A/N: All right, this story has been in my head for some time now, and I decided that now, with no other story line to interest me, would be a good time to write it down. I should warn you all now that this is a one shot and a bit on the…ehm…--cocks eyebrow-- odd side. It's a result of Niki-depravation, sleep-depravation, and waaaaaaaaaay too much Vault Soda. It has inspired the addition of a new slang word in my very own vocabulary. That being "candleholders" as…well when you read this story I'm sure you'll figure it out.

Disclaimer: A: I do not own Harry Potter or it's characters (although I often wish I did --tear--). Not even Draco --sighs-- wistfully Draco: --grumbling-- Thank GOD

Muggle or no, Lily Evans attracted the attention of many of her male peers. She had long, wavy crimson hair; lively emerald eyes; a quick mind; a lovely smile which resided on an equally lovely face; and…well…a well endowed figure. Most Slytherin's wouldn't be caught dead admiring her. The other's, however, along with the rest of the male population her age – save a select few – didn't mind letting it be known that they appreciated the girl's looks.

Meals were when it was most noticeable. Many lads had more important things on their mind than Lily's looks, but there were a few that would sneak a peek in her direction. It wasn't only her, though, many of her friends were just as pretty as she was.

However, despite her good looks, hardly any of those boys had the courage to confront her with their feelings. All because of one factor; James Potter.

The ebony haired boy was head over heels for the girl, but she couldn't stand him. James was a pure blood with hazel eyes; messy tresses; a tall, lean figure; talent as an athlete; handsome features; and plenty of girls just waiting for him to give up on Lily. There was no chance of that, though, he loved the girl and none other would suffice.

None.

Stifling a yawn, James Potter walked through the large doors that lead into the Great Hall. When they reopened, his eyes fell on a Gryffindor boy of his year standing still and looking at Lily as she walked towards her friends. He had a look on his face as though he were fighting with himself.

James stepped next to him and rested an elbow on the boy's shoulder as he followed the boy's gaze to Lily. Slowly he said, "She sure is a sight to behold." The boy nodded, then glanced at his company and his eyes went wide.

Joshua Blake, a fellow member to James of the Quidditch team, stepped out from under James's elbow. James smiled at him as he allowed his arm to drop to his side. Joshua offered a small smile and murmured, "Surprised me, James. You shouldn't go sneakin' up on people like that. It's scary. Couldn't you see my mind was too preoccupied with…other things to notice you?"

James's smile lessened slightly as he replied, "I did. Sorry, I'll remember how unmindful of your surroundings you are next time." He paused allowing the near threat to effectively sink in. "You seen Sirius yet? He wasn't in his bed when I woke up this morning."

"I-" Joshua began, but he was saved having to answer by the aforementioned absentee slinging an arm around James's shoulder. Joshua quickly muttered a very quite excuse before sitting down while Sirius said, "Lookin' for me, were you? I swear, a guy can't even go take care of business without his friends sendin' out a bloody search party! So I wasn't in bed this morning, aren't I allowed to get up before you every once in a while, James?"

Sirius was a tall, lean youth with a puckish air about him. His black eyes gleamed with mischief and his smile mirrored that. His hair was long, silky, and the color of midnight. He was as handsome as James, mayhaps even more so! There were definitely more girls interested in him than in James, either because of the aura of Bad Boy that seemed to emanate from Sirius or because of the aura of Taken that radiated from James. It was hard to tell which.

"You are, but it's very unusual," James said with a grin as he brushed Sirius's arms off his shoulders. "I thought you were in here, when I didn't see you I began to wonder if you got sick. That would be a bloody terrible way to start of your seventh year, don't you think? Especially alone."

Sirius snorted, "Me? Sick? You know that I'm practically immune to every sickness there is." James smirked as he began to walk toward an empty space on the bench of the Gryffindor table. As Sirius followed him, James called over his shoulder, "Yeah, that and humility, it would seem." He ducked just as Sirius smacked at his head, lightly of course, only to hit the air above. Noticing he missed, Sirius punched James in the shoulder instead and began to sit down himself.

Then he spotted Lily and whistles low and soft-like. "Bloody hell. Lily certainly has…" Sirius looked at James, choosing his words carefully, "developed well over the summer."

Sirius was the only boy their age who could get away with speaking of Lily as such in front of James without needed to visit the Hospital Wing. They had an understanding, James and Sirius did. As long as Sirius steered clear of Lily, James would steer clear of Sirius' many girls. That was easy for James. There were other girls who were as good a catch as Lily – heck, some that he would admit were better – but none of them was Lily. Somehow she was just…different.

