Disclaimer: I don't own YGO. Neither do I own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Harry Potter, Danny Phantom, Haibane-Renmei, Sonic the Hedgehog: SatAM, Digimon, Caroline in the City, My Little Pony, Dungeons and Dragons, or Sakura Wars/Sakura Taisen. Phew.

A/N: These were fun. I may write more sometime, workload permitting. Written for the 10 Things That Never Happened to Fill in the Blank Drabble Challenge.

Crossovers That Never Happened

© Scribbler, December 2006.

Never Been Turned

(YGO/B:tVS)

Buffy cornered the vamp in an alley full of smoking vents.

"Even in New York you guys always go for dead ends. Stupid much?"

The vamp had bazoomas so large she couldn't have rung a doorbell without backing up first. This didn't stop her from lunging at Buffy, fangs bared.

Buffy hurtled into her with a solid punch that laid her flat, then followed this up by sitting on that admirable chest and stabbing a stake into her heart.

"Yuugi!" the vamp whispered as she turned to dust.

"And that's how we do it," Buffy announced to Manhattan's newest Slayer.

Never Held a Wand

(YGO/Harry Potter)

"You can't disapperate in school grounds! It's impossible!"

"He's one of Voldemort's!"

"Excuse me, but what the hell?" Yami looked thoroughly confused. He pressed a fingertip against the knobbly stick and shoved it away from his nose. "Aibou?"

Yuugi was rubbing the spot between his eyes. "Yami, usually I'm happy to see you, but your appearance may have just ruined some very delicate negotiations."

Yami took in the ring of robed figures, each brandishing a knobbly stick and an enraged expression. He also noted the way Yuugi was posed against their bespectacled leader, whose stick effervesced.

"Shall I mind-crush them?"

Never Grown Wings

(YGO/Haibane-Renmei)

She woke to the scent of dust and other people, an antiquated smell perfectly matching the creaky floorboards and peeling paint.

"What did you dream of?" the dark haired woman asked, pressing a cup of water into her hands. It was cool, soothing her throat but not her mind.

"I … I don't …" she stuttered and paused.

"It's okay," smiled the youngest of the group. "Take your time."

She worked the heel of one hand against her eye. "Peaches. I dreamed I was eating peaches."

The woman nodded. "Then we will call you Anzu, which means 'peach'."

Never Been Animals

(YGO/Sonic the Hedgehog: SatAM)

"Our access points are here, here and here." Princess Sally pointed on the map. "We have a three minute window after Sonic shuts down the generator before the auxiliary power kicks in."

"Wonderful," Yami sarcasmed.

She treated him to a sceptical look. "You're sure you can handle lookout? It's an important task."

He snorted, tail lashing. He was a hairsbreadth from flattening his ears when Yuugi coughed.

"We'll be in contact through our mind-link. If one of us spots something, the other will know instantly and relay the message."

Sally surveyed the two felines and gave a single curt nod.

Never Been Digivolved

(YGO/Digimon)

"We should start a support group for ex-teenage heroes."

"Totally."

Jounouchi swirled his drink around in its cup and took a swig. Yuk; flat as road-kill.

His cohort knocked back the warm soda like it was a tequila shot and propped his chin on his fist. "I once saved the world. Now I'm at the beck and call of a squalling baby."

"Tell me about it. We've been domesticated, man." Jounouchi shook his head. "I told you I was nearly Duel Monsters World Champ, right?"

"Repeatedly." Ken looked around. "Y'know, our credibility isn't helped by meeting in McDonalds."

"Totally."

Never Met Ghost Hunters

(YGO/Danny Phantom)

"He should be going into the flask! Why isn't he going into the flask?" Tucker waved it at arm's length. "Danny! Help!"

"Is he mentally stable?" Yami deadpanned, arms folded and expression as close to nonplussed as it was likely to get.

"Um, Tucker - " Sam tried.

"Quick, get the Fenton Fisher! Or one of your dad's other doohickies. C'mon, he's just standing there! Perfect target much?"

"Tucker," Danny soothed, "it's okay. He's on our side."

"Sure, that's why he mind-crunched that dude!"

"Mind-crushed, not crunched," Yami corrected.

Yuugi winced. "We really need to work on your interpersonal skills."

Never Been Consulted About Syndication

(YGO/Caroline in the City)

Annie slapped her thigh. "Didn't I tell you she was cute?"

Caroline smiled reassuringly and passed her guest a cup of cocoa. The girl replied with a grateful smile of her own.

"Hey," Annie pouted, "how come she got marshmallows and I didn't?"

"You said you were keeping off the sweets until you got work."

"Well now I'm in work. Make with the floaters!"

Richard paused at his easel. "I didn't just hear that."

Annie stuck out her tongue.

"So, Anzu," Caroline interrupted. "First Broadway show?"

"Yes."

"I'm showing her the ropes," Annie said proudly.

"God help her," Richard punctuated.

Never Had Rump Marks

(YGO/My Little Pony)

Serenity looked like she wanted to cover her eyes with her hooves.

Peach gently nosed her. "Don't worry. He'll get tired and stop chasing them in a minute."

"I'm so embarrassed," Serenity murmured. "I can't believe he did it again."

"He just cares about you."

"He couldn't show it with a hug?" Valentine eyeballed the course. "They're making good time, though. They might actually win a rosette."

"I think Duke and Honda might've liked to compete under their own steam," Peach opined.

Valentine shook out her golden mane. "So who's kicking him, you or me?"

"I'll play you for it."

Never Fought a Bogbeast

(YGO/Dungeons and Dragons)

Mai's smile was edged as she examined her whip.

"I don't like that expression," said Jounouchi, who hadn't let go of his sword since it appeared in his hands.

"So you've been here … how long?" Anzu boggled.

"I can't really remember an exact number. I stopped counting after the first couple of years," Hank shrugged. He had eighties hair. Not a good sign.

Eric poked the fire with his too-shiny shield. "Word of advice: get good shoes. There's a lot of walking involved. And running. And fighting evil."

Yuugi shuddered, but Yami's eyes gleamed. "I like it here already."

Never Been to the Imperial Capitol

(YGO/Sakura Wars)

When she was four years old Daddy took her to see a show at the Rose Theatre for her birthday. They travelled on a tram, a rare treat since at home it was all donkeys and carts.

The women whirled around on stage and sang at the audience with such passion that it brought tears to many eyes. Anzu didn't cry; instead she watched, open-mouthed, spellbound by the beauty of the entire performance.

Waiting for a tram, steam all around them, she told Daddy, "When I grow up, I'm gonna join the Imperial Flower Division and dance just like them.

Fin.