Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 9, or The Weakest Link. Maybe I
would make more money if I did, but unfortunately, I don't, so...
A/N: If you haven't read the original FF9: The Weakest Link, you might
want to read that first, since I might be making references to that.
FF9: The Weakest Link 2
Behind the set...
CLOUD TRIBAL: A sequel? I promised a sequel? WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!
CLOUD TRIBAL: Anne's dead, the original contestants have moved on...
CLOUD TRIBAL: WHAT AM I GONNA DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGGGGH!!!
CLOUD TRIBAL: Okay...okay...calm down, CT...what can I do...
CLOUD TRIBAL: Wait, I'll get the sacred God of Inspiration to help!
(CT runs off, and returns with 20 gallons of...MR. PIBB!!)
CLOUD TRIBAL: Oh, divine liquid, impart me with inspiration!
(CT chugs all the Pibb)
CLOUD TRIBAL: (eyes widen) Sugar...intense...GOT IT!
(CT uses author powers to bring ANNE ROBINSON back from the grave)
ANNE: Where the hell am I? And...OH GOD, IT'S YOU!
CLOUD TRIBAL: Shut up and get out there. I need you to host.
ANNE: You're doing a sequel? Don't you remember what happened last time?
CLOUD TRIBAL: Yeah, but I promised. Now, GET...OUT...THERE!!
On the set...
ANNE: Welcome to.."The Weakest Link"!
AUDIENCE: Yaaaaaaaaay!
ANNE: This time we have eight new contestants for your reading pleasure!
AUDIENCE: Yaaaaaaaaay!
CONTESTANT #1: I'm Adelbert Steiner, the captain of the Knights of Pluto of Alexandria!
15% of AUDIENCE: RUSTY! RUSTY! RUUUUUUUUUUSTY!!
CONTESTANT #2: I'm Eiko Carol, a summoner from Madain Sari!
30% of AUDIENCE: EIKO! WE LOVE YOU!
CONTESTANT #3: I'm Garland, a Genome Creator from Bran Bal, Terra!
10% of AUDIENCE: GAAAAAAAAAAAAARLAND!
CONTESTANT #4: KILL!
AUDIENCE: Wha?
CLOUD TRIBAL: It's a Black Mage.
AUDIENCE: Ohh...
CLOUD TRIBAL: Translation: I'm a Black Mage from Dali, and I'm a murderer!
10% of AUDIENCE: BLACK MAGES ROCK!
CONTESTANT #5: I'm Amarant Coral fr-
CLOUD TRIBAL: B-but I KILLED YOU!
AMARANT: I'm too cool to stay dead.
CLOUD TRIBAL: STAY DEAD!
(CT kills AMARANT)
(AMARANT reanimates)
CLOUD TRIBAL: Why...
(CT kills AMARANT)
(AMARANT reanimates)
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...won't...
(CT kills AMARANT)
(AMARANT reanimates)
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...you...
(CT kills AMARANT)
(AMARANT reanimates)
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...DIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
AMARANT: Too cool.
AMARANT: As I was saying, I'm Amarant from Treno and I'm a mercenary type guy.
20% of AUDIENCE: WE'RE YOU'RE COOL FANS! GO, AMARANTY!
CONTESTANT #6: I'm Cid Fabool, the Regent of Lindblum!
6% of AUDIENCE: GO CID!
CONTESTANT #7: I am Necron, a Lord of Death from Hell!
7% of AUDIENCE: TAKE THEIR SOULS!
CONTESTANT #8: I'm Doctor Tot, I'm...well, a doctor from Treno!
2% of AUDIECNE: TOT! TOT! TOT!
ANNE: Well then...now that the introductions are complete...
ANNE: Here are the rules. Get questions correct. The more you get correct, the more money you get.
If your get a question wrong, you will be hated by fellow teammates! You can also bank your earnings.
At the end of each round, you can vote off a teammate, and they'll get zip! Shall we begin?
ALL: Okay...
ANNE: Questions in this round will be about Final Fantasy 9. Start the clock at 2:30.
ANNE: Steiner. What is the item that teaches Boost?
STEINER: I'd say Pumice?
ANNE: No, Pumice Piece. Eiko, what does Zidane learn from the Butterfly Sword?
EIKO: What's That?
ANNE: Correct. Garland, where is magic unusable?
GARLAND: Oelivert.
ANNE: Correct. Black Mage...
NECRON: He can't get anything right, all he can say is "Kill!".
ANNE: ...what do you do to the monsters?
BLACK MAGE: KILL!
