Family Guy
Stewie Loves Brian
One night Stewie has a weird dream.
Stewie goes downstairs to see Brian lying on the couch. "Hello Brian," He says.
"Oh, hi there Stewie." Brian replies.
Stewie smiles at Brian.
"What," Brian says. "Is there something on my nose?"
"No silly," Stewie says. "I just noticed how cute your wiggly little tail is!"
"What the heck?" Brian says.
Stewie goes and sits down on the couch.
"So, wonder what's on TV?" Brian says awkwardly.
"I don't know," Stewie smiles. "Why don't you check me out?"
"Huh?" Brian says.
"Why don't you check?" Stewie says.
"Um, are you okay Stewie?" Brian asks.
"As long as I'm with you." Stewie says, twirling his hair with his finger.
Stewie wakes up, but he still thinks he's dreaming. He goes downstairs to find Brian eating cereal.
"Hey there Brian." Stewie says.
"Hi." Brian says mouth full of fruit loops.
Stewie gets up.
"Well, bye bye Brian!" Stewie says. He waves and leaves.
"That was weird." Brian says and eats his fruit loops.
Stewie goes to a little corner store. He knows the owner. The owner goes by 'Peter Senorita'. Senorita has all sorts of magic potions.
"Good morning Stewart." Senorita says.
"Good morning. Listen PS, I need a love potion. EXTRA STRONG." Stewie says.
"Who's the lucky lady?" Senorita asks.
"Not lady, dog." Stewie replies.
Senorita looks at him.
"Just give me the god damn potion!" Stewie cries.
Stewie is given a grey potion.
"Looks like the casserole Lois made for dinner last night." Stewie says.
Brian is watching TV and drinking beer with Peter. Stewie comes in and goes over to Brian. The love potion in his hand.
"Hey Brian," Stewie says. "What's that?" He points towards the kitchen.
"Huh?" Brian says, looking towards the kitchen.
Stewie pours the potion into Brian's beer.
"I don't see anything!" Brian says and takes a sip of his beer.
He looks at his beer.
"That's strange, it tastes…STEWIE! DID YOU DRUG MY BEER? I…I…I…I love you!" Brian says.
Peter looks at Brian then yells, "Lois, I think Brian has worms!"
For a couple of days Stewie and Brian were dating.
Then one day Stewie says to Brian, "This dream is a bit long, don't you think?"
"What are you talking about Stewie Sweetie? We're not dreaming." Brian says.
"But…but…" Stewie stammers. Then he pinched himself. "Dear mother of god, I'm not dreaming!" Stewie runs to his room.
"You drugged Brian?" Lois says.
"Oh good. Brian doesn't have worms after all. I guess he didn't need those pills. Right Brian?" Peter says.
Brian is lying unconscious on the floor. He is asleep from all of the pills he took.
"I thought I was dreaming." Stewie says.
"Well, are you?" Peter asks.
Everyone looks at Peter.
"Yeah, I'm going to the Drunken Clam…"Peter says. He starts to walk away slowly, and then he turns and runs.
Peter is sitting with Joe, Quagmire, and Cleveland at the Drunken Clam. They are drinking beers.
"I know these two gay guys," Peter says after finishing his fourth beer.
"I like gay guys, if they're girls. Giggidy!" Quagmire says.
"Well they're guys. They're Stewie and Brian." Peter says taking another sip of his beer.
"A dog and a baby?" Joe says.
"Well what are you going to do?" Cleveland asks.
"I'll have to break them up." Peter says and then faints cuz he's drunk.
Stewie walks into the living room. He sees Brian and he turns around to leave.
"Stewie, listen," Brian says. "I know what you did to me. It was not a good thing to do. Love can't be forced, and if it's love caused by a potion, it's cheating. It's fake. Love comes from in your heart. It's only real love if that person loves you back,"
"Oh Brian," Stewie says. "That was a beautiful speech! I…I think I'm actually falling in love with you!"
"Whoa," Brian says backing up. "Let's not go that far. Listen, you probably aren't thinking straight. Go take a nap and later we'll straighten things out."
Stewie agrees and goes upstairs to his room.
Peter writes two notes:
Deer Brian,
I'm braking up with u.
From Stewie
Deer Stewie
I'm braking up with u.
From Brian
He puts one in Stewie's room and one on the couch.
Stewie wakes up. He sees the note.
"That son of a bitch." Stewie says.
He loads one of his guns and runs downstairs.
Brian is reading a note.
"What the heck were you thinking, breaking up with me?" Stewie yells, pointing the gun at Brian.
"What are you talking about? You broke up with me!" Brian says.
"What?" Stewie says and takes the note from Brian.
Brian reads the note Stewie got.
"They're exactly the same." Brian says.
They turn around to see Peter trying to hide behind a lamp.
"Hello Brian, hello Stewie," Peter says. "Don't mind me; I'm just changing the light bulb."
Peter unscrews the light bulb when the light is still on and he gets electrocuted and is knocked out.
Three weeks later…
All the Griffins are sitting at the table eating dinner.
"I guess I learned my lesson." Stewie says.
"And what's that?" Brian asks.
"Always make sure you're not dreaming before drugging a dog to make him fall in love with you." Stewie says.
"And what did you learn Peter?" Lois says, looking at Peter who is in a body cast.
"Mmmhmmm Mmmhmmm." Peter says.
"Good." Lois says.
Peter tries to put the fork in his mouth but he can't cuz his mouth is covered.
Then he falls over and his face goes in his food.