Lonely No More

Karen is depressed after Stan's death but can she allow her closest friends to see it?

Karen Walker had never been one to show her feelings, not to anyone, well except for her late husband Stanley Walker. She could talk to him about anything, he had known everything about her, as she did about him.

When Rosario had broken the news of his death to her, she couldn't even think straight. As soon as her brain had processed the words, a full ten minutes later, the only thing she felt was an overwhelming sense of being totally alone. Who would she turn to now that she had really lost the only person who ever knew the real Karen Walker?

After the scattering of Stan's ashes on the yacht:

Karen, Jack, Will and Grace were all still aboard Karen's yacht, they were anchored for the night and were all in their separate rooms. Jack and Will had had a bit too much to drink and were already asleep. Grace was also asleep, having cried herself to sleep worrying about the possibility that Leo might cheat on her.

Karen Walker, however, was wide awake. She had plenty of pills to help her sleep but she didn't want to take them. For when she slept, she only dreamt of one thing: being in Stan's arms. Sleep was not an option anymore.

"Why did you have to leave me Stanley?" Karen sighed as she lay down on her king-sized bed. She stared up at the ceiling, remembering some of the good times she'd had with Stan on their yacht.

Karen had yet to cry over the death of her husband, for two very simple reasons. The first was that she felt she did not have the right to cry over someone whom she was divorcing. Even though she knew she was still in love with Stan, she felt she had given away the privilege of showing her love for him. The second reason that she had not shed any tears was that she believed that if she did start to cry, she would never be able to stop.

Back in New York, three days after the four returned:

"Do you think Karen's going to be ok, Will?" Grace asked while the two of them were eating dinner.

Karen had not been to work since they had returned to New York and although everyone knew that Karen was not one to turn up at Grace Adler Designs frequently, she had never missed three days of work without telling Grace first.

Will did not know how to answer Grace's question; he knew that Karen was a formidable woman but losing someone that close to you can break the strongest person.

Will had spoken to Jack earlier that day and it concerned him to find out that Karen had not even spoken to Jack since the scattering of Stan's ashes. If Karen had talked to anyone, it would have been Jack, he was her Poodle and they had a special friendship that was just as strong as Will and Grace's.

Will felt compelled to honest with Grace, "I honestly don't know Gracie, I think I really need to go and see Karen tomorrow. I mean, she said she needed time alone but I think what she really needs right now is someone to talk to."

Will knew that although Jack and Karen were as close as two friends could get, there were just some things that Karen would feel more comfortable talking to Will about that she would with Jack.

"You're right, as usual." Grace replied. "I know that Karen comes across as a cold-hearted bitch most of the time, but I also know that that's not really her at all, she must just be feeling so terrible right now and I want to see her smile again."

So it was agreed; Will would go and speak to Karen at her penthouse tomorrow. Jack hastily agreed because, like Grace, he needed Karen to smile again, she was his whole world.

Would Karen show even a glimmer of emotion? Would she let down her barriers and let herself be comforted by one of the people who loved her the most?

Meanwhile, while Will and Grace were discussing Karen's situation, Karen herself was having an internal debate. She knew that one or all of her three best friends would be round to see her at some point in the near future, but what was she to do?

Karen just could not decide whether or not she should actually allow Will, Grace and her Jackie to see her in the state that she was. She had not slept at all in the past four days and it was beginning to show. She was also eating even less than she usually did and had lost weight as a result. She had even stopped drinking alcohol and taking pills of any kind, and the withdrawal symptoms had taken their toll on her overall appearance.

She lay awake again, curled in front of the TV in the media room, not really watching the figures on the screen. Rosario entered the room and looked sadly at Karen's small, now frail looking form. There had been no fighting between Karen and her maid since the death of Mr Walker and this alone scared Rosario more than anything ever had. Add the fact that Karen had not touched a drop of alcohol in almost a week, and Rosario was downright terrified for the wellbeing of her boss.

Morning came and Karen was still sitting in the same position as she had been the night before. She had made a decision though: she would see her friends when they came to visit her, whenever that may be.

"Rosie, I need you" she whispered, her usually high-pitched voice now low and rough from lack of sleep. Rosario was not far away and was soon at Karen's side.

"Yes Miss Karen, what can I do for you?" the maid asked tentatively.

Karen rose to her feet and rubbed her hands over her face, "Just help me look more presentable for when Will, Grace and Jack come round."

Rosario nodded and informed Karen that Will had called earlier to say that he would be at the penthouse for 11 o'clock, but that he would be coming alone. It was only 8 o'clock now, plenty of time for Karen to plaster on some makeup and attempt to re-erect her emotional barricades.

When Will arrived at Karen's front door, he was extremely apprehensive. He knew that if Karen could not get over this tragedy, she would be lost forever, and he did not even want to think about how would affect him if that happened.

Rosario greeted Will as he entered the Manse,

"Please, Mr Will, please help my mami, it's killing me seeing her like this. It can't go on."

Will could see unshed tears in the woman's eyes and he knew what he had to do. He climbed the stairs to the master bedroom, which was where Rosario had told Will that Karen would be.

The sight that greeted him when he opened the door to the suite would remain with him for the rest of his life, simply because it was the first time that he had ever seen the real Karen Walker.

There she stood, in the centre of the room, staring right at him. He could tell that she was trying to stay strong, but no matter how she tried, she could not hide the emotion in her eyes, the tears eventually making their way down her tired face.

Will was by her side in an instant, his arms wrapped tightly around her as her walls came tumbling down.

"Will, I can't do this anymore. It feels as though someone's pulled the rug out from underneath my world and I'm left sprawling on the cold floor with no-one to pick me up and put me back on my feet. I don't want to be lonely anymore." She blurted out before her body became overcome with grief and she gave into the sobs that had been trying to escape her since she had heard of Stan's death.

"I can't be lonely anymore" she whispered.

Will was astonished that Karen had opened up so easily but he was honoured that she trusted him enough to share her usually well-hidden emotion with him.

There were no words that he could say to make Karen get over Stan's death, but he needed her to know that she would never be alone. He took her face in his hands and looked into her sparkling hazel eyes.

"Karen, listen to me, you will always have me, Grace and Jack, we're not going anywhere. We all love you so much, even if we don't show it. God Karen, you are such a wonderful, extraordinary woman, your tears make me want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt you anymore."

Will was now also crying, he had no idea just how lonely Karen had been feeling and he felt so bad for not realising it sooner.

"I'm so sorry that I haven't been as good a friend to you as I know you deserve, but that's all going to change. I don't care what it takes, you will smile again Karen Walker, it will take time but you will, and Grace, Jack and I will be there every step of the way. I can promise you that. I am so proud of you for letting your emotions out with me and Grace and Jack will be just as proud, just don't shut us out."

Throughout Will's whole speech, Karen had been hanging onto him as if her life depended on it, she had finally found someone to open up to and she didn't ever want to lose him. Silent tears were still falling from her eyes but she already knew that she was a stronger person with Will, Grace and Jack by her side.

That night, Karen decide to let Will stay in her bed, just so he would still be near. Will had draped a protective arm around his friend's waist and fallen asleep. Karen was just so relieved that she had released all that bottled up emotion and she would be forever thankful to Will for showing up when he did.

Before finally succumbing to the sleep that had eluded her for so long, Karen Walker whispered,

"I'll miss you Stanley, but I'm not alone anymore."