Spiraling Through Air
Yugao
Summary: Tenten had always hated people who spend most of their time crying. So even if Neji's life hangs by a thread, she pretends not to be so upset.
Author's Note: I've been writing other pairings so often I could barely remember how to write a NejiTenten fic – emphasis on barely. Otherwise, this one-shot wouldn't exist at all. So this is to remind myself that when I first entered the fandom, I was an NT writer, and still am. And… this takes place around the Sasuke retrieval arc, after the team was brought back to Konoha – Neji was badly hurt, remember? And… okay, so just catch up on it yourselves. Thanks!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
The stern black second-hand moved over the black boldface numbers on the clock in time with the ominous tick-tock as each moment passed. Distant footfalls rose and faded, and these soft, indistinct noises reverberated through the hollow corridor painted white. Somewhere, behind a closed door perhaps, were muffled voices filled with worry.
And why shouldn't they be? It was only that morning that the Uchiha-retrieval mission had been declared a failure, and Shikamaru's team of genin had been immediately brought to the hospital.
She didn't hear a thing the voices said, and she wouldn't have been able to understand had she really tried to listen. Her heart was palpitating, and her breaths came short and ragged. She could barely even hear herself think – and at that moment, her thoughts flooded her mind, threatening almost to drown her.
She wanted to calm herself, tell herself she was fine, that her teammates would survive and life would go on normally afterwards. They'd return to their usual training area, with Gai-sensei and Lee running several hundred laps around the village, while she and Neji sparred as they always did. She longed for those days – they seemed like forever, even if they couldn't have possibly been more than two weeks ago.
But how could she stay calm when she knew that those moments might never happen again? Memories of that morning returned to her mind, when she first found out they had come back to Konoha.
"Gai-sensei!" she called out to her mentor, who had given a sigh as he descended the hospital steps. She caught her breath as she stood before him. "Gai-sensei… is… is it true? That they're back, I mean?"
Her teacher afforded a sad smile, if only to satisfy her. "Yes, Tenten, they're back," his reply was too short to settle her, though. It only made her even more nervous.
"How are they? Neji – Lee?" she asked anxiously. Her eyes searched his restlessly. They had to be all right. How could they not be? They were two of the most capable genin in Konoha. Maybe she was just worrying herself for nothing. Hopefully.
Maito Gai retained his smile, but now it seemed rather forced and insincere. "Lee is fine. He's just resting, is all. And Neji…" at this point his grin faded entirely and he looked at her with concern in his dark eyes. "Neji's badly injured."
"How badly?" she pressed on. Fear was gnawing at her from the inside, and she wanted nothing more than to be assured that both of her teammates were fine. She had relaxed a little at the knowledge that Lee was doing well, but Neji… she bit her lip. She repeated, "How badly, Gai-sensei?"
He sighed. "Tenten, a few major organs were damaged. Shizune and the others aren't even sure they can heal him in time."
"That can't be true," she said obstinately, though her voice quivered with anxiety, "Tsunade-sama would find a way. Right, Gai-sensei?"
He shook his head. "We'll just have to hope so, Tenten."
She gripped the edge of the bench tightly; almost as if she wanted to assure herself that everything would turn out fine. Sure, the cleansing and healing operations on Neji weren't exactly routinely done; in fact they'd barely ever been used over the years. But what else could she do but put her faith in the people who held his life in their hands?
She shivered at the loneliness of the empty corridor. She'd always hated the hospital, with its blank white walls, fluorescent white lights, and tiled white floors. It seemed to emanate sadness and mourning even on its better days, and Tenten was never the type of person who stayed upset for too long. She had that uncanny ability to find the silver lining in every situation.
But for some reason, it wasn't working that day.
She had gone to see Lee first, even though she knew she could take Gai-sensei's word for it that he was fine. She pushed Neji out of her head temporarily, thinking that he was fine and that her mentor was overreacting once more; she knew in her heart he wouldn't joke about such a grievous matter.
She knocked on the door, waiting for a reply as she stood outside the hospital room. "Come in!" came Lee's chipper voice, making her smile a little as she turned the doorknob and entered. She'd brought him a bouquet of fresh yellow daisies, happy as his disposition usually was. Her friend smiled. "Thank you, Tenten, that was very thoughtful of you."
