I have finally update! Yes, after what seem like an eternity, this slow writer has finally update. I want to thank all those who had reviewed the last time, I can't tell you how much I appreciates them. Internet cookies and an endless amount of thanks to my wonderful beta, Kyakya 991, I could never say enough. I know it has been a long time since I last update and some of you might not even remembered this story but I have been busy with school and I have been hooked on the band wagon commonly known as The Bleach Rock Musical. Alright, enough for now, I don't own Naruto, bla bla bla. Have a nice read!
He blamed the weather, the heat wave. The hot air was causing his mind to hallucinate and his eyes to play tricks on him. Many villagers have fainted from the overwhelming heat and some have even landed in the hospital, including Kiba's dog, Akamaru. But Hyuuga Neji was above that, some stupid heat wave could never do him in. In the end, he settled the blame on the eight years of separation, because as similar as that voice was, the woman standing before him was not his Tenten.
His Tenten smiled brightly, her eyes filled with a happiness he couldn't comprehend. His Tenten greeted people with laughter, her voice rich with joy. His Tenten scowled at her teammates in annoyance but, always with a smile, and most importantly, his Tenten has emotions.
He didn't greet her, merely continued to stare at her in disbelief. Her soft brown hair were no longer in buns, instead, they cascaded freely down her back, ending just below her waist. The dark colors of her uniform were a contrast to the color of her eyes, hiding the once smiling eyes behind a dull sandy expression. Nothing shown in her once soft brown eyes, no laughter, no sadness, not even surprise, he couldn't read anything.
He didn't know what he had expected to see, wanted to see. Perhaps, he was looking for a reflection of the girl he once knew. To see the smile, to feel the normal comforting gesture, to hear the laughter that used to surface so easily. None of these things greeted him when his gaze finally found hers. His eyes narrowed, this woman was an impostor. He realized it was a ridicules thought the moment his mind formed it but there could be no other explanation.
Naruto stared in horror as he watched Neji activated his Byakugan. What was he doing? It was as if Neji was bracing himself for a fight. Naruto was just about to step in when Neji slightly frowned and then deactivated his Byakugan, his eyes returning them to normal.
There were no signs of altered or differences of chakra. It was truly her. This woman before him was Tenten. But even as he convinced himself that it was perfectly normal for people to change, he still didn't expect his Tenten to have changed.
His. A sad smile graced his lips, she was no longer his. She was no longer team 8's and no longer Konoha's. For heaven's sake, he mentally cursed himself. She came here for a peace treaty with Konoha as a representative from Spring, not the other way around. But the realization that she was no longer his, was never his to begin with did nothing to stop him from wanting to see a girl with soft brown buns instead of the smirking woman standing a few feet away from him.
She returned his stare without blinking an eye, unmoved by his actions. Her eyes took in his appearance for a brief moment, and then as if she found him unworthy, her gaze shifted and focused on the scenery outside. It was going to be a warm night. The air was hot, unbearably so. She almost smirked when she realized that it was around this same time eight years ago that she last saw the view of the village from within the Hokage's office. How Fate loves to play with her.
He hadn't said a word of greetings and as he struggled to find something to say, he realized he couldn't. Where would he start?
"Tenten," Naruto exclaimed with joy when neither of them moved to acknowledge one another. "How long has it been?" A weak attempt to socialized but worth a try.
"Eight years."
"Really? Wow, time sure flies by fast these days. How are you?" Naruto ignored the fact that Tenten actually took a step backward to avoid him as he wrapped his arms around her, giving her a tight death hug. He also ignored the darkening scowl on Neji's face, choosing instead to dismiss it as his usual 'waking up on the wrong side of the bed' look.
"I have no visible injuries," she answered while trying to dislodge Naruto's seeking hands from her without appearing rude. After all, although Naruto was still Naruto, he was also the current Hokage.
Naruto smiled at Tenten's weak attempt to get away from him. These two have issues with personal space and have a liking for short, to the point conversations. Definitely not someone he wanted to be trapped in a room with.
