Chapter 4

Past life revealed

Disclaimer : I do not own CardCaptor Sakura. Never have and never will.

Sakura spent a lot of time in her shower. She spent her time in the hot spray of water trying to sort out her feelings. For Yue to kiss her like that was...unbeliveable. Magnificent but unbelieveable all the same. They were friends, family.

"He's off limits Sakura. Get a grip on your hormones girl." She told herself firmly. But just the thought of his arms around her, his lips on hers was enough to push those thoughts out her mind. "Friends." She repeated to herself, glaring at the faint outline of herself in the glass stall. When she was young she had made a promise to herself. She would never sleep with anyone unless she was sure that she truely loved them and that they truely loved her back. Thinking of Yue was enough to know that she would probably break that promise to herself. 'I must be ovulating' She thought. It was the only rational explanation she could come up with. Just avoid Yue for a couple day at the most and than her hormones would sink back to appropriate friend levels. She frowned knowing there was more to it than that but was tired of arguing with herself.

Stepping out of her shower she toweled off and slipped on some pajamas and headed downstairs to find herself a snack since she slept through her dinner. Finding some pasta from the night before she popped it into the microwave and sat down at the table with her dish, flipping through some of the books her and Yue had bought while shopping. When she was finished eating she tossed her bowl in the sink and went into the living room. She was still wound up from her encounter with Yue. Finding something boring on tv should be able to relax her enough to sleep. Finding some boring nature show she had seen a million times she sat back and watched. She didnt even realize she had doozed off until the dreams started.

Sakura saw herself back with Yue and Clow Reed. She saw that her and Yue had become close friends, spending much time together. Often times at his place. Clow Reed found Sakura to be a delightful young women who brought out the best in Yue. Many times she ended spending the night at their place. Clow always made sure there was a room made up for her. One thing she noticed was that Clow kept close watch on her and Yue. She knew he was making sure her virtue remain intact as was expected of her till marriage. Even dreaming Sakura found it amusing.

One day, Yue had taken her out on a picnic in the country side. Even though he did not eat he had prepared the food himself and Sakura delighted in the taste of it. Finally sated she lay back, taking the view of the sky. The sun was setting, casting pretty pastel shades of pink, orange and red across the sky. The first stars were poking out of the colour into view.

"I could stay here forever." She sighed happily. Yue gave her a small smile before glancing up at the sky to see what she could see. "You could you realize?" He asked softly. Beside him Sakura laughed softly.

"Nobody lives forever Yue." She said playfully. Yue did not smile but looked at her seriously.

"Sakura...some people DO live forever." He said slowly. When Sakura looked at him, clearly confused he sighed. "My master, Clow Reed. He is a magician. He has very powerful magics. So powerful he could live forever. He also created myself and Kero with the ability to live forever so long as we have magical energies to sustain us. There are very special peopel in the world, very rare people who posses power like this." He hesitates slightly before continuing. "We believe you posses such power Sakura. Yours appear to be buried deep within you but it is there none the less. We believe with the right training you could tap into it and live forever." He explained.

Sakura stayed silent for a long time taking it in slowly. "So I have magic? How come nothing has ever happened to me? How come I cant use it?" She asked slowly.

"Yours as I said seems to be buried inside you. Pure untapped energy. But your biggest shield has been ingnorance to its existance. But you could not have known it was there. Few people realize it themselves. Clow is willing to train you, teach you how to tap into this power and harness it for yourself. But he does not make this offer lightly. Should you take his training, you will be taught a set of rules and you must obey them or else you spread destruction." Yue explianed firmly. Sakura remained in silence so long thinking Yue began to wonder if she was sleeping. Finally she spoke, softly.

"I'll take this training. I dont want to settle for less of myself than I have to. I only have one life. I may as well make the most of it." She said opening her green eyes to meet Yue's. He smiles at her softly.

"There was another thing I wanted to ask you as well. Due to the fact that your parents are gone, and your brother is not in the country this will have to be done outside the tradtions of your people." He said. Sakura looked at him curiously wondering what on earth he was talking about. "I could not consult your family but I have since learned the date and hour of which you were born through out conversations. I asked the local fortune teller about it. I used to date and hour I was created as my birth. We are a compatable match for marriage." He explained watching the wonder and joy leap across her face. "I brought no gifts, money or goods as they would be for your family and you have none here for me to ask for your hand." He added quickly. "All I can ask is if you will consent to be my wife?"