"You're welcome," she said, making an effort to sound glad, but failing. Hoping he didn't catch on, she put them on the empty vase at his bedside. "How are you feeling?"
He looked at her with a confused expression on his face. "I feel fine, Tenten, but… didn't you hear?" he asked, and the words drained her face of color so much that she diverted her gaze from his eyes to the floor.
"Hear… about what?" her voice strained, but she struggled to keep it even.
"Neji… they're not sure he'll make it all right. Gai-sensei was just here to see me, and he told me everything. Tenten…" he made her look up at home, and he offered her a hopeful smile. "We can only hope he'll get better. He's been in there for hours, and several medic-nin have had to come in since then to help."
She shuddered. "We'll just have to hope so," she echoed Gai-sensei's words quietly, not looking up into her teammate's eyes for fear of what she would see: sympathy, pity. Two things she didn't need.
"He's strong," Lee answered, and she wondered if it was to assure her or to assure himself. He sighed. "He's strong. He'll make it. Just trust him, Tenten."
"Just trust him, Tenten."
Lee's words returned to her, and her eyes welled up with tears. For once she felt scared, felt driven to tears. But she wouldn't let herself cry. She didn't dare let the tears fall. She knew that she had to be strong, too; she would trust him. She would trust that he would stay, that he wouldn't leave her alone, that he wouldn't let her go.
But she was quickly losing her strength; she no longer knew if she should still trust him as much as she had before.
She had known Neji for years, since their days in the academy. She never said so, but she had always been in awe of his fighting prowess, his intelligence, and his sheer strength to overcome the odds. Though it could be contested that Neji was barely ever in an underdog situation, she always knew she could put her faith in him. She always thought he would eventually break free from his weaknesses; she always thought she could trust him.
So why was it so difficult to do just that, when she'd been doing it for years?
She'd never felt so afraid for him before.
Slowly, painfully, the door beside her opened; Shizune appeared in the corridor, breathless and weary. She cast a glance at the young kunoichi sitting there, and asked, "Tenten, have you seen Tsunade-sama? I have to tell her!"
"N-no…" she stuttered, "Tell her what, Shizune-san?"
As the Fifth Hokage's apprentice walked away, she turned and smiled hopefully. "The operation was a success. Hyuuga Neji will be fine."
Tenten had never before felt so much emotion wash over her. Her thoughts were anger, hope, happiness, relief, and misery in a tumult within her. And yet, all she could do was stand there, numbly, in that bare, blank white corridor reminiscent of her fears and pain.
Hesitatingly, she pushed the door open; it was strangely cold to her touch. Little by little, she received a view of the room: like every wall, every floor, every ceiling in the hospital, it was painted white. Sitting up on a white-sheeted bed, looking very tired but very much alive was Hyuuga Neji.
She scarcely dared enter the room but entered it, scarcely dared say his name but said it. "Neji…" it escaped her lips as no more than a whisper.
He looked up at her, and his pallid eyes betrayed a shred of feeling. "Tenten," he said her name emotionlessly, listlessly, but the very sound of it made the tears return to her eyes. Only that morning she had thought she would never hear him say that again.
"I…" she stood there at his bedside, watching him at his weakest. Despite all the bandages, all the cuts and bruises, he seemed so strong. And though she stood beside him, she felt weak somehow. She took a deep breath, but the tears had threatened to fall, so she turned away instead.
He was watching her, her shoulders quivering with her suppressed tears, her whole self shaking from want of something to say. Both of them had left several things unsaid – what they lacked were the words with which to say it.
Without turning around to look at him, Tenten murmured, "I'm glad you're back."
And Neji knew that saying those simple words took everything from her, as his own battle had taken everything from him. He offered her a sad smile, one she never saw, and whispered back, "Thank you… for trusting me."
Author's Note: The angst burns! I stayed up almost an hour past my bedtime to finish writing this. Yes, I have a bedtime, sucks, doesn't it? Anyway, please be kind enough to leave a review so I can get some sleep. Thanks loads for reading, I hope you enjoyed it!