Being Hokage comes with many advantages. For example, take the ability to have endless amount of ramen stands built all over town with little to no objections. He could pester Sakura until she kicked him out of the hospital wing and simply stare at people for no apparent reason. It always makes Hinata nervous but he loved doing it. But the one torture Naruto loved beyond all else was the ability to poke jokes at his friends and not worry about them punching him in the face.
When he was sure Neji just might cross the line and kill him on the spot, he pulled Tenten from him, but he kept a firm hold on her shoulders. "You and Neji are so sweet with your words."
When neither of them responded Naruto smiled, he knew they wouldn't. "Tenten let me introduce you to your guard for the week, and Neji," Naruto said as he stepped away from Tenten, least she decided to do away with manners too. He turned toward Neji, his smile widened even further, "Let me introduce you to your spoiled brat."
The Hokage was as good as dead. Hyuuga Neji was known for many things but most of all, he was famous for his calmed demeanors, and cool and collected manners. The current Hokage, however, could test the patience of a saint and where Neji was concerned, Naruto was playing dangerously along a thin line.
Neji said nothing to give away his murderous thoughts, the barely visible twitching of his brows were the only indications that he was bothered by Naruto's bad sense of humor.
Naruto had a sinking feeling that if Tenten doesn't do the job, Neji just might. Nevertheless, his smile broaden even further when they continued to keep silent. It was times like these that made sacrificing his freedom as Hokage worthwhile.
The tension in the air was unmistakably thick and yet not a word was spoken as they headed toward the Hyuuga mansion. He didn't know whether the awkward moment of introductions and eerie silence that lasted long after the meeting was a product of eight years of separation, or merely a creation of their own stubborn pride.
She had not spoken a word, hadn't even turned to give him a second glance. She seemed quit content with the way things had gone. If anything, from the way things had went, she was more interested in the surroundings rather than him. If he wanted to talk, he would have to take the initiative.
"How have you been?" he finally asked.
It was the most common question asked between recently reacquainted friends. How have you been? A question often asked when you are unsure of where you stand. Not too formal or intimate. Tenten does not know how she should answer such a question. How does one even start to answer it? It was too ambiguous, there were too many loopholes and too many directions it could lead.
"Fine." She finally whispered. Not the definite truth but not necessary a lie either.
It was a universal answer, an answer that revealed nothing, a thin line between Heaven and Hell. Fine, a formal way of saying, "life's so messed up," or "life's not that bad." How does he reply to something like that? How far could he take their conversation before the line is drawn? How long were they going to play this battle of words before one of them caved in?
He decided being direct was the best. "Have you found that happiness you were looking for?"
Her steps faltered. Rather it was because of the intimacy behind the question or the question itself, he was not able to read any further. When her answer came, her voice was quite, barely above a whisper but he heard it as clear as the day she left, "Happiness can't be found just anywhere."
He turned to look in her, his eyes brooding into hers, as if searching for something he had misplaced. It was not what he expected to hear…wanted to hear. He remembered her words. "This could be my only chance at happiness!" Back then, she had shouted those words with such passion, such enthusiasm, it had convinced him.
Words that cut their ties like a blacken ribbon. They had held him back when his body threatened to put into motion his feelings. They were locks around his hands when he had wanted to pulled her back. They were...no. "No…"
"What?" She frowned at him.
Hyuuga Neji was always in control of his reeling emotions. He had been in control of them for over eighteen years and this time would be no different.
"Nothing." His answer was clear and concise, with no hint of hesitation.
She forced a smile. If he didn't want to tell her, she was not going to force him. In the past, perhaps she would have worked harder for a little more, a little more intimacy, a little more closure, just always a little more, but times were different now. She was not here to interrogate him for answers, neither was she here to rekindled a lost friendship. She had more important matters at hand then a simple childhood infatuation.
As they continued toward the Hyuuga mansion, the voice in his head refused to die down. Liar. Lair. Lair. It mimicked. You knew before you asked, you knew even before she gave her answered. The more Neji denied the voice, the more it continued to mock and laugh until finally, he was forced to admit…he did know.
