Part Three

As the clock winded its ways down to 12:30, Hermione, Harry, Draco, Luna and Neville sat on the floor of the library in a circle, discussing school among other things.

"What would you do for a million galleons, Harry?" Hermione asked him, smiling.

Harry frowned. "Hmmm…what would I do for a million galleons?" he repeated, his face creased with thought. "Well, I guess I'd do as little as I had to," he concluded.

Hermione snorted. "That's boring," she replied, rolling her eyes.

"Well, how am I supposed to answer?" Harry asked.

"The idea, Harry, is to search your mind for the absolute limit," Hermione told him. "Like…um," she said, trying to think of something daring and risky. "Like…would you walk to the Leaky Cauldron absolutely naked?"

Harry laughed. "Would I have to wear the invisibility cloak?" he asked.

Hermione shook her head mischievously. "No cloak," she said.

"To the front of the inn or the back?" he asked.

"Either," she answered.

"Yes. I'd do it," Harry told her.

Hermione's mouth flew open. She then laughed.

"I'd do that, too," Luna said. Everyone turned to look at her. "I'll do anything sexual. I don't need a million galleons to do it, either."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You're lying," she said.

"I already have," Luna insisted. "I've done just about everything there is. Except for a few things that are illegal. I'm a nymphomaniac!"

Hermione rolled her eyes again. "Lie," she said.

"Is anyone in your family aware of this?" Neville asked, looking concerned.

"The only person I ever told was my shrink-healer at St. Mungo's," Luna replied.

"And what'd he do when you told him?" Harry asked.

Luna grinned. "He nailed me!" she said.

Hermione looked disgusted. "Very nice," she said sarcastically.

"I don't think that from a legal standpoint what he did can be construed as rape because I paid him," Luna added.

Hermione's mouth flew open with disgust. "But he's an adult!" she exclaimed, aghast.

"Yeah! Plus, he's married, too!" Luna added, smiling happily.

"Ugh! Do you have any idea how absolutely gross that sounds?" Hermione asked, her face twisted with horror and disgust.

"Well, the first few times-" Luna began.

"First few times!? You mean he's done it more than once?" Hermione asked.

Luna shrugged. "Sure," she said.

"Are you crazy?"

"Obviously she's crazy if she's screwing her shrink-healer," Neville said.

Luna looked at Hermione with a straight face. "Have you ever done it?" she asked.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I don't even have a psychiatrist," she said, trying to avoid Luna's question.

"Okay, have you ever done it with a normal person?" Luna rephrased.

"Didn't we already cover this?" Hermione asked annoyingly.

"You never answered the question," Draco pointed out.

"Look, I'm not about to discuss my private life in front of all of you, so forget about it, alright!" Hermione replied.

"It's kind of like a double-edged sword, isn't it?" Luna asked.

"A what?" Hermione asked, glaring at Luna.

"Well, if you say you haven't had sex, you're a prude. If you say you have, you're a slut. It's a trap. You want to, but you can't. But when you do, you wish you didn't, right?" Luna asked.

Hermione shook her head. "Wrong," she told her sneeringly.

"Or are you a tease?" Luna asked.

"She's a tease," Draco concluded.

"Why don't you forget it?" Hermione asked again.

"Just admit it: You're a tease. All girls are teases," Harry replied.

"She's only a tease if what she does makes you hot," Draco clarified.

"I don't do anything!" Hermione exclaimed.

"That's why…you're a tease," Luna taunted.

Hermione smiled a little as she decided to turn the tables on Luna.

"Okay, let me ask you a few questions," she said to Luna. Luna looked defensive.

"I've already told you everything!" she cried out.

"No! Doesn't it bother you to sleep around without being in love? I mean, don't you want any respect?"

Luna smirked at Hermione. "I don't screw to get respect. That's the difference between you and me," she said to her evenly.

"Not the only difference, I hope," Hermione remarked.

"Face it, Granger," Draco replied. "You're a tease."

"I'm not a tease!" Hermione insisted.

"Sure you are. You said it yourself. Sex is a weapon. You use it to get respect."

Hermione's mouth flew open. "I never said that! She twisted my words around!" she protested.

"Are you medically frigid, Granger, or it psychological?" Draco asked, trying to push Hermione's buttons.

"I didn't mean it that way! You lot are putting words into my mouth!"

"Well, we wouldn't if you'd just answer the question," Draco replied, rolling his eyes.

"Why don't you just answer the question?" Neville agreed.

"Be honest," Harry added.

"Yeah, no big deal, Granger," Draco said.

"Yeah, come on! Answer it!" Neville said.

"Answer the question, Hermione!" Harry prodded.

"Talk to us!" Draco said.

Hermione put both of her hands to her head, feeling the immense pressure she was under.

"NO! ALRIGHT! I NEVER DID IT!" she screamed, shutting everyone else up.

Everyone was finally quiet. A second later, Luna spoke up.

"I never did it, either," she admitted, nearly smiling. Everyone turned to look at her in shock and confusion. "I'm not a nymphomaniac. I'm a compulsive liar."

Hermione's face went red with anger and embarrassment. "You are such a bitch!" she raged, glaring at Luna. "You did that on purpose just to fuck me over!"