ANNE: Oh...my...correct! Amarant, what is the name of the Prince of Burmecia?
AMARANT: Puck.
TOT: Did he say what I thought he said!
NECRON: He said **** didn't he?
EIKO: AAAAAAH! My virgin ears...
CLOUD TRIBAL: Please don't make me up the rating...
ANNE: Correct, anyway. Cid, what is the name of the card expert in Alexandria?
CID: Alleyway Jack?
ANNE: Correct! Necron, what is the site of the final battle?
NECRON: Well I should know. Specifically, Hill of Despair.
ANNE: Correct! Tot...
TOT: Bank! (Savings: 50,000 gil)
ANNE: ...why do you look like a parrot?
TOT: Is that REALLY related to FFIX?
ANNE: ...Yeeeeeeaaaaaaah...
TOT: Fine...it was a...it was a...a BIRTH DEFECT!!! (sobs)
ANNE: Uhhh...correct?
CLOUD TRIBAL: Works for me.
ANNE: Correct! Steiner, what is the name of the boss fought in Mount Gulug?
STEINER: Meltigemini?
ANNE: Correct! Eiko, what is the area where rooms are upside-down?
EIKO: Ipsen's Castle!
ANNE: Correct! Garland...
GARLAND: Bank! (Savings: 55,000 gil)
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
ANNE: Well, time is up. Now, get ready to vote.
(They vote...)
ANNE: Time is up, let's see the votes.
STEINER: ...Tot.
EIKO: ...Steiner.
GARLAND: ...Tot.
BLACK MAGE: KILL!
AMARANT: ...Tot.
CID: ...Steiner.
NECRON: ...Tot.
TOT: ...Steiner.
ANNE: Well, I see. Steiner, why did you vote for Doctor Tot?
STEINER: Who else should I have voted for?
ANNE: YOU were the weakest link.
ANNE: But it's votes that count. Tot, with 4 votes, you ARE The Weakest Link.
ANNE: Goodbye!
(Tot leaves, shamed)
Behind the set...
TOT: They'll regret that. My intellect would be useful later, and they know it!
TOT: I think Steiner will go next because he has no friends.
Back to the set...
ANNE: We'll be back!
A/N: I know it was kind of lengthy, but none of the other parts will be this long.
Anyways, you know the drill. You read, you review.
would make more money if I did, but unfortunately, I don't, so...
A/N: If you haven't read the original FF9: The Weakest Link, you might
want to read that first, since I might be making references to that.
FF9: The Weakest Link 2
Behind the set...
CLOUD TRIBAL: A sequel? I promised a sequel? WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!
CLOUD TRIBAL: Anne's dead, the original contestants have moved on...
CLOUD TRIBAL: WHAT AM I GONNA DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGGGGH!!!
CLOUD TRIBAL: Okay...okay...calm down, CT...what can I do...
CLOUD TRIBAL: Wait, I'll get the sacred God of Inspiration to help!
(CT runs off, and returns with 20 gallons of...MR. PIBB!!)
CLOUD TRIBAL: Oh, divine liquid, impart me with inspiration!
(CT chugs all the Pibb)
CLOUD TRIBAL: (eyes widen) Sugar...intense...GOT IT!
(CT uses author powers to bring ANNE ROBINSON back from the grave)
ANNE: Where the hell am I? And...OH GOD, IT'S YOU!
CLOUD TRIBAL: Shut up and get out there. I need you to host.
ANNE: You're doing a sequel? Don't you remember what happened last time?
CLOUD TRIBAL: Yeah, but I promised. Now, GET...OUT...THERE!!
On the set...
ANNE: Welcome to.."The Weakest Link"!
AUDIENCE: Yaaaaaaaaay!
ANNE: This time we have eight new contestants for your reading pleasure!
AUDIENCE: Yaaaaaaaaay!
CONTESTANT #1: I'm Adelbert Steiner, the captain of the Knights of Pluto of Alexandria!
15% of AUDIENCE: RUSTY! RUSTY! RUUUUUUUUUUSTY!!
CONTESTANT #2: I'm Eiko Carol, a summoner from Madain Sari!
30% of AUDIENCE: EIKO! WE LOVE YOU!
CONTESTANT #3: I'm Garland, a Genome Creator from Bran Bal, Terra!
10% of AUDIENCE: GAAAAAAAAAAAAARLAND!
CONTESTANT #4: KILL!
AUDIENCE: Wha?
CLOUD TRIBAL: It's a Black Mage.
AUDIENCE: Ohh...