He was not so self centered that he would indulged himself in the thought that she could only find happiness in Konoha…that she could find happiness only with him. But in the back of his mind, in that deep dark part of himself, he had known that leaving wasn't the answer, that leaving was never the answer. But when she left, the only way to free him of his guilt was to force himself to believe that she had left in search of happiness, that she had left in search of something better, something more, something that he wasn't able to give her.
He didn't want to believe, didn't have the courage to admit, not then and most certainly not now. But as the years passed, it became increasing hard to keep up the deception, especially now, when she was so close that all he had to do was reach out and touch her.
He knew he was lying to himself. He intentionally deceived himself so that he could find comfort at the end of the day, when the darkness consumed and all thoughts and feelings came to life. But with her answer, she was taking away his only means of comfort. She was laying bare all doubts, all excuse he had come up with. Still, Neji didn't want to face the truth, the undeniable fact that she didn't leave to find happiness…
She left to get away from him.
There were so many things he wanted to say to her, so many things he wanted to dig up but he didn't know where to start.
She wondered if Hyuuga Neji's abilities to mask his emotions was wearing off or if she had simply grew accustomed to the feeling of guilt. Must be the latter. Hyuuga Neji's abilities to mask his emotions were legendary. She would know, she had encountered it many times.
She shook her head to clear it of any disturbing thoughts. What was she doing? Whatever he was thinking about, it had nothing to do with her. Hyuuga Neji has nothing to do with her anymore...well, that was not entirely true…
The sun had already set and stores were too busy getting ready to close for the night to notice them as they made their way toward the Hyuuga mansion. They had been going at a pretty steady pace since they left the Hokage's office. Neji was leading and she was once again, following behind. She didn't question and he didn't need to explain. It's amazing how quickly things fell back into place. They were both well aware that she knew the location of the Hyuuga mansion like the back of her hand. The years of separation could never erase a road she'd traveled all her life. And yet, he was again the leader and she, the follower, an ancient routine as old as their history but as they continued the rest of the way in silence, they were forced to admit that though old routines die hard, overcoming new routines were even harder.
When they finally reached the Hyuuga mansion, two guards were stationed at the door and greeted them with a polite, "Neji-sama," to which Neji nodded his head in acknowledgment before leading her inside.
She figured the Hyuuga mansion would be heavily guarded and she was right. It was no surprise that the Hyuuga compound had experienced little to no changes at all. Even if some things changed, others are bound to stay the same. She could always count on the Hyuuga's to remained unchanged. Their manners, their pride and their restrictions will always remain the same. To her, they had always seemed to be out of the norm of society, unaffected by time.
Two servants appeared to get them in a respectful voice barely heard above the stillness of the room. "Neji-sama."
As Neji instructed the servants about their guest, she glanced around at her surroundings, taking in the quite setting. To think it had been almost a decade since she last stepped foot in this room and yet nothing had changed. The slightly clouded memories of a darkish golden brown table and freshly picked flowers were all she could remembered of this place. But there was no doubt that the Hyuuga mansion had remained the same. The portrait on the walls were in perfect alignment and condition and the servants in perfect obedience. Perhaps, she thought with a hint of irony, the one that had changed was Neji himself. How sad to think that the things that truly mattered always seem to coordinate with Time's will.
"Have Yuki prepare a room for our guest," Neji instructed a young man. "She will be staying for a few days."
"Hai."
"Inform Hinata-sama of our guest."
"Hinata-sama is no longer here."
He turned to the servant, displeasure on his face, "No longer here?"
"Hinata-sama has recently left on a mission."
"What kind of mission?"
"It seems someone broke in and stole one of the forbidden scrolls, she has been dispatched to catch the thief."
Why Hinata? There are many available shinobis with the skills and competence to catch a petty thief. "That is no legitimate excuse to summoned a Hyuuga, especially the head."
"The scroll that was stolen was from the Hyuuga personal security hall."
The Hyuuga security hall? Why would someone take the risk? What could they want with a bunch of old Hyuuga scrolls?
"I see. Have everything ready for our guest as soon as possible. She has been traveling and would probably like some rest."
"Hai, Neji-sama."
"Traveling here from Spring must be rough, you should be resting."
