Forever Finds the Falling Snow

Lesley Hall

Drake peered through one of the large windows of the tower. He saw her sitting on the ledge overlooking the bay; her long red hair extended from her dark green sock hat. Drake smiled and walked out into the winter wind. It was raw, that wind. He looked up into the dark night sky and snowflakes fell to greet him.

Gosalyn look over her right shoulder when she heard him. He walked down the length of the ledge separating them and took a seat beside her. He had on a long black coat that whipped a little at the tail as he sat; he fit the hero image so perfectly.

"Dad," Gosalyn allowed him to sit and pulled at the lapels of his coat in an attempt to wrap it closer to his neck. "You shouldn't be out in the cold like this."

Drake took her gloved hands in his. "Funny, I was about to tell you the same thing."

He watched her watch him as she allowed him to remove her hands from his coat. She submitted and scooted closer to him. He wrapped his arm around her. She could smell his light cologne and it reminded her of how safe she always felt around him. She still felt safe, even now, even when he was even thinner than before, even when he wasn't as strong as he should be. She felt safe, and she always would with him and never would without him.

They both watched the water for some time. Snow fell onto the glistening waters in a majestic silence that was both riveting and heart-wrenching to lay the eyes upon. Drake turned a little to his right and watched the outline of the city. He didn't want to look anymore and turned away.

The silence was starting to eat at Drake's nerves. For the past few months he had kept himself as busy as possible to ward off the impeding reality that seemed to catch up to him in silence. With silence came death, came mortality.

"You really should get back to the house, kiddo. Everybody's missing you."

Her head had found its favorite position on his left shoulder. It wouldn't budge and she never questioned her head's intentions.

She didn't reply and Drake didn't want to hear the silence. "You know, Launchpad's sister is just starting to get used to Morgana's cobra cutlets." He gave a small laugh, "Honker had to pry one off of her whenever it latched onto her arm. Good thing Morg de-fanged them or else she would have had a hell of a lot more to scream about."

He gave her a small nudge and she forced a grunt. Drake continued to hold her and sighed inwardly.

More silence came and he felt himself starting to get antsy again. He could also feel her breathing; he knew she was close to tears. Please, please don't…

"Gos, don't damper your Christmas spirit. You've been looking forward to getting out of the dorms for months. Right? Sleeping all day, having turkey…" He kissed her forehead and she closed her eyes to abate the tears.

"…Binkie's sugar cookies."

She swallowed and felt a lump lodge in her throat.

"Dad, this is the last Christmas I'm going to get to spend with you, isn't it?" She had to force herself to look into his eyes. He looked at her, his face was calm.

He waited for a moment, "Gos,"

She shook her head. "No, Dad, please…" Her gloved hand met his face.

"Don't be eloquent. Don't be suave. Don't try to avoid it. Just be honest." Her emerald eyes were misty and the words he had planned to say died.

His baby blues lowered. He felt her hand on his face.

"Probably will be." He replied quietly.

Gosalyn's head fell to one side and she could feel her chest getting tight. She hated it, she hated this. She could lose her parents over again. She could even lose her grandfather again if she had to choose. But she couldn't lose him, she couldn't lose Drake.

Her body quaked a little and Drake blinked away his own tears. "Gosalyn, honey…"

She closed her eyes and shook her head. Her hand fell from his face onto his lap, onto his hand. He squeezed hers and her face buried onto his chest. She didn't want to part from him. She had to keep touching him. She couldn't let go.

His arms fell around her and she wept onto his coat. Drake closed his eyes and clamped his jaw together. His teeth were chattering.

"I…I wish I hadn't even asked that." He heard her whimper. She sat back up and with a free hand wiped her eyes.

He watched her. "Baby, you know the truth. Let's try not to let it ruin this holiday, okay?"

His face was pained and she knew it was because she was so upset. She wanted desperately to forget about it, to push it out of her mind for a couple of days. But she couldn't. Damnit, she couldn't ignore the fact that this was the last Christmas she was going to get to spend with her daddy.

"Gos, I'm sick. And I know it's been on your mind a lot…"

"Ha, understatement of the year." She returned. He gave a small smile.

"…and I would want to tell you that I don't want that, but I've got to be honest, I'm happy. I'm happy someone is thinking about me." Her eyes met his and he gave that half smile that always melted her heart.

"Dad, you listen to me…" She sniffed. It was so hard when she cried. "You are always on my mind. And…and I don't want you to forget it." She could no longer talk and it was her father's turn to wipe her tears away.

"Sweet heart, I know that. And throughout this, you're all that is on my mind." He looked out at the snowy landscape beyond him. "And I guess this is the best time. You, you're almost grown up. You'll finish college soon, you and Honker are engaged, and you've turned out so perfect…"

"Dad, I'm not finished yet. I...I still need you…" Her lip was quivering and Drake felt his eyes watering. He promised himself he was finished crying over this mess. He was leaving Gosalyn financially secure, educated, and almost grown. He was okay to leave…he had to be…

"Gos, baby, you'll be okay without me. I promise that." He wiped another tear from her rosy cheek with his thumb. Her cheeks always got rosy whenever she was out in the cold too long. It was how he knew it was time to get her inside when they would go build snowmen in the front yard.

"No, dad…" She whimpered.

"You're going to have to be strong, kiddo…"

She shook her head. She was crying so hard. She looked so utterly devastated and it was killing him worse than any sickness could.