Sakura looked up at Yue in pure joy. Sitting up she gave him a hug. "Of course I will marry you Yue." She said softly, a tear running down her cheek. Yue tenderly wiped away her tear and kissed her back he held her close as they watched the stars come out one by one. When the air became to chilly they packed up everything and headed back to the mansion.

Sakura awoke to the sound of an overly loud and annoying commercial. Glaring at the tv she found the remote and switched it off. Yawning she headed upstairs wonderin about her dream. She knew now that these were not ordinary dreams. She suspected what they were but she would call about that later. Going into her room and closing the door she flopped into her bed, almost asleep the second her head hit the pillow.

There appeared to be a time lapse between this dream and the last one. She was getting ready on the morning of her wedding. First she was bathed at dawn with cleansing ingrediants added, as they were thought to cleanse her of evil spirits. She enjoyed the hot water and fruity smells coming from the water. Next her hair was being brushed and done for her big day. Before she knew it she was being dressed in her red wedding outfit. Completeling the rituals within the bride's home were seen to before waiting for Yue to arrive to get her.

Once rituals were done, Yue had arrived to fetch his bride. Sakura could feel excitment bubbling in stomach, giving her the common feeling of butterflies at the sight of them. Sakura took her place in the tradional Sedan chair that bore her to Yue's at Yue's home traditions were seen to there before being pronounced as husband and wife. Once married they were led to their new bedroom in the east wing of the mansion. Clow had given them the entire wing to live in. The bed had been installed the day before and children had been allowed to play in it to encourage fertility. Also red dates, oranges, lotus seeds, peanuts and pomegranates had been spread out in the bed for the children also to encourage fertility. Sakura, knowing full well the traditions of the marriage bed blushed innocently as she saw the massive, comfy looking bed. Yue noticed the blush but choose to say nothing. He removed his red wedding clothing and approached his new wife.

"Sakura...you dont have to tonight if you'd rather wait" He said hoping to ease her nervousness. She blushed but looked up at him and smiled.

"No I want to. Every girl dreams about her wedding and wedding night." She said, deepening her blush. Yue smiled and pulled her in for a tender kiss. Sakura savoured the kiss befween them, loving the feel of his lips on hers. She could feel his hands carressing her back and before she knew if they had worked there way into her clothing to find soft skin. She sighed into the kiss, she didnt remember Yue removing her clothing but she really didnt care at this point. Lower his body he sank down slightly at the knees and picked her up by the waist, so she could wrap her legs around him. Making his way over to their bed he carefully lay her down on her back before covering her body with his own.

Sakura awoke gasping and covered with a fine sheet of sweat. Her limbs trembled slightly. The dream was so real her body had reacted to it of its own accord. She touched her lips softly remembering how it felt to have Yue kiss her like that. She could feel the ache of need from the center of her body and let out a soft, frustrated groan. Going to the open window she let the cool night air cirle her body, cooling it, cooling the fires of need within her. Once calmed and thinking clearly she picked up the phone. She glanced at her clock and realized it was about 3am.

'Oh well.' She thought. 'England is eight hours behind us. So its only...7pm there..." She picked up the phone and dialed Eriol's number. Even just hearing his voice calmed her some more. She would finally get some answers.

"Eriol I need your help on something." She said after exchanging pleasentries with him. She could almost hear the smirk in his voice as she said this. "How do you know if you've had a past life? How do the experiences come back?" She asked.

"Its different for everyone Sakura. I fall into trances when I experience mine. They are...sometimes quite unexpected. Usually something triggers them." He explained. She sighed in frustration.

"What about dreams? Can you get them with dreams? How much do you remember of Clow's life?" She asked.

"Sakura, this is a complex cannot just dive into the middle of it and expect to understand everything." He began but when Sakura snapped at him he realized how serious she was for she -never- snapped like that. "Have you been having something like this?" He asked.

"Yes. Dreams. Very vivid ones. They stick with me like the premonitions do. Thats the clarity of them. I remember everyting. Every word, every feeling..." She trailed off.