She didn't turn to acknowledge his presence, instead she focused her attention on nothing in particular. As if the surroundings were alien to her and he was somber to admit that in a way, it was. "I'm used to it."
Silence fall as the they regarded each other.
"Hyuuga." she finally whispered.
"Neji," he corrected.
"I need your help." She waited for his reaction, no longer sure if he would agree.
"I'm listening."
"I need you to help me retrieve a scroll from the Hokage."
Another scroll? "Why don't you just ask the Hokage himself, I'm sure Naruto wouldn't mind giving it to you."
She shook her head. "I don't think even Naruto knows about this scroll."
"Impossible." Neji said. "How could the Hokage not know?"
"Because only the fifth and I know about it."
"Tsunade?"
She turned toward him, her expression blank, "I'm not really the heir of Spring…"
"You lied…" all these years, she had kept the truth from him. All this time, she could have ended their parting with a single word. He knew the risk involved when you worked as a spy. Death was almost a guarantee, torture was inescapable and ties…they had to be broken. Why? All this time and still he asked the question. Why had she agreed to do it? "How could you?"
"How could I not?" she asked him. "You've seen how corrupted this world is. Backs are stabbed time and time again. Konoha and Spring have never trusted each other even though they proclaimed one another as friends. Each village whispered words of friendship and the continuity of peace but behind the minds of every genius lays the plans of ruling one another."
"The renewal of peace was just a cover-up."
"No," she answered. "Because Naruto made no mention of this to me, I assumed Tsunade must not have told him about my situation. The scroll that can prove my identity must have gotten lost when the fifth passed away. Until the scroll is found, I'm still the heir of Spring. Will you help me?"
"Why not ask Naruto for permission to look for the scroll?"
"If you were the Hokage, would you let another villager's shinobi get their hands on your village's private information? It matters not that I was once a Konoha's kunoichi."
She was right. The risks involved would be too great. Even someone with a high regard for friendships such as Naruto knew when to draw the line.
He was still not convinced. She had lied...to him. "Why did you do it?"
"There was nothing here for me." she answered.
"Nothing," he whispered, her words cutting through him. "Is that how you regard our friendship?"
"Friendship?" she laughed, her eyes finally meeting his. The first sign of emotion since they meet in the Hokage's office.
He held her gaze. Starring into eyes that were once filled with laughter, eyes that he could no longer read. Nothing. Nothing at all.
Determined to find something that hadn't changed. His eyes took in her hair, eyes, nose, down to her uniform but only one word registered itself in his mind, different.
Everything about her was different, but the main difference that seemed to scream out and mock him were the colors of her uniform. He was never one who cared much for appearance but deny it as he may, he could not push aside the fact that her uniform angered him.
It laughed at him even though he tried to deny it's existence. Different colors. Different designs. Different symbol. Different village. As much as he wanted to reach out to her, everything about her screamed, different. She didn't belonged. Not to their village, not to team Gai, not to him...it disturbed him, made him nervous. How dare she wear such a uniform so carelessly, so casually, as if it was a part of her, as if she was born with it, as if she belongs...to someone else.
His hands ached to grab her and shake her. Force her out of that uniform and erase the unnatural laugher that came from her voice. Instead, he stilled his hands at his side. "Yes. Friendship."
"All of these years and your words are still the same." At his blank look, she laughed even harder. He must think her mad? "Have you ever loved?" Surely, she must be.
He blinked, taken aback by her unexpected question. "Tenten-"
"Just answer the question, Neji."
"Yes," he finally whispered.
"Then you should understand well that emotional walls crumble and identities crack."
What was she implying? Was she telling him that she had found love? He had not asked about her time in Spring. Never once had he questioned her about her time away from him. There wasn't enough time, the intimacy couldn't be proven, and he didn't have the right. He had told himself that it didn't matter, that as long as she was here, he didn't care. But somehow, the possibility that she might have someone she loved. The thought that someone might be waiting for her safe return didn't sit well with him. "Sakura once told me that unrequited love hurts the most. I never believed it until-"
"How is Sakura?" She interrupted him not because she didn't want to hear proclamations of love for another woman but because it didn't matter. She already knew the answer, Sakura…of course. Who else? She had never questioned him about Sakura. Never bought up the subject, she didn't want to know, she didn't want to remember. She was convinced that it didn't matter, that none of it mattered anymore, not him, not her, nothing.