She fell into his arms again weeping. Her body shook; she squeezed him like she couldn't get close enough to him. The snow fell onto her dark brown coat.

This was not how it was supposed to happen. He didn't want it to end this way. He had always envisioned himself dying instantly as he was saving the world. Not like this. He was receding into death and he felt like he was taking his daughter along with him. It wasn't fair; hadn't he proven himself worthy of that? Of an abrupt death that would unleash a harmful wrath upon everyone and then it would be done? Would it ever be done?

The harder he hugged her the harder she cried. He felt his chest heave and fought maddeningly to keep himself composed.

"Gosalyn…you…you're going to have to be strong." He leaned back and raised her face up to his with his hand.

She shook her head as he nodded his. He gave a small laugh through his tears. "God you're so stubborn…"

"I'm not gonna do it. I...I can't do it…"

"Yes you can. You hear me? Look how far you've come in your life, Gosalyn. You've gone so far and done so much. And all on your own, too. You've had to pick yourself up and keep on. This will be just like before, okay?"

"No!" She sniffled as she sat up. She continued to hold his hands. He watched her ditheringly. He looked as if whatever she said next, if it wasn't something light, would surely kill him right there.

"Dad, this is NOT like the other times. Okay? Do you hear me? This is not like those times because they weren't YOU. They weren't my daddy…" She shook her head.

Drake could feel the tears falling, even pattering as they hit his coat. "But you've come so far,"

"Yeah, but I've done what I've done with my life BECAUSE of you, not despite you." She bit her lower lip and studied his face. He looked more worn than he was a few months ago, back when they first found out. Back before he had become so understanding with the thought of his mortality. He looked aged, but not to any alarming degree. He was still as handsome as she had always known him. His eyes were still striking, and because they were glistening it made her want to trap them in that moment forever.

"Dad, I…I wish I could make time stand still." Her voice was tight with a need to defy logic and plea for something impossible. "I would, right here, right now. I would just freeze me and you here forever. If it meant that I could keep my daddy, I would do it…" Drake smiled his half smile and clasped her face in his hands.

"I would do it, daddy…I…I'm not kidding."

He laughed at her. "You…you sound like it's a threat."

"Give me the first opportunity at it and I would do it."

"Gos, baby, you're going to have to move on. You can go on without me, you're going to have to. You have got to be strong."

"I don't wanna be strong…" Her face was so red, and the tears were making her cheeks look sunburned. "I just want my dad."

Drake had to let her face go to wipe his eyes. His daughter was becoming a blur. He clenched his teeth together to prevent an all out cry. He couldn't cry in front her like that. He couldn't remember the last time he cried.

It was her turn to brush his tears away. He took in a ragged breath. It was so cold. The air stabbed his lungs. He was telling himself to stay composed. She was a mess, he had to be the parent, even if it meant just this last time.

"Dad, I've got to tell you something that I have always wanted to tell you."

His eyes were focused away from her. She forced them back. She studied them for a moment to make sure she had his attention. God, she was beautiful. She was the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen.

"Everything that has been good in my life, everything that I've ever done to make you proud, and everything that I will ever do…" Her voice broke again. "It was because of you…" He shook his head as she nodded. "Yes…yes, dad…yes…God, now you're being the stubborn one."

She slid her arms around his neck and her eyes never lost focus. "And all the strength I have is because of you. You think that I'm old enough to be okay on my own but I will never be old enough for that. I'll be a little old lady sitting around the fire with my grandchildren and I'll still want my daddy right there."

Their breaths came out in white puffs, alive, as the snow fell. She kept her arms around his neck and wouldn't unlock her gaze.

"So when you…you go, you go knowing that there never has been a good time nor will there ever be a good time for you to leave me. And that I am keeping you with me. You're my dad, Drake Mallard. And you're just stuck with that for the rest of eternity."

Drake's breaths were shaky. He squeezed his eyes shut. "Gosalyn, you know that it is you who is my destiny, right? You knew that, didn't you? It wasn't Darkwing Duck. It was you, and I've known that forever and I…I want you to remember that…" His voice broke.

She moved her head in and their foreheads touched. She closed her eyes and relished his head being against hers. She felt his hands on her face again and the snow wasn't so cold, the night wasn't so raw.

"I know, dad."

"And I know that you know I love you. God, I love you." He opened his eyes and watched her breath flow out of her quivering lips.

"I know dad."

Silence fell around them and for the first time in months Drake felt at peace. His mortality was slowly passing over him, but his immortality was sitting right in front of him, holding him, pressing her forehead against his. His entire life was consumed by this one being, and the option of death fell away from him with the snow.

The world swirled around these two, this father and his daughter. The father slid his arms around her body and the daughter kept her arms around his neck. They stayed there for a long time in mortal terms, and forever in the immortal.

Drake felt her nuzzle against his face and kiss his cheek. She met his eyes once more and whispered to him.

"If I could freeze time, daddy, and for the rest of eternity it could be just me and you…out here…would you stay with me?" Her emerald eyes looked like gems. He could see his reflection in them, and it was wonderful.

"You know what?" His gaze never faltered because he had never felt more alive before in his entire life. "Gos, baby, I think you have."

Copyright Lesley Hall 12/02/2006. Drake, Gosalyn, and all references are copyright Disney and are used for entertainment purposes only.