"I would do it, though," Luna explained. "If you love someone, it's okay."

Hermione shook her head with contempt and anger. "I can't believe you," she ranted. "You're so weird. You don't say anything all day and then when you open your mouth, you unload all these tremendous lies all over me!"

"You're just pissed off because she got you to admit to something you didn't want to admit to," Harry said.

"Okay, fine! But it doesn't make it any less bizarre!"

"What's bizarre?" Harry asked. "I mean, we're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it than others, that's all."

"How are you bizarre?" Hermione asked him.

"He can't think for himself," Luna said, speaking for him.

Harry nodded. "She's right," he said. Everyone went quiet for a second or two.

"Hey," Harry spoke up. "Do you guys want to know what I did to get in here? I put a hex on Euan Abercrombie."

Neville looked surprised. "That was you?" he asked.

"You know him?" Harry asked.

Neville nodded. "Not personally, but I know him," he said.

"Well, I guess you know how skinny and weak he is, huh? When they were taking the hex off in the infirmary, I heard that some of the hair from his body came off. Some skin, too."

Hermione winced. "Oh, my God," she said.

"And the bizarre thing was, is that I did it because of my uncle Vernon. I tortured that poor kid because of how angry I was at my uncle. He hates people who are weak. He's always been sort of abusive towards me, you know? So I'm leaving Quidditch practice to go back to the Gryffindor common room when I saw this kid Euan Abercrombie and these thoughts about my uncle and his attitudes towards weakness flew throughout my mind. And the next thing I knew, all these frustrations built up inside me and this hex flew from my wand. All of my teammates on my team were there, laughing and cheering me on. And when I sat in Snape's office, all I could think about was Abercrombie's father, him having to explain what happened to him when he returned from school and the humiliation, the fucking humiliation he must have felt," Harry paused as he started to cry. "I mean, how do you apologize for something like that? There's just no way. It's all because of him, my aunt and my cousin. I fucking hate them! 'We won't tolerate any losers or freaks in this family! You're nothing but a freak, you worthless piece of shit!'" Harry quoted his uncle. He then continued. "You know, sometimes I wish Lord Voldemort would kill me or someone would kill them so I wouldn't ever have to see them again," he said, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"I think my family and your family should get together for tea," Draco said, breaking the awkward silence.

Harry breathed a small laugh as he continued wiping the tears from his face.

Neville stood up, wiping his eyes. "It's like me, you know," he said. "With my grades. Like when I step outside myself. When I take a look at myself, I don't like what I see. I really don't."

"Why don't you like yourself?" Hermione asked sadly.

"I'm stupid because I'm failing Divination. See, Professor Trelawney gave us this assignment to write down everything we were thinking about everyday in this diary. We had eight weeks to do it and at the end of the eight weeks, she would use our thoughts to see our inner minds or whatever. I hardly wrote anything in it because I was busy trying to keep up with all my other classes, you know? I got a Dreadful on it and I never got a D in my life. When I saw I had that class, I thought it'd be a real easy way to maintain my grade point average."

Draco frowned. "Why'd you think it'd be easy?" he asked.

"Have you seen some of the dopes that pass Divination?" Neville asked incredulously.

"I'm actually passing Divination," Draco replied. "You must be a fucking idiot!" he snapped.

"I'm a fucking idiot because I can't keep a journal?" Neville asked.

"No, you're a genius because you can't keep a journal."

"What do you know about Herbology?" Neville asked him.

"I could care less about Herbology," Draco replied.

"Well, did you know that without plants, humans wouldn't be able to breathe fresh oxygen?" Neville asked.

"Without birthdays, there'd be no zodiac," Draco replied.

"Okay," Hermione butted in. "So, neither of you are better than the other."

"I can write with my toes!" Luna replied, feeling left out. "I can also eat, brush my teeth-"

"With your feet?" Hermione asked.

"And play the Hogwarts school song on the piano," Luna finished.

"I can make spaghetti," Neville said.

"What can you do?" Hermione asked Harry.

"I can, uh, hex all the hair off your heads," he said, chuckling a little.

"I want to see what Hermione can do," Draco replied, turning to Hermione.

Hermione shook her head. "I can't do anything," she said modestly.

"Everybody can do something," Draco replied. "I mean, have you seen how Olivander keeps track of every single wand he sells? He's been doing that for practically forever."

Hermione sighed. "Well…I can do this one thing. No, wait. Forget it. It's way too embarrassing."

"Come on, do it. I wanna see!" Luna said.

Hermione sighed again. "Okay, but you lot have to promise not to laugh."

Everyone, including Draco, promised.

Hermione reached into her purse and pulled out her lipstick. "I cannot believe I'm doing this," she muttered. She put the lipstick in between her cleavage, put her head down and applied the lipstick to her lips. She then brought her head up and took the lipstick from her cleavage, the lipstick on her lips applied perfectly. Everyone clapped with enthusiasm, except for Draco, who was clapping very slowly with sarcasm.

"Where'd you learn that?" Harry asked.

"At Muggle primary school, when I was nine," Hermione replied as she put the lipstick back into her purse.

