His Only Regret
a/n: hey everyone! I'm reposting this story for one reason: I want you all to be able to see the artwork that inspired me to write this small drabble. I had been surfing through deviantART one day, and I came across a beautiful piece of artwork entitled "Broken Bridges and Regrets..." by kara-lija. I encourage all of you to have that picture in your mind when you read this story to fully understand what kind of a mood I was trying to bring out. Here's the link: http/ www. deviantart. com/ deviation/ 43231532 (without the spaces)
"I'm sorry, Rangiku," he said, before he plunged his sword into her abdomen.
"Gin…" she said weakly, before falling into blessed darkness.
"Ahhhhhh!" Matsumoto Rangiku awoke with a start, covered in sweat, her heart pounding wildly in her chest. Closing her eyes, she sighed, and slowly wiped away the sweat on her brow with her hand. Kicking the tangled sheets away from her, she got up slowly.
She had been dreaming the same dream for weeks now. Ever since Aizen, Ichimaru, and Tousen had been branded as traitors to Soul Society, she hadn't been able to have any decent sleep. Every night, she would have the same nightmare, and wake up terrified.
In her dream, she would just turn around one day, and find Gin standing right behind her, with his grin on his face.
"Gin…?" she asked, unable to believe her eyes.
"Ne, ne, Ran-chan, s'not like ya to be speechless, ya know?" his grin grew wider, and he opened his arms.
"Gin!" she cried, running into his outstretched arms. His arms wrapped around her, and once again, she felt his familiar warmth cover her. Tears of relief welled up in her eyes, and she asked, "How could you just leave like that?"
"I'm sorry, Rangiku, I really am," he murmured, planting a kiss on top of her orange hair.
"Promise me, never do anything to make you say sorry to me, ever again, alright?" she asked, tearstained cheeks glistening.
His grin faded. He cupped her face with one of his hands, and said, "I promise, after this one more time…"
"What? What do you mean, Gin?" she asked, confusion evident on her face.
"I'm sorry, Rangiku," he whispered, before he plunged his sword into her abdomen.
"Gin…" she said weakly, before her vision faded and everything turned dark.
She would always wake up after that, scared to death, with tears mingling with the sweat on her face. Attempts to sleep after that were futile, so she just got up and waited until dawn.She put on her black shinigami robes, and wrapped her pink sash around her shoulders tightly. Sighing, she wandered over to the windows, where the bright moonlight cast shadows across the room. Leaning against the wall next to the window, she hugged herself with one arm, leaving the other to rest on the windowsill. She couldn't help but remember the last words he had said to her…
"Sayonara, Rangiku. Gomen ne…"
She shook her head slightly, as if to get the memory out of her mind. Staring up at the stars above, she whispered, "Gin…what are you doing now?"
---
Ichimaru Gin sat cross-legged on the ground, savouring the feel of the cool night breeze wash over him. Sighing, he turned his head upwards, watching the stars twinkle.
"Ichimaru-kun," he heard Aizen walk out and stand behind him.
"Aizen-sama," he replied, not bothering to stop gazing at the stars.
Aizen, too, began to look up towards the star-filled night sky.
"Do you regret coming with me?" Aizen asked.
"Iie, I don't. I don't regret coming with you…" Gin replied, letting his gaze drop from the sky.
Aizen nodded, and without another word, he turned around and flashstepped away.
Gin returned his gaze to the stars. He took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly, letting the air flow smoothly out of his system.
"Iie, I don't regret coming with you…my only regret doesn't concern you at all…"
Matsumoto Rangiku…The name of his only friend, only lover, only regret. He missed her. Missed her constant rambunctious behaviour, her large smiles, and her sweet laughter. He missed her sweet kisses, soft sighs, and gentle caresses. He missed the times when, long ago, he would draw her close to him on his futon and whisper sweet nothingness to her. He missed the way she would wedge her head in the crook of his neck, and missed the way her lips felt against his neck when she murmured "Goodnight…".
He did not regret following Aizen.
He did not regret corrupting Tousen, bending him to their will.
He did not regret using Kira to lead Hinamori and Hitsugaya to Central 46.
He did not regret stabbing Kuchiki Byakuya, although his intended target was his sister.
But he did regret hurting her.
He regrets the tears he knows she had undoubtedly shed over his departure.
He regrets the sorrow she must have felt.
He regrets not being able to make up for what he has done to her.
But like they say, what's done is done.
He sighed once again, still looking up at the infinite night sky. He couldn't help but wonder if she still thinks about him.
"What are ya doin' now, Ran-chan?"
And at that moment, the two star-crossed lovers seemed to reach an understanding.
'It's alright Gin, although I don't think I'll ever understand why you did that. But I forgive you. I forgive you. And I know you won't ever come back. At least, not as the Gin I know and love. But it's alright. I'll see you, the real you, someday, and maybe then, we'll be lucky. Maybe we'll be able to lead the life we weren't able to have. But until then…don't forget…I love you…'
'I will come back to you, Rangiku. I promise. Whether in this life, or the next, or the next, I will continue to look for you. I won't stop until you're back in my arms. And by then, I'll be able to make it up to you. We'll be free…free from everyone. I'll be free from these bonds, free to be with you. But until then…don't forget…I love you…'
"…What's the use in our goodbyes?
The time you leave's the time you break my heart in two.
Even though we're far apart,
Send my love with all my heart.
When you miss me at night,
Look at the stars shining bright.
For the times you pull me through,
All the things I do for you.
Running tears from eyes, thinking how will I survive,
Next goodbye…
…I'll be here waiting for you…"
kay this was a little something i did after finding a really good piece of fanart, as stated above :P i hope all of you were able to feel what i felt when i was writing this out. by the way, the song at the bottom (in italics) is "Long Distance" by janice. i thought it was really appropriate for the artwork as well as this story, so try and listen to it, it's really good.
i was actually aiming for more of an angsty feel, but somehow it got warped into major fluff. oh well, romance is my writing forte anyways. :) i hope the fluff didn't kill any of you, so please read and review:D
outz;)