Rerun of the Archons

A/N-- YES! Yes yes yes! -dances-...-ahem-... Finally, I have gotten this up. Go me! (been trying since Friday) But, anyhow, enjoy!

Disclaimer- I own nought, verily no suing shall follow...

------------------------------

Two men in poorly-replicated period costume run through abandoned streets, cravats and tri-cornered hats flying. The man in front trips when he tries to jump off the curb, giving a good view of his black-clad butt to all and sundry.

The second man catches up and grabs his shoulders, revealing that he is Sulu! "O'Neil, darling, we can't stop here, they'll see us!"

"It's no use!" O'Neil moans, "They're everywhere!"

They back into a doorway in the middle of the block, clearly hoping that 'They' won't see them there.

Across the street, a man in a huge brown robe comes toward them, a big stick held menacingly in his hand. "I am the Dwead Piwate Woberts!" he calls in a deep voice. "Thewe will be no suwvivors!"

"The Captain gave us an order!" Sulu says, holding tightly to O'Neil's lapels. "He told us to find a Clue!"

"Forget the board games, Sir! There's another one!" O'Neil points. Sure enough, there are now three tall, hooded men in brown robes with large sticks.

Sulu desperately calls the Enterprise. "Sir, beam us up! Emergency!"

On the bridge, Kirk slouches over to Uhura, still trying to keep his big head in the shot. "Transporter room, beam up Sulu and O'Neil, immediately, they've found my game!"

Back on the Ranch, O'Neil hops over a wheelbarrow and abandons Sulu, who is rapidly being surrounded. Hoping that his tri-cornered hat and lacy cravat will protect him, Sulu stands his ground.

The first Dread Pirate Roberts impersonator waddles menacingly toward Sulu, pointing his large, brown stick at the officer's face.

Sulu suddenly gets this happy-afterglow look on his face, and the Dread Pirate Roberts retreats.

Scotty, (interrupted from his Scotch-making expedition deep within the engines) has finally gotten to the transporter room and beams Sulu up.

Kirk is waiting in the transporter room, tapping his foot impatiently. When Sulu appears, he rushes forward. "Sulu! Where's my game? Where's O'Neil?"

Sulu gives him a goofy grin. "What...Who?" he asks dreamily, still grinning.

"Lt. O'Neil! Where is he? Where's my game?! Did you make sure it has the candlestick?"

Sulu's grin fades. "You...You're not of the Body!"

Kirk looks insulted. "I beg your pardon? I most certainly am The Body! All the women and half the men from here to Orion say so!" He pouts dramatically. "Scotty, send for Dr. McCoy. I need reassurance, Sulu's damaged my Ego!" Kirk sniffles.

Scotty pages the CMO. "Dr. McCoy to transporter room, quickly!"

Sulu stares at the random Blueshirt in front of Scotty. "You! You did it!"

Kirk whips around and glares at the Blue.

"These aren't the clothes they wear!" shouts Sulu, whipping off his jacket.

At the sound of removing clothing, Kirk's head spins toward Sulu so fast he almost gets whiplash.

Much to Kirk's disappointment, Sulu doesn't take off anymore clothing, but stares up into the lights adoringly and whispers "Landru..."

Kirk scowls. Grabbing the coatless Sulu's hand, he sits down with them on the transporter's steps, holding his hand.

McCoy dashes in, ready to 'comfort' Kirk. Seeing Kirk and Sulu holding hands, McCoy is flabbergasted! "What happened?"

"They're the sweetest, friendliest people in the Universe..." Sulu enthuses dreamily. "So friendly..."

Kirk raises his eyebrows. "Friendliest, eh? Even...uh...the women? How friendly are the women?"

"Paradise..." murmurs Sulu.

McCoy and Kirk exchange looks.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Kirk sums up– "So, like, we were orbiting this planet, and like my search party came back, but only like, half of it? And Mr. Sulu's highly agitated mental condition? Like, requires that I beam down with, like, a search detail."

---------------------------------------

A/N- Just a short one, but next chapter is coming up...

Allyp