CLOUD TRIBAL: Translation: I'm a Black Mage from Dali, and I'm a murderer!
10% of AUDIENCE: BLACK MAGES ROCK!
CONTESTANT #5: I'm Amarant Coral fr-
CLOUD TRIBAL: B-but I KILLED YOU!
AMARANT: I'm too cool to stay dead.
CLOUD TRIBAL: STAY DEAD!
(CT kills AMARANT)
(AMARANT reanimates)
CLOUD TRIBAL: Why...
(CT kills AMARANT)
(AMARANT reanimates)
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...won't...
(CT kills AMARANT)
(AMARANT reanimates)
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...you...
(CT kills AMARANT)
(AMARANT reanimates)
CLOUD TRIBAL: ...DIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
AMARANT: Too cool.
AMARANT: As I was saying, I'm Amarant from Treno and I'm a mercenary type guy.
20% of AUDIENCE: WE'RE YOU'RE COOL FANS! GO, AMARANTY!
CONTESTANT #6: I'm Cid Fabool, the Regent of Lindblum!
6% of AUDIENCE: GO CID!
CONTESTANT #7: I am Necron, a Lord of Death from Hell!
7% of AUDIENCE: TAKE THEIR SOULS!
CONTESTANT #8: I'm Doctor Tot, I'm...well, a doctor from Treno!
2% of AUDIECNE: TOT! TOT! TOT!
ANNE: Well then...now that the introductions are complete...
ANNE: Here are the rules. Get questions correct. The more you get correct, the more money you get.
If your get a question wrong, you will be hated by fellow teammates! You can also bank your earnings.
At the end of each round, you can vote off a teammate, and they'll get zip! Shall we begin?
ALL: Okay...
ANNE: Questions in this round will be about Final Fantasy 9. Start the clock at 2:30.
ANNE: Steiner. What is the item that teaches Boost?
STEINER: I'd say Pumice?
ANNE: No, Pumice Piece. Eiko, what does Zidane learn from the Butterfly Sword?
EIKO: What's That?
ANNE: Correct. Garland, where is magic unusable?
GARLAND: Oelivert.
ANNE: Correct. Black Mage...
NECRON: He can't get anything right, all he can say is "Kill!".
ANNE: ...what do you do to the monsters?
BLACK MAGE: KILL!
ANNE: Oh...my...correct! Amarant, what is the name of the Prince of Burmecia?
AMARANT: Puck.
TOT: Did he say what I thought he said!
NECRON: He said **** didn't he?
EIKO: AAAAAAH! My virgin ears...
CLOUD TRIBAL: Please don't make me up the rating...
ANNE: Correct, anyway. Cid, what is the name of the card expert in Alexandria?
CID: Alleyway Jack?
ANNE: Correct! Necron, what is the site of the final battle?
NECRON: Well I should know. Specifically, Hill of Despair.
ANNE: Correct! Tot...
TOT: Bank! (Savings: 50,000 gil)
ANNE: ...why do you look like a parrot?
TOT: Is that REALLY related to FFIX?
ANNE: ...Yeeeeeeaaaaaaah...
TOT: Fine...it was a...it was a...a BIRTH DEFECT!!! (sobs)
ANNE: Uhhh...correct?
CLOUD TRIBAL: Works for me.
ANNE: Correct! Steiner, what is the name of the boss fought in Mount Gulug?
STEINER: Meltigemini?
ANNE: Correct! Eiko, what is the area where rooms are upside-down?
EIKO: Ipsen's Castle!
ANNE: Correct! Garland...
GARLAND: Bank! (Savings: 55,000 gil)
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
ANNE: Well, time is up. Now, get ready to vote.
(They vote...)
ANNE: Time is up, let's see the votes.
STEINER: ...Tot.
EIKO: ...Steiner.
GARLAND: ...Tot.
BLACK MAGE: KILL!
AMARANT: ...Tot.
CID: ...Steiner.
NECRON: ...Tot.
TOT: ...Steiner.
ANNE: Well, I see. Steiner, why did you vote for Doctor Tot?
STEINER: Who else should I have voted for?
ANNE: YOU were the weakest link.
ANNE: But it's votes that count. Tot, with 4 votes, you ARE The Weakest Link.
ANNE: Goodbye!
(Tot leaves, shamed)
Behind the set...
TOT: They'll regret that. My intellect would be useful later, and they know it!
TOT: I think Steiner will go next because he has no friends.
Back to the set...
ANNE: We'll be back!
A/N: I know it was kind of lengthy, but none of the other parts will be this long.
Anyways, you know the drill. You read, you review.