James nodded as he looked at her too. "That she has," he murmured, not noticing that someone had joined them. That is, until their company spoke in a quiet, small, squeaky voice.

"What are you two so interested in?" The inquiry emitted from the pudgy, mouse-like Gryffindor that was Peter Pettigrew. James and Sirius turned to look at him simultaneously and with near identical looks of part annoyance, part surprise.

Peter seemed to shrink back from their gazes which snapped James out of the grumpy mood of being interrupted from his Lily-viewing. With a sigh, his hand moved into his jet-black hair to tussle it as he said, "Sorry Peter. I was just…." His sentence, and thought, trailed away into nothingness and his gaze returned to the red-haired object of his affection.

"Ah, Lily then," Peter said knowingly, bringing James back to planet Earth, and out of his reverie, once more. He nodded and turned his attention to his empty plate. Sirius looked at him from the corner of his eyes and frowned.

"Her bosom mostly."

James's head snapped up and he turned to look at the person whom spoken; Sirius. Peter seemed to be shocked and squeaked, "Oh my!" then said no more. James didn't seem to be able to figure out how to react.

Sirius merely shrugged, "It's true, isn't it? I said that she'd certainly been blessed over the summer and you agreed. What did you think I was talking about?"

James opened his mouth to say something, though he wasn't sure exactly what, when the strangest question he'd ever heard – and indeed would ever hear – was asked.

Peter seemed to have regained from his silent shock for he'd inquired in a bemused tone, "What would you look at those for?" The attention of both ebony-haired boys turned to Peter.

Peter was a naïve boy and as homely as James and Sirius were striking. Perhaps it was the extra weight or maybe the very mouse-like appearance he had. Whatever it was, there didn't seem to be any girls who even noticed him let alone admired him. He had watery eyes that were small and a timid demeanor that was almost annoying – and at times wasn't just almost so.

This was one of those times. Peter stammered and sputtered, tripping over almost every word until James and Sirius just wanted to lean over the table and shake him. Finally, James took a deep breath and said calmly and coolly, "Relax, Wormtail." Peter immediately clamped his mouth shut and stared at James. "Take a deep breath and just…explain to me what exactly you mean by that question."

Peter took a ridiculously deep breath and hasty said, "Im-meantexac-excatlyw-w-whatIasked. Itj-justd-doesn'tmakes-s-sensetom-m-meatall! W-whyw-w-wouldy-y-y.y-youlookatEvan's…b-b-bosom." Sirius and James stared at him for a moment, causing the poor boy to turn beat red, then Sirius began to snicker – which surely did not better the situation. James elbowed him in the ribs and Peter's cheeks flushed a deeper red as he looked down.

Sirius tried vainly to cease his chuckling as he gasped, "Sorry. It's just…what did you think they were for, Wormtail? Boys like to look at a girls bosom, that's why they have them!"

Now James looked down, smacking himself in the forehead on his hand on the way. Really he wasn't all that embarrassed by Sirius' bluntness, but Remus wasn't there to be embarrassed and James felt that someone aught to feel mortified by Sirius's words. There were people around who could hear them, though he knew no one would say anything about it or against them. Still, it was good for someone to acknowledge that Sirius was being a little too blunt.

Thinking of Remus resulted in a twinge of pity, regret, and guilt in James. Last night had been the first night of the full moon. Because of that, Remus had been forced to journey to Hogwarts early and on his own so he wouldn't have to arrive late. Besides, Hogwarts offered a more comfortable and safe fortification for a werewolf.

However, this meant that Remus didn't have a chance to see James, Sirius, and Peter during the train ride to Hogwarts. Instead, he'd gone straight to the Shrieking Shack where he'd remained alone until James, Sirius, and Peter came to visit him last night. When they'd arrived, the three had found a note from Remus kindly but firmly requesting that, for this night, at least, they leave him be.

You guys go to the feast and enjoy it for me since I can't, and don't even think of staying with the excuse that if I can't enjoy myself you won't either! There will be plenty of other feasts that we can go to together. Besides, you guys know how I am about knowing what rules have changed, been added, or reinforced. I know you guys don't usually listen, but I need you to tonight so you can fill me in later, okay? If you don't I will be very cross with you. Sincerely, Moony.

