to natural causes, or to some other reasons.
Every time, after a war ended, this was what she would do.
It did not lessen her grief, but it lessened her pain.
It lessened her guilt as well.
The idea came after the first Bloody Valentine war.
Kira had told her of the paper flowers they had folded to apologize to the victims of Junius Seven, for the Archangel had been forced to use resources from the ruins in order to survive.
It had taken up a lot of her time to learn it, but it was worth it.
And it had taken up a lot more time to fold the cranes, for the casualties had reached a number as high as over a million.
She remembered the first thing she did when the Archangel returned to Earth, to Orb.
After the talks with her advisors, she had returned to her room, where a hidden stack of origami paper awaited her.
Her hand reached out to the very first sheet of paper.
Every fold, every crease tore at her heart.
The very first completed crane went to the box at her side.
She then folded two more. The two for her father, his ideals, his beliefs.
Another two more. For Mwu La Fllaga, the Endymion Hawk, who would never once more hold the woman he loved dearly, who had sacrificed himself so the Archangel could go home.
She abruptly stopped. Home.
How many a times had she heard that word and had believed in it? How many a people had believed in it but never returned?
How many?
All the more she had to finish folding the cranes. Even though it would take up much of her sleep, rest and breaks, even though Kisaka had persuaded her to at least rest, without knowing what she was doing in the late nights, she would not stop.
Another crease. She smoothed it out.
She would not stop until she had covered every victim in the list.
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The Second Bloody Valentine had started.
Orb was forced to battle for its survival once more.
Casualty lists were placed on her table everyday.
Everyday, the list grew longer and longer.
Everyday, she would stay up later to fold the cranes.
Everyday, an important person to her died.
She folded a crane for Yunna as well, for although he had been scheming, he had been a victim of the war as well.
She folded six cranes for Shinn's family as well, for they had died also because of the war.
Even on the nights where she was on the Archangel, she would fold the cranes as well.
Kira always asked why she looked tired.
She would smile, and say she was fine.
But she was tearing up inside. She wanted to scream.
But she had to keep her calm.
For she was the future of Orb.
She saw ZAFT and EAF soldiers fall in war as well.
She folded for them, for the people she would never know.
She folded for the innocents who were suffering.
Fold, crease, fold.
Completed, she placed it in the box, which was close to overflowing. She looked at the lot of cranes, and pushed it slightly farther from her to pull out another box. She started o fold another.
"Cagalli? This is the casualty list you asked for. It's lesser than the previous, but makes no difference…this people all fell in battle…" Kira told her.
She said her thanks, took it from him, and read it. She visited Athrun in the ward much later, trying to look her best.
They would never be the same again. A love between a Coordinator and a Natural was impossible. Athrun would never say it, but she knew. She knew the red- haired girl that was with Athrun when the Archangel found them would be a perfect match with him.
It pained her to admit it, but the girl was a Coordinator as well, so they were perfect.
She distanced herself from him, focusing on only finishing the cranes.
That was her true job.
Her job until the war ended.
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The war reached an end.
The casualty list reached her once more, and she got back to work.
Two for Talia Gladys, two for Gilbert Dullindal, two for Rey Za Burrel.
She folded a thousand more for the children and the people who had died at the Lodonia labs.
She folded two for Stellar Loussier, upon learning that she was the person Shinn loved. She would never meet Stellar, but that was okay.
She folded even on the ship to the PLANTS, where the negotiations would take place.
After the peace treaty was signed, she returned to Orb.
She learned from Kira that Athrun would be leaving for the PLANTS with Shinn and the Hawke sisters.
The news tore into her deeply.
The gap between them could never be fixed.
Kira, Lacus and Murrue had all worried for her,
But she smiled everyday, even though she bled inside.
She would return to her room that fateful night.
Tonight, after tonight, the cranes made over the years would serve their purpose.
But there were three more left.
She reached out towards the last three sheets of origami paper.
A tear fell as she made the first fold.
More tears fell as she made the next few folds.
Every time a stack ended with these three unique colored paper,
She had placed them aside,
For they would serve a special purpose.
Three cranes were soon in her line of vision.
She tilted her head back and let the tears fall freely.
Trembling hands reached out towards the last three.
Each of the cranes was of a unique color.
They would forever symbolize her love for a Coordinator.
Forever.
Things will never be the same again.
These words haunted her from even before the war.
She had poured her heart and soul into making these three cranes.
She removed the ring on her finger.
I know there's nothing between you and Yunna Roma, but I don't like it…so…
This isn't a way to give a girl a ring!
I know…but…its like a promise ring, okay? I'll come back for you, that's for sure…
I'll wait for you then…
And placed it on the neck of one of the cranes.
Shaking hands picked up the three cranes.
At her instruction,
The cranes she had folded over the years would be released in space to remember the victims or the soldiers that had died in the war.
"Cagalli? I need the cranes, for I'm setting out now… Cagalli, isn't that…?"
The shaking hands soon held steady over the pile of cranes waiting.
They did not make a sound as they landed on the pile.
Kira Yamato watched as his sister's heart fell among the pile.
She walked past him with a barely audible "Thank you."
He felt the tears from her hit his shoulders.
Cagalli Yula Attha had folded the last three paper cranes for a promise that should never had been made in the first place.
That night itself, Cagalli Yula Attha was no more in the world, having passed away from an illness that had been plaguing her secretly for months, an illness that the world didn't know she had in the first place.
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She would never hear the cries of a heart- broken Coordinator who clutched the amber- emerald crane to his chest, the one with the ring on it, the one that Kira had kept with him after news of his sister's death reached him and the PLANTS the next morning. Grief- stricken as he was, he felt it fitting to return to the man his sister had loved deeply. Athrun had been hit hard upon the news of her death, chased Meyrin away as she tried to comfort him, and broken down as Kira passed him the crane.
Millions and millions of cranes floated in the limitless galaxy that day, and would forever.
Only one would not.
Some time later after they had released the cranes, they had went to her grave.
Cagalli Yula Attha
CE 55- CE76
Beloved leader, sister & lover
May she rest among the stars forever
The crane he had kept close to him, he now placed it on her grave, along with the ring, and her favorite flower, the orange hibiscus that grew only on Orb.
"Cagalli…I'm so sorry! I was an idiot…I'm so sorry…"
If only, if only, I could turn back time once more…
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A/N: Okay…the story looks kind of weird, but I was simply typing away so I can't really figure out much….…actually, I had this inspiration while I was doing my homework and it struck me all of a sudden. BUT! Killing Cagalli was never my intention, I swear! But somehow the story turned weird, and it was supposed to be angst, so I hated myself as I "killed" off Cagalli… I considered killing off Athrun, but I felt that would be too overboard, so I decided to just let him grief over Cagalli- sama's death. Timeline is also extremely messy, but I can't do anything…TT…
Anyway, its up to you to review or not, flames are accepted as well, since I wrote such a depressing and messy story, and killed off one of the more popular characters…TT