"What have you seen Sakura" Eriol asked carefully.

"I...married Yue." She said softly. Eriol sighed.

"I remember something vaguely about that but nothing big. I remember when Yue told Clow you had accepted his proposal. Thats it. If you want more information you have to speak to Yue or Kero. But it may be best to remember on your own. Don't be too impatient Sakura. These things take time and happen for a reason. It will come to you when its supposed to." He said. They talked for a little while longer about unimportant things before hanging up.

As she set the phone down she realize how much better she felt after talking to Eriol. At least he didnt think she was crazy. She sighed and sat on the edge of her bed watching Natsuki sleep soundly. Lost in thought she pondered. If she had married Yue in her past life...why the hell was he so distant with her now? Shouldn't he have been happy to see her? Not many people get a second chance. An even more disturbing thought crept into her mind, what if he wasn't happy to see her cause he never really loved her? Sakura glanced around her room, looking in the direction she could feel his aura. Maybe they had split up? Maybe he only married her cause he felt it was proper. Maybe Clow Reed was pushing for it so he did it to please his master.

"But he looked so happy..." She murmured to herself as a tear slipped down her cheek. She put her head in her hands and quietly sobbed, so terribly confused.

Yue had been walking by when he happened to hear the slight sounds of Sakura crying in her room. He wanted so very much to see what was wrong but the second his hand touched the door knob he knew seeing her again, so soon after their encounter the night before, would be very bad. He let go of the doorknob and continued on his way downstairs to her father's library.

Sitting in the corner he prefered he tried to focus on the pages of the book in front of him. Sakura's face kept dancing before his eyes though, distracting him. Reminding him of the night before. Fanning the flames of desire in him. Slamming the book shut he leaned over, placing his hands on his knees and glaring down at the rising bulge in his pants.

"You can't do that to her again. She died once because of you. She wont die again because of your weakness." He told himself firmly. Just thinking of her death, and the death of another even more precious person was enough to banish the desire within him. Massaging his temples he slowly put all the emotional pieces back into place behind his calm, cool mask. Opening his book he began to read.

Once Sakura finished her crying she checked on Natsuki. Thankfully the baby seemed capable of sleeping through a hurricaine. Unable to wait Sakura grabbed Kero out of his little room, covering his mouth as she did so he wouldn't wake the baby. Hauling him out the door and outside in the backyard she sat him carefully on one of the outdoor chairs.

"What's the meaning of such a rude wake up call?" He said, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and yawning.

"Kero, I need some answers now. I know something is going on. And I know that you know what it is." She said. Kero gave her a big, fake smile.

"Its nothing Sakura. Just a little Deja vu." He said. Sakura glared at him, obviously not buying it.

"Spill Kero. I know I had a past life. And I know I married Yue. What else is going on?" She said firmly. Kero's grin fell and his little shoulders sagged.

"Sakura...thats a long story. A very long, sad story. Yes you and Yue married. Things didn't work out. Some bad things happened. He blames himself for you dying but it wasn't his fault." He said slowly. Sakura took that in for a moment.

"When you say things didnt work out do you mean with us? We couldn't make it work? Did we not love each other?" She asked clearly upset. Kero shook his head.

"It wasn't that you didn't love each other. You loved each other very much. Some bad people came after Clow. You got caught in the crossfire. Clow and Yue tried to save you but...they didn't get there in time." He said staring at the ground. "Please Sakura, I dont want to talk about this anymore. If your memories are coming back you'll soon see what happened. It will explain a lot about why Yue is the way he is today." Sakura stopped questioning him. She had never really seen him upset like this. She put on a small smile.

"Thanks Kero. I just wanted to have someone confirm this. Eriol doesn't remember a whole lot. I was starting to think maybe I really did dream everything up." She said with her small smile. Kero smiled in return.

"Nah kiddo you're not crazy." He said, grinning. "Although there is debate that magic users are a little crazy." He added giggling at the look of indignation on Sakura's face. She swatted him playfully before turning serious again.

"So...what should I do about Yue? Things are awkward right now." She said thinking of the previous night. A soft blush rose to her cheeks just remembering his hands on her.