That had been what part of the note said and they'd listened to it like Remus had wanted. He'd left no room for argument. Obviously, he knew them all too well. Still, it hadn't sat right with James last night and it didn't now. He felt that he should have stayed anyway and kept Remus company during the night. He'd resolved never to do it again, no matter what Remus said, but still…

James was roused from his thoughts of Remus when Peter finally responded, murmuring, "I thought they were for holding candles." James looked up upon hearing this and peered at Peter as though he'd never seen the boy before. Finally he announce, "You can't be serious!"

Meekly, Peter nodded his head and James found himself shaking his own. He looked at Sirius as though expecting him to be able to shed some light on this strange opinion of Peter's only to find that Sirius was looking at him in the same way. Sirius turned to look at Peter once more and asked, somewhat intensely, "So what? You think they're there so you can stick a candle between 'em and light your merry way?! Or so you can stick a bloody candle between 'em and hang a girl on your wall?!"

Peter stared at the table and began to trace the designs made by the grain as he said almost inaudibly, "W-well. I expect you could if you didn't have a torch."

This was just too much for Sirius, he began to bang his head on the table. In a bewildered trance, James grabbed Sirius's collar and made him stop as he stared at Peter. Sure he was naïve, but this was just crazy. This was beyond all realms of possibility. How could someone come about such a crazed way of thinking?

Sirius, obviously feeling the same way, said, "Wormtail. That is the most insane notion I have ever heard in my thirteen years of life. Ever."

"Oh please," Peter retorted. "It's not tthat crazy." Sirius and James nodded and replied, in unison, "Yeah. It is." Peter, still unconvinced, crossed his arms before his chest and looked away.

Then that look of mischief that often appears in Sirius's eyes and always means trouble, appeared. James didn't like what was possibly going through the boys head. Where ever it was going, though, he knew that a detention would probably follow.

Oh well, James thought. We need to sustain our record of getting in trouble first on the first day before anyone thinks to take it from us. We wouldn't be the famous four Marauders if we let that happen.

Sirius leaned forward and put his elbow in the table, then he rested his chin on the back of his wrist as he looked at Peter. Struggling to hold back a grin, Sirius forced a look of challenge on his face and said, "Why don't you go ask her then, Peter."

Peter looked about ready to refuse, but then he stood up and huffed. "I will then," he said with a wavering tone of finality. "You two just won't believe me and I know I'm right so there's only one way to go about knowing for sure."

He waddled off, clearly attempted to look confident and failing miserably to do so. It was then that Remus showed up, looking a little tired and worse for wear, but cheery none the less. Also a little confused and worried.

Peter had just reached Lily and gotten her attention when Remus asked, "What's Peter talking to Lily Evan's about?" Sirius merely waved a hand at him and shushed him, looking excitedly as Lily as her face slowly got redder. Then he pointed at the aforementioned girl and Peter.

Remus looked over and his eyes grew wide. "Oh my-…what did you tell him to say to her!" Remus hissed, keeping his gaze on the two as Lily stood up, covered her bosom with one arm and smacked Peter soundly with the other.

She grabbed Peter by the shoulder and hissed something furiously in his ear before shoving him away and sitting down, seething. Sirius snickered quietly as Peter wandered somewhat dazedly over to them. When he arrived, Sirius put a straight look on his face and looked at Peter with curiosity as he asked coolly, "Soooo, what did she say?"

Peter's lower lip trembled as he slowly managed to say, "Lily Evans said that her…her bosom isn't for looking at or for holding candles. She says that they're for feeding babies with and…and if she catches you looking at them again she'll make sure you never bare children."

There were some chuckles and sounds of sympathy – though somewhat amused sympathy – upon the completion of this message. Remus turned to look at Sirius and James and said, "You didn't!"

Sirius smiled and said, "We did." Although James quickly shook his head, pointed at Sirius and amended, "He did." Then the four male friends turned to look at Lily. She drew a finger across her throat, a clear message of how she felt about them, when Professor McGonagall, thin-lipped, tapped her on the shoulder.

There was an exchange of whispers before McGonagall headed towards the four marauders, with Lily in tow and looking livid. She stopped before them, crossed her arms, and said, "Well? Are you four going to explain yourselves?"

Sirius, James, and Remus stood, Peter was still standing so he merely turned to look at McGonagall. Her eyes were lingering on him for the most part, however, they flicked to James and Sirius frequently. Sirius, noticing this, stepped forward and said, "Of course we would love to explain ourselves, Professor. However, we don't wish for an audience on this one, if that would be alright."

McGonagall's lips were practically nonexistent as she looked between the four boys. Finally, she reached out and seized Sirius and James by the ears before walking toward the Entrance Hall, dragging them in tow. Lily gave Remus and Peter withering looks before following McGonagall and her prisoners with all the dignity she could muster. Remus and Peter exchanged miserable looks before following.

