Written for the ficathon held at the LiveJournal community "More than 1". The request was for a story where "Teyla finds it hard to enter a relationship with John". Spoilers for the season 2 episode Conversion and season 3's The Return I and II.

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The Second Time

This time there is no surprise, no confusion, no concern. His uncertainty is visible in the way he touches her, tentative yet hungry. His gaze flickers repeatedly from her mouth to her eyes as if he expects a sign of disapproval. When he receives none, he leans forward to brush her lips with his.

Every muscle in her body tenses. She wants nothing more than to respond, to satisfy her need as well as his. But her mind has always ruled her heart and there are considerations to be made before she can reciprocate.

He pulls away but keeps his hands on her lower back, caressing and coaxing. His forehead is creased and his eyes are half-closed as he speaks, voice low and desperate. "Teyla?"

"I...I'm...not sure." It ends as a whisper but she can tell from his expression that he has heard her. He retreats quickly and she suddenly feels cold.

"Right." His hands disappear into his pockets almost as if he expects to find an answer there. "Well, I guess I'll leave you to...think about things."

His eyes drift upward from the floor but don't quite reach hers before he turns away and makes for the door, pausing to glance over his shoulder as it opens. When she is alone, Teyla's head falls back against the wall and a bitter laugh escapes as she realises that this is the position that she found herself in after the last time their lips had met. Perhaps they have not progressed as far as she thought. Or at least, she hasn't.

She pushes herself away from the wall and is halfway to the window seat when the door slides open. He pauses in the doorway before striding past her and sitting down next to their bags. She watches for a moment as his hands clasp together tightly. When he finally looks up at her, she joins him.

"I'm probably going to regret this, but I need to know what it is that's holding you back." He risks a sideways glance, and her gaze falls to the floor. "Maybe I read the signs wrong, but I thought we'd moved on. That we'd both moved on. I thought that you wanted this."

"I do." She turns to face him. "I do," she says, a little louder.

"So, what is it?"

"Everything. And nothing." Now it is her turn to wring her hands. "There have been many periods of upheaval in my life, which is often the way in this galaxy. Nothing is constant when living under the shadow of the Wraith."

"And yet, from the moment that you set foot on Athos, my life has become unrecognisable. From waking the Wraith and leaving Athos to gaining Elizabeth's trust and helping to fight back. From losing Aiden, finding Ronon, and living amongst people who are not my own." She catches his wince at the sound of their lost friend's name but continues. "Through it all there has been one constant. You."

He watches her for a moment. "Nothing has to change, you know."

"Is that what you truly want? For everything to be the same, except that we share the same bed?"

He sighs. "No, that's not what I want. As good as that sounds..." He risks a grin as he pauses. "...I was hoping for a little more than that. But you still haven't told me exactly what the problem is."

She shifts on the bench and tucks her hair behind her ear as she considers her response.

"First of all, we are from different galaxies. When all has been said and done, you will return home to Earth. I have no intention of leaving my people, no matter what the reason, and that means that we have no future together. Which makes me wonder if there is a point to starting something that will not lead somewhere. Secondly, we work together, and in hazardous situations. Others may see a relationship between us as problematic in those situations. Thirdly, we are friends and I value that more than anything. You, Rodney and Ronon are the closest I have to a family now and I will not jeopardise that."

John leans back, relaxing a little. "Okay. Number one? Earth isn't home any more, Atlantis is. I thought that that was pretty obvious by now. And as for number two, well, we've been working together for a long time. Do you think that this happened overnight? I've felt like this for almost as long as I've known you, so if my judgement is so susceptible to my feelings, then you're gonna have to question pretty much every decision I've made over the past three years. As for your judgement, I don't think that anyone could ever accuse you of not seeing the bigger picture. And number three? Nothing, and I mean nothing, will change what we have right now. I promise you that."

He gets to his feet abruptly, suddenly embarrassed. "So, that's me, laid out on a plate. Take it or leave it."

She watches in silence as he walks away from her again.

John sits up as the door slides open, alert but surprised as he recognises her form in the bright moonlight. She doesn't hesitate as she moves towards the bed and sits down beside him. He opens his mouth to speak but changes his mind, instead leaning back on his palms and waiting for her to initiate something between them.

Her hands glide over his skin and he catches his breath as her fingertip grazes a nipple. She leans forward and his lips part expectantly. He barely catches her grin as her mouth dips at the last moment and lands on the base of his neck instead. She sucks hard, eliciting a groan as he reaches across to grip her waist. He doesn't resist when she pushes gently against his chest, moving with him as he falls back. Her actions become more insistent as his body begins to respond to her.

"Teyla?" She lifts her head from his chest as she hears the apprehension in his voice. Their mouths meet in a tentative kiss before she takes his head in her hands and returns his gaze with confidence.

"I am sure."