"Take it slow Sakura. Yue suffered a lot when he lost you. I don't think he's ever really gotten over it. He'll need his space. He does think that by staying away from you he'll keep history from repeating itself. He says it'll happen eventually. He's just being stubborn if you ask me." He huffed. Sakura had to laugh.

"If there is one thing Yue is good at, it's being stubborn." She admitted. "And quiet but than again you talk enough for the both of you." She teased. Kero just stared at her for a moment than turned away.

"I'll let that comment slide cause you're going to bake me a cake." He said before flying away, grinning. Sakura sighed and headed into the kitchen.

"If I don't bake that stupid cake I'll never hear the end of it." She groaned. Pulling down ingrediants for cake she notice the sun was just starting to come up on the horizon. Good she had time to make the cake and than maybe catch a short nap before Natsuki got up. She seemed to sleep in every morning.

Yue sat in the basement reading when the sounds of cooking made its way down to the basement. He shook his head. Kero had talked her into cooking for him. That greedy little squeek toy. Sighing he marked his page and headed upstairs, feeling in control enough to face Sakura.

Sakura was up in the kitchen, elbow deep in cake batter when she heard a wail from upstairs. She groaned and looked down at the unfinished cake mix.

"She always sleeps in? Why is she awake now?" She groaned loudly. Yue smirked as he watched her from behind.

"She is awake because you banked on her sleeping in. Babies are known for that." He said watching as Sakura shrieked in surprise and turned around. "Good morning Sakura. I will get Natsuki for you since you are indisposed." He turned around and headed upstairs to get the baby.

Upon entering Sakura's room Yue noted how Kero was laying in bed with his little pillow over his head to drown out the noise. He frowned at the useless guardian. Yanking the pillow off his head he glared at the toy. "Would it kill you to contribute around here? Sakura is busy making a cake for your greedy gut and you can't keep the baby occupied for her?" He said cooly to Kero. The little guardian shrugged.

"I figured I should leave it to you mister pro daddy." He said earning an icy glare from the moon guardian. He slunk back into bed as Yue picked up Natsuki and took her downstairs. By the time he got downstairs Sakura had finished mixing the batter and began pouring it into cake pans. Yue sat Natsuki in her high chair and began readying the baby's breakfast. As he searched the counter for the clean and dry baby bottle he realize Sakura must have the dishes away before starting the cake. As he leaned over her to reach the cupboard over her he couldn't help but take in the scent of her hair.

Sakura froze as she felt Yue's face brush against her hair. Taking a step back she colided with him and felt his arm snake around her waist, drawing her against his firm chest. As much as she wanted to turn around she remembered Kero's warning about taking things slowly. She just leaned her head back against his shoulder and enjoyed the feeling of being held by him. Yue was quite content to stay like that but a sudden and very loud wail reminded him that he was enjoying this moment at someone else's expense. Smirking he grabbed the bottle and made some formula and infant cereal for Natsuki. Sitting in front her he began to shovel cereal into the baby's mouth.

"Jeez you'd think we starve her with the way she's eating." Sakura remarked as she cleaned up the dishes from making her cake. Yue allowed a small smirk.

"Infants have no patience. And most only cry when they experience hunger pains." He said in a matter of fact tone. Sakura once more looked surprised at his knowledge with infants but kept quiet and once more pondered his experience with children. She quietly finished cleaning the kitchen than sat down beside Yue while he continued to feed Natsuki.

"Yue..." She began unsure if she should even be saying anything at all. Decided to try and see where it got her she plowed on ahead. "I know about us. Us in the past I mean. I know we were married." She said slowly watching his face. She saw a brief look of shock before it was carefully concealed behind his cool mask.

"Did Kero open his big mouth?" He asked. Although he showed no feelings Sakura felt anger in him. This sudden anger had such a dark quality about it that it frightened her. Swallowing hard she shook her head.

"Kero only confirmed what I had been dreaming was true. I keep seeing flashes. Last night I dreamed of our wedding. I saw it all. I saw it was if it had happened yesterday." She whispered hoarsly, her voice suddenly caught in her throat. She could feel the sting her eyes and tried to keep from crying. "I need to know Yue. I need to know about us and who better to ask than you." She added. Yue took so long replying that she looked up to make sure he had even heard her. She could see his jaw clenching angrily as he fed the baby.

