Ok I haven't been writing for a long while so please forgive me if the story isn't that good enough for you. Its OOC, But at least I tried to make the story good.
It's a songfic but with 2 parts. Natsume and Mikan's.
I hope its ok for you guys. Enjoy!
The songs that I used is from Rascal Flatts: What Hurts the Most and Alison Krauss: When You Say Nothing at All
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Can't Let You Go
POV: Natsume
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
It was late at night. Everyone was tucked into their little comfortable beds. He had no idea on how long he stayed there. Just sitting down, watching, observing and remembering the days he spent at the academy. The nights he spent and almost died whenever he went out on missions for the academy. Somehow, he knew he would miss the school, because everyone knew that tonight would be the last night they would be staying at the academy.
Tomorrow would be graduation day. The day where everyone says their goodbyes and start their own future.
He didn't care on what the future would hold for him. All he knew was that there would be one person who he would never forget.
"that stupid girl"
He couldn't help but smirk.
Mikan
Who would ever thought in anyone's wildest imagination that he would actually like… no… he shook his head. Not like…but fell for a girl like her. A girl like her.
Natsume sighed. Mikan, the clumsiest, nosiest, unladylike person he ever meet… but the only person he knew who would never give up when everyone else has. A never ending smile. Innocent. Forgiving…protects everyone she loves no mater what the consequence is…something he didn't deserve to have… that's why he had to let her go.
What hurts the most
Was being so close
He punched the ground hard.
He had to do it! He looked at what damaged he had done to his fist. Nothing much, just a tiny scratch… with some blood…but if she was with him, she'd go wild on worrying about him, even if it was a tiny scratch.
Flashbacks
He had just finished a mission for the academy, and somehow he wasn't able to doge an attack, thus he got cut slightly on his side near the stomach.
"Natsume!"
"Baka! What are you doing up late at night? You should be sleeping" as he tried to walk past her.
"Shut up Natsume! Its so obvious that you have a wound. That's why I brought some first aid kit!" as she showed him the box with pride.
They sat down for awhile and she started to dress up his wounds. He looked at her and saw that she was dead serious with his wound. He lean backed and closed his eyes. After a few minutes suddenly he felt something wet. There it goes again. Was it drizzling? He opened his eyes and saw that the sky was shimmering with stars so it was impossible that it was raindrops. He looked down at Mikan. She was finally done. But she was just silent. Looking at her creation. The bandage that she done.
"Nani? Its not a big deal. Im glad that when it comes to bandaging a person your not clumsy unlike yesterday when you slipped down—" I wasn't able to finish my sentence, because Mikan suddenly embraced me and the water that I felt was from her tears.
"Baka! Baka! Baka! Natsume" She pounded her fist towards my chest. It wasn't hard. "Baka! Baka! Baka!.. I don't know what I'll do with out you Natsume" She then went perfectly still. I embraced her…hard.
"Im sorry for scaring you…but you know I have to do this. Please don't cry. And stop hugging me it hurts!"
She suddenly let go of me. Smiled.
"Just be careful next time!" She got up on her feet, took her medicine box and started walking back to school and up to her dorm, which I would always make sure every night before I go to bed that she's safe in her room. I saw her open her door and started to head towards my room.
"Natsume…"
It was just a whisper, but I heard her. I didn't look back but I just stopped.
"what is it baka"
"sometimes I just wonder how we lasted 3 years, you being my boyfriend"
I turned around to look at her. She was smiling. I smiled back at her.
"Go to bed Mikan."
End flashback
Those were the moments he would treasure. Moments when they were arguing, talking, hanging out or just sitting down at this spot. Not talking at all. She was the only girl where he felt comfortable. Where he felt safe. But he had to protect her.
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
He heard some sounds close by, so he got up and hide for awhile to see who was approaching. It only took a few seconds to find out.
"Mikan"
He watched her very moments. She was alone. She was heading to their tree. The tree that witnessed every fight they had, laughter's, tears and sorrow. She just stood there. Looking.
He never understood why… why he would fall for her and why that his decision made him feel like he wanted to jump out of this very spot and tell her that he never ment what he said.
"Why…why Natsume?" with that she ran away.
Flashback
"Why Natsume?? What did I do wrong?"
"Baka, can't you see, I thought I loved you but I was wrong. I finally realized that Ruka was just spending time with you and I felt jealous that he would no longer be my friend."
"Your lying!! Your never good at lying Natsume!"
"Whatever. Its true. Ruka was always by my side before you came into the picture. Now I understand. Sure I had fun with you even though your so clumsy and forgetful. But now, I'm just bored. So get a life baka, cause your sure annoying me."
"baka! Baka! Baka! Your just going to throw away our 3 years –"
"Oh you mean its been 3 years?? Gosh I felt as if it was just a normal day with you. Like hell week"
"…I see…so it was nothing to you…everything was useless…"
"something like that"
"goodbye…I hate you Natsume"
End flashback
He would never forget that moment. The moment where he broke her heart. He hated everything he said that night. He wanted to run after her when he heard her say those final words. He wanted so much to say to her. The truth, but he just couldn't.
It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
He left the place where he was hiding and went to the spot where Mikan stood. Since that fateful night 3 months ago, both of them have been trying to avoid each other. Even the whole school knew that never to mention their names. Sure they have classes together, but he knew she was trying to avoid looking at him. But one thing he knew… Hotaru was mad at him. She made sure that as Mikan's bestfriend, if Mikan did not want to go on hate mode with him, she would take over. She would never hesitate to take her bazooka gun and aim it at him. He even got the bruises for proff. But deserved it. For hurting Mikan. He wished that it was Mikan doing it, but she didn't… everyone hated me because Mikan changed. She was more silent. She smiled little. She went out rarely. Everyone was worried about her. And that made him want to shake her madly and ask her what the goddamn do you think your doing? Changing! But he eventually was able to stop himself when he saw Ruka approach her.
Since that day, Mikan started to slowly become her usual self. She started to date. And that ticked him off. BADLY.
He wanted to blow up and destroy every person she went out with. He felt that none of them was worth having her!
Flashbacks
"Natsume…"
"Nani?"
"They guy that…he was sent to the hospital because of severe burns."
"Ruka, maybe he got sunburned or he has sensitive skin"
"Its snowing…"
"Well there's your answer Ruka, he didn't know how to light up his own chimney… besides his in college and is to old for her and –"
"its not up to you who she deserves to be with…"
"What do you mean?"
"Natsume…you know who she belongs too."
End flashback
She belongs to me.
He looks from afar and sees that there is still one room that has light. Mikan's...
Was he really going to waste everything he had.
Was he just going to give up and let go of her?
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
This is why he didn't want someone to care about.
This is why he wanted no one in his life.
Natsume started to walk.
This is why I loved being alone.
He started to walk a little faster.
This is why he never showed his true self to anyone.
His walk started to become a jog.
Because…
Because….
because….
His jog became running.
The truth was…
He couldn't let her go…
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There. Done with the first part. Hope you enjoyed it. Now im off to do Mikan's POV. There it would find out why Natsume had to leave her… and of course how the story ends. pls review. Ohh, flamers are allowed. Helps me know what to fix. Criticism is ok, but pls pls not to harsh. Thank you.