"She's fine." He answered. "She's now the head of the medical division."
That was all he said and she was glad. It was all she had wanted to hear. After all, what was…what could have been or what could be, none of it mattered anymore. All that mattered, all that she strived to achieve was within her grasp and she was not going to let anything get in her way.
"Would you congratulate her on my behalf?" she asked. "It seems I will not be keeping contact with her anytime soon. Trips like these don't usually include friendships visit," she explained.
He nodded. "Gai and Lee?"
"Even them."
"I see." But he did not see, did not understand. She was going to be here for a whole week.
"How was your experience in another village?"
A faint smile graced her lips. "I learned to appreciate life."
Not what he wanted to hear either. "You could appreciate life all you want, it gives no indications whether you enjoyed your own."
"I enjoyed my life as much as the next person."
Again, an indirect answered, one that revealed nothing. Had they come to this? Talking in circles, with no real direction.
He felt like giving himself a mental shake or simply pinching himself, anything to convince himself that this wasn't another place, another time...another dream. He wanted so desperately to reach out and touch her but the creeping realization that she might disappear, vanish into thin air and he would once again wake up in a cold sweat glued his hands to his side. How could she be so close and yet seem so far? "Do you know why I enjoy looking at the night sky?"
When she said nothing he continued. "Because no matter where you are or where you look, it's always the same. An endless blanket filled with stars. Rather I'm here in Konoha or in Spring, the view is still the same…unchanged."
She knew the message he was trying to convey. She'd changed and she wasn't going to deny it. Leaning her back against a tree, she turned her face to look up at the stars, to catch for herself the beauty he found in them...she couldn't.
"We were born into the life of a shinobi," she whispered. Her voice was quiet but definite. "Ever since we were small, we were taught to keep our emotions hidden, our masks in place. Emotions, we were taught, only served to drag us down. And you," she turned to glance at him, her eyes boring into his. "You had the thickest mask of us all."
He said nothing; merely continued to stare at her, trying to find the joy that was once there...he couldn't.
She smiled. Not because she was happy, not because she was right, but because this dug up memories that used to hurt so much. "No matter how I tried, I was never able to crack it." Tenten fisted her hands at her sides. "But each time I failed, I would say to myself, 'Next time, I won't fail.' It became an ambition, a goal for me to see past that perfect mask that hides your true identity."
She turned from him, forcing her gaze back at the beauty she couldn't see. "So lost was I in my ambition, I didn't realize that every step of the way, my own mask was crumbling. It came to the point where I looked in the mirror and no longer recognized who I was. I used to see my reflection in the lake and wonder if someone was standing behind me. It scared me…to see my true self reflected back at me and yet not recognize who it was. I wanted…no," she said with a shake of her head. "I needed…to get away, needed time for myself. So when the opportunity came, I took it. I took the easy way out, I know. It was pathetic, I was pathetic but…it was a chance for me to glue back what I lost and if I couldn't do it…I would rebuild a new one. So," she said as she turned toward him, her smile in place, her eyes blank, "What do you think?"
"Perfect," he whispered. "So tightly in place, I no longer know who you are."
Her gaze was unfaltering, revealing nothing. "I could say the same about you."
"Well?"
"Mission completed."
"Good, return home. I'll return as soon as I finish what business I have here."
"Tenten…" he wasn't sure if he should say it but he had noticed the change in her. In the past, when he needed that slap of reality, she had delivered it. Should he do the same?
"Go ahead, say it."
"You are not-"
"No."
"Are you…"
She smiled. "You should know me better then that."
"I understand but-"
"Don't worry. I know what must be done."
"If you don't want to do this…I know it can be hard when dealing with-"
"I won't let such trivial matters get in my way."
He nodded his head. "Good, I'll report to grandfather."
"Don't get yourself kill."
He smiled. "The same goes for you."
As always, remembered to read and reviews. Any comments, thoughts or suggestions are welcome and highly appreciated. thanks!