"Sakura...I...cannot let the past become the present. It cannot happen." He said finally. Finishing with Natsuki he took the bottle and dish to the sink and came back to fetch the baby. Leaving Sakura in the kitchen he headed up to put Natsuki in her bed. It was early and she seemed ready to go back down. After laying her down in the crib and covering her up warmly he headed into his room.

Sakura watched him leave feeling despair creep up on her. Tears vanished from her eyes and stubborn determination replaced it. Marching upstairs she stormed into his room, closing the door behind her. "I'm not leaving until I get some answers Yue. I can order you to tell me but I would rather not." She said watching as he stood looking out his window, his back to her.

"Yes we were married. We lived together in Clow's mansion for almost 2 years completely happy. Times were good. Clow had enough that you were easily provided for. Clow and Kero welcomed you into our family. They adored you. Just when I thought I couldn't love you more than I already did something happened to change that. Eight months after the wedding we found out you were pregnant. We were not even sure we could have children. Clow had not taken that into consideration when he made me so it was truely a cause for celebration." He said softly. His voice was low and contained many repressed feelings in it. Sakura reached out and took his hand in comfort, her fingers laced in between his. She heard him sigh deeply. "Nine months later you gave birth. We had a daughter. We chose the name Megumi which means blessing. She was our blessing in our life. She was our everything." Again Sakura heard the small break in his voice. When he didnt continue came closer to him.

"You could have it again you know." She said softly. She was not prepared for him to turn on her in anguish.

"You dont understand Sakura. It was my fault you died!" He said loudly as he gripped her arms tightly. "You should hate me Sakura. If only you knew." Sakura, instead of trying to pull away took a step closer to him, hugging him around the waist and laying her head on his chest.

"But I dont. Tell me when happened." She said softly with dread in her heart.

"When Natsuki was 5 months old she came. Eri. She wanted power. She was different from others though. She absorbed the person and their power. She wanted to take you and Clow. The cards were easily over powered. She was so strong. You and I had been sitting on the mansion roof with Megumi when the attack came. We tried to keep her away from you, to at least give you time to escape with Megumi. She was to strong and fast. We did everything we could. Those creatures that attack us for Natsuki, she can create them of her own flesh. She sent them after you. You ran across the roof in an attempt to get away, Clow had the float card waiting for you at the other end. Clow was fighting from the ground. Kero and I were airborne, trying to take her down." He paused, Sakura could feel tremors going through his body. She held him tightly ignoring the tears running down her cheeks. "I dont know what happened I was so busy fighting but next thing I heard you scream. I tried to get to you but those creatures she creates got to you first. It took you inside of it, leaving only your face uncovered so I could hear you scream. I tried my hardest to get to you but I was too late." She felt his shoulders sag.

"Yue, what happened to Megumi?" She asked fearfully, her stomach knotted tightly. He turned away from her in shame. She caught sight of tears streaking his face. "Yue? What happened to our daughter?" She cried out loudly, fearing the answer.

"You held her in your arms. You did not live through the encounter. And neither did she." He whispered brokenly. Sakura backed away from him, tears pouring down her cheeks. Backing into the door she grasped at the knob and tore out of the room, sobbing. Yue watched her tear out of house running. He did not even think she could see where she was going but he would have ran to if he had just been told what she had. He slowly and silently made his way into her room, sitting on her bed so as to keep watch over Natsuki while Sakura was gone. Kero floated over and sat on his knee.

"You did the right thing Yue. She had a right to know." He said softly. Yue didnt respond. He just kept his head bowed and ignored the little sun guardian.

A/N: So sorry for the long time between posts. Finally getting this story back on track. I am sorry for any spelling errors or grammer errors. I have had my computer wiped and do not have a program that has spell checking any more. Working on getting one right now but it might take some time. I also did a tiny bit of research into ancient chinese weddings but since I do not know when Clow Reed apparently lived it was really hard to date. I choose the warring states era. Also wedding traditions in that time were different accoding to social status, place where they lived and so on. The internet even said tradtions were known to vary between villages. So if my information is fautly I am sorry. I also googled the name meaning for Megumi's name so once again if it is wrong I am sorry for this. I do not speak Japanese so I can only go by what translator sights and such tell me. Please review and be constructive if you dont like :)