A/N: Okay, so basically the idea is that Christopher dies...in as many ways as possible. Theoretically, they will start off pretty generic (but satisfying) and then get progressively more creative...feel free to leave your suggestions for ways to kill off Christopher! Rejoicing after the death(s) of Christopher is sanctioned and strongly encouraged.

Disclaimer: If I owned Gilmore Girls, I wouldn't have to resort to this in order to enjoy the death of Christopher...

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It was a busy day in the infamous Diner of Stars Hollow, Connecticut. Most of the town regulars were there, hanging out and not ordering near enough food to stop the complaining of the Diner's owner. Kirk was busy with his latest business endeavor, alternately playing salesperson as he tried to take advantage of the other diner patrons, and hiding all signs of entrepreneurial activity whenever Luke should happen to walk by. Patty was happily gossiping away, to just about any townie who would listen (which was actually a surprisingly large amount of people for such a small town). Even Taylor stopped in briefly, though he got into an argument with Luke almost immediately and was unceremoniously thrown out. Yes, this day was just like any other in Stars Hollow. That is, until Babette, one of the town's most trusted gossip sources, came running into the diner.

"You all are never gonna believe what I just heard!" She exclaimed, collapsing into a chair that was pulled out for her just moments before.

Eager citizens gathered around. It was common knowledge that Babette was the best source for knowledge of one Lorelai Gilmore nowadays (their houses were right next door), and everyone wanted to hear news about Lorelai Gilmore.

"What is it, Babette?" Inquired Miss Patty.

"Yeah, Babette, out with it!" Interjected another curious townie.

"Well," Babette began, panting a little from her cross-town run, "I was waterin' my plants outside, when I heard Lorelai's phone ringin'. I didn't see her car in the driveway, so I figured it wouldn't do any harm if I were to go listen for the message through the window. Well, apparently, she was home, and she picks up the phone. Then I remember there's a cordless just inside the back door, so I sneak inside and grab it. I didn't catch the first little bit of conversation, but I heard enough."

"Well...?!" The townies anxiously awaited. It was not like Babette to keep them in suspense.

"Christopher is dead!" Babette shouted. Surprised mutterings traveled throughout the assembled crowd.

"What happened, Babette?" Someone finally had the sense to ask. Babette smiled, enjoying the fact the she was the bearer of the most scintillating gossip since Lorelai had been seen in the diner wearing nothing but Luke's t-shirt.

"Well..." Babette began.