If it were not for the fact that the four boys were used to such ways of exiting the Great Hall, they would surly feel as though it was the longest walk of their life. However, they were used to such extravagant exiting procedures and, thus, only noticed that it seemed to take slightly longer to make the trek when in trouble than when on their way to be about their business.

When they were safely out of view of the students whose breakfast they'd interrupted, McGonagall let go of Sirius and James's ears – leaving them to follow obediently behind her. James turned to look at Sirius and mouthed, "I blame you for this." Sirius responded with an extravagant gesture of offense by bringing his hand to his heart as if inquiring whether James seriously blamed him.

Their heads jerked forward as Lily stepped up behind them and smacked them upside the back of their heads simultaneously. They turned to look at her and James mocked surprised as he asked, "Why Lily! What are you doing here?"

Lily glared at him and said, "Because of you two gits I'm the first person to get in trouble on the first day of school!" Sirius and James shared at look and Sirius adopted a grave mannerism as he said, "It seems she is attempting to steal our title from us, James."

James merely shook his head, adopting that same solemn attitude as he said, "I didn't even know you were so interesting in the working of a marauder, Evans. I always thought you hated us. You sure are convincing."

"Oh shove it," she snapped as her eyes burned with raw anger. "Because of you two, three innocent people are getting trouble." Sirius tilted his head to the side as he looked at her, walking backwards so he could do so.

He sighed, "Evans, we are planning on telling McGonagall that Remus had nothing to do with this. We aren't about to let him take the fall for something he had nothing to do with."

Lily crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow, "And what about Peter and I, hm?" Sirius smiled and turned to walk correctly once more as he said, "Well, as for you, it's your own fault that you're in trouble. You could have given Peter the message and ratted us out to McGonagall. You didn't have to slap Peter."

Lily opened her mouth, closed it, glared at him and tried again. "I do regret that," she said finally looking at Peter and resting a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure it's not your fault. They brainwashed you into asking me that question, didn't they?"

Peter looked at the floor when he answered, but his tone was indignant nonetheless, "Of course not! I wanted to ask."

Lily smiled at him sympathetically and took her hand from his shoulder. "Of course," she said tenderly, though it was obvious that she didn't really believe him. When Lily turned away Remus gripped Peter's shoulder and squeezed it gently. Peter looked at him and they shared a look that left Peter giving Remus a small smile of thanks.

McGonagall ushered them into her office and closed the door behind her. They remained silent as she strode over to her desk and sat down behind it before looking at them. Her lips were still dangerously thin and she was obviously angry. Finally she told them to explain themselves, and they did.

When they finished, she sent Remus on his way – he did so somewhat reluctantly. When the door closed behind him, McGonagall looked at the four students remaining and said, "Fifty points will be withheld from Gryffindor, as it has not yet earned pointed to lose. As for you four, you will serve detention together. Miss Evans you will only need to remain a day, you as well Mr. Pettigrew. As for you two…"

McGonagall fixed her gaze on Sirius and James before continuing, "you will be serving detention for a week. What you did was a serious thing and neither of you will be let off detention until I am sure you understand that, understood?"

"Yes," James and Sirius chorused. When McGonagall looked at Lily and Peter they mumbled, "Yes," their answers overlapping. McGonagall nodded with satisfaction and said, "Good, you are dismissed."

When they exited her office, and the door was safely shut, Lily whipped around to glare at James and Sirius in turn. "I was dead serious about what I said, you two." She moved back at gave them looks of pure revulsion as she sneered, "You two disgust me." Then she turned on her heels and stormed off in the direction of their first class.

Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus all exchanged looks and Sirius grimaced as he said, "Well, this certainly is the beginning of a first-day-back-to-Hogwarts day to remember. I know I won't forget it. Shall we?"

James sighed dejectedly and replied, "Yes, let's. We don't want to get a detention for being late to our first class to top off what we already got for the candleholders escapade. At least I don't."

He headed in the direction Lily had gone, Sirius, Remus, and Peter following him. None of them spoke as they thought of how the beginning to their first day back at Hogwarts had gone. Mentally, though they didn't know it, they all agreed on one word that fit in describing their day. Foul.

A/N: Alright, now I kind of want to develop this into a full fledged story! This was supposed to be a one shot, but ah well. I'll leave it up to you, my readers. What do you think? Do you want to read more or should I leave it at this? Read and respond! That's the only way I'll know.