This (no longer!) stand-alone piece is inspired by the "Twenty Facts About..." meme for the Harry Potter fandom and dedicated to my wonderful friend Xiayou (though I dearly hope she doesn't mind the last minute change in gift topics!) She has a gift for choosing the most amazing cards, making the prettiest icons and cheering me up by way of her wonderful journal entries and comments. ;)

Happy upcoming New Years, everyone!

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Title: Twenty Reasons Why Penelo Loves the Taste of Potions

Fandom: Final Fantasy XII

Pairings: Larsa X Penelo

Rating: PG-13, some sexual allusions

Summary: Twenty facts about Larsa and Penelo, found after the game. Because love was never meant to be fully rational in the first place.

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1. Life, Larsa had once told her, was a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel. And they, as she has once told him, were far too intelligent to just feel their way through everything.

2. But that's only part of the reason why she has always thought of whatever they've shared together as a comedy, not a tragedy. He's made her laugh far more often than he's made her cry and that label is the only thing that fits.

3. Life probably should be a tragedy for them. God knows their lives have had more than their fair share of mutual tragedies and deaths-- and that isn't even going into the whole lovers-doomed-by-their-different-stations-in-life thing that they've got going on.

4. But Penelo has had too much practice at being sensible already, and wants nothing more than to be something else entirely. So every morning when she wakes up besides him, she makes sure to start his day by telling him the absolutely filthy jokes she filched second hand from a very drunk (he'd be too afraid to tell them to her otherwise) Vaan.

5. And the way the rumor mill goes into a tizzy every time the emperor of Archadia breaks into a fit of random laughter at otherwise humorless Senate meetings makes all the hang overs that come from trying to drink her insatiable partner under the table worthwhile.

6. Even after years of working as a clerk for Migelo's Sundries, largest purveyor of potions and potions-based products in the Rabanastre area, potions remain a largely acquired taste for Penelo.

However, when said potions began to regularly come to her through the conduit of her lover's lips, she learned to acquire it quite quickly.

7. Secretly, Penelo has always thought that Vayne Solidor was rather attractive, in a I'd-plan-your-imminent-downfall-as-soon-as-look-at-you sort of way.

Luckily, she's also bright enough to realize that telling Larsa this would be equally insane.

8. Larsa was born tone-deaf and did not, up to the point in which he met Penelo, have any idea why music was so loved by almost everyone else around him.

But whenever he watches Penelo dance-- with her hips and her breasts and her back and her legs, with all of her body pressed against his-- he thinks he finally understands why all the fuss about it exists.

9. The first time Larsa kissed her, he did so as though he were desperate, as though he was dying, as though he were seventeen years old and unsure of everything and trying to hold on to something despite that. Hands braced against the wall, he had crushed his hips against hers and pressed his thin chest against her soft breasts and kissed as though he was sure that she'd dissolve like a dream in an instant.

But Penelo had never been the sort of girl that would melt away in the morning mist; one trembling hand fisting around his hair, she had kissed back with as much passion as she had in her to give.

10. Larsa has always been willing to lie to others when it's necessary. That's why he pretends it doesn't bother him at all when Penelo talks about being a sky pirate again with something other than nostalgic wistfulness.

But he would never stop her from going, if that was what she really wanted. He loves her too much to keep her caged.

11. When Penelo was just twelve, she had injured her leg so badly on a trip to the Giza plains that bone had snapped clean through her skin. For a time, she hadn't even been able to move from her bed because of the pain. Though she eventually regained the ability to walk, run and even dance through the streets of Rabanastre, she has never really stopped resenting the mark left behind.

But the first time Larsa runs his tongue along the silvery white scar on her ankle, all she can do is whimper in a way that agony can't possibly create.

12. Nowadays, Basch-- also called Judge Gabranth-- always smiles at her when he sees her entering Larsa's private chambers.

One day, Penelo promises herself, she'll even stop blushing.

13. Love, real love, is all about choosing someone who'd choose you back-- but only for the right reasons. And so, Penelo had once told Larsa that she'd choose him out of all the world... if only he did the same.

But all he had done was laugh and bury his face in her hair and tell her that he had chosen her since he was twelve years old and known no one else could take her place.

14. Penelo lost her virginity when she was only fourteen, when she was young and innocent and hopeless and ignorant, and when all the certainties of her world seemed ready to dissolve away.

And he had been young too, only seventeen for all that he was a new recruit in the Dalmascan army. He had been young and she had been in love and even now, she has never been able to think of that last year of Dalmascan freedom without first thinking of Rek's shaking hands or shuddering breath or the silver tracks her tears had made on his yet unbroken skin.

She has never told Larsa of this because she doesn't want to torment him with what might have been. Sometimes love was as much about what was left unsaid as it was about what was spoken.

15. Conversely, Penelo has never asked Larsa about who his first bed mate was. She is all too afraid of a red haze descending over her eyes, one which would only lead to her ripping the head off of whatever harlot first had him in a jealous rage.

And though he'll never tell her, that notion would only result in self-mutilation, considering that said harlot is none other than herself.

(No one ever said love was particularly rational anyway.)

16. Larsa has loved her since he was twelve years old, since his world first broke apart, since the touch of her hands upon his shoulders had been the only thing keeping him sane.

17. Penelo doesn't remember when she started loving him and doesn't think it much matters either. As long as she has his hands entangled in her own and his laughter ringing in her ears, she'll let history sort out its own pretty tales.

18. Despite everything that seems willing to go wrong in their lives, their love story is going to be a comedy, not a tragedy. Somehow, Penelo vows, she'll make sure of this-- no matter what the current narrative seems to indicate.

19. From the first moment she realized she was in love, Penelo has measured out her life by every breath they share together.

20. She doesn't know yet that Larsa does the same.

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Author's Note: The first true fact was inspired by Horace Walpole's observation that "life is a comedy for those who think... and a tragedy for those who feel."

And if you enjoyed or even disliked this piece, please leave a review for your friendly neighborhood fanfic author. I very, very, very much appreciate every critique I'm given. :)