"That was great, really great, Granger," Draco drawled sarcastically. "My image of you is totally blown!"

Luna glared at him. "You're a shit," she said to Draco. "Don't do that to her! You promised you wouldn't laugh!"

"Am I laughing?" Draco asked her.

"You fucking prick!" Harry replied, glaring at Draco.

Draco glared back. "What do you care what I think anyways, Potter? I don't even count, right? I could disappear forever and it wouldn't make any difference. I may as well not even exist at this school, remember?" he asked, quoting Harry's words from earlier in the day. He turned to Hermione. "And you don't like me, anyway," he replied.

"I have just as many feelings as you do and it hurts just as much when somebody steps all over them!" Hermione replied, her face blotchy with tears.

"Goodness, you're so pathetic!" Draco said angrily. "Don't you ever compare yourself to me, okay? You've got everything and I've got shit! Fuckin' Rapunzel, right? This school would probably shut down if you ever left. Princess Hermione isn't here!" He exclaimed.

He glanced at the earrings Hermione was wearing. "I like those earrings, Granger?" he said.

"Shut up," Hermione said.

"Are those real diamonds, Granger?" Draco asked her tauntingly.

"Shut up!" Hermione said, her voice escalating.

"I bet they are," Draco continued.

"Shut your mouth!"

"Have you ever worked at all to get those earrings? Or did your mommy or daddy buy you those?"

"Shut up!" Hermione replied furiously as she started to cry.

"I bet they did buy those for you! I'll bet those are a Christmas gift! You know what I got for Christmas this year? It was a banner fucking year at the old Malfoy house! I didn't receive anything because my fucking father's in Azkaban and my mother's all fucked up in the head, sleeping around with other blokes! At least you've got parents that give a damn about you! Okay, so go home and cry to your daddy. Don't cry here."

Harry shook his head. "Merlin, are we going to end up like our families?" he asked.

Hermione shook her head firmly. "Not me," she said. "Not ever."

"It's unavoidable," Luna replied. "It just happens."

"What happens?" Hermione asked.

"When you grow up, your heart dies," Luna explained, on the verge of tears.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Who cares?" he asked.

"I care," Luna said, almost in a whisper. Her eyes were full of tears.

Neville looked up. "Um, I was just thinking," he said. "I mean, I know it's kind of a weird time, but I was just wondering…uh…what's going to happen to all of us come Monday? When we're all really together again? I mean, I consider you guys my friends. I'm not wrong, am I?"

"No," Harry replied.

"So, on Monday, what happens?" Neville asked.

"Are we all still friends, you mean?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah."

"Do you want the truth, Neville?" Hermione asked.

Neville nodded. "Yes. I want the truth."

"I don't think so," Hermione admitted.

"Well, do you mean with all of us or just Draco?" Luna questioned.

"With all of you," Hermione stated.

"That's a real nice attitude, Hermione," Harry told her bitterly.

"Oh, be honest, Harry," Hermione replied. "What if Neville came walking up to you in the Great Hall on Monday? What would you do? I mean, picture this: You're there with all your teammates. I know exactly what'd you do: You'd say hi to him and then when he left, you'd make fun of him so all your friends wouldn't think that you really liked him."

Harry shook his head. "No way," he said.

"'Kay, what if I came up to you?" Luna asked.

"Same thing," Hermione told her.

"You are a bitch!" Draco yelled suddenly at Hermione furiously.

"Why? Because I'm telling the truth? That makes me a bitch?" Hermione asked angrily.

"No! Because you know how shitty that is to do to someone and you don't have the guts to stand up to your friends and tell them you're gonna like who you wanna like!"

"Okay, what you, you hypocrite?" Hermione snapped. "Why don't you take Luna to one of your heavy metal vomit parties? Or take Neville out to the Quidditch grounds at lunch to get high? What about Harry? What about me for that matter? What would your friends say if they saw us walking down the corridors together? I know exactly what they'd do: They'd laugh their asses off and you'd probably tell them you had nothing to do with me so they'd forgive you for being seen with me."

Draco looked angry. "Don't you ever talk about my friends!" he shouted. "You don't even know any of my friends, you don't look at any of my friends and you most certainly wouldn't condescend to speak to any of my friends! So you just stick to the things you know; shopping, nail polish, your Muggle father's cars and your poor-rich-drunk mother in the Caribbean!"

"SHUT UP!" Hermione shouted furiously, reaching out to kick Draco. She missed and angry tears streamed down her face.

"As far as being concerned about what's gonna happen when you and I walk down the corridors at school, you can forget it! Because it's never gonna happen, okay!? Just bury your head in the sand and wait for the next fucking Yule Ball!" he continued.

"I hate you!" Hermione screeched.

"Yeah? Good!"

There was silence.

"Then, I assume that Luna and I are better people than you lot, huh?" Neville asked. "Us weirdoes?" He turned to face Luna. "Would you do that to me?" he asked her.

"I don't have any friends," Luna told him.

"Well, if you did," Neville said, giving her a scenario.

Luna shook her head. "No," she replied. "I don't think those are the kinds of friends I'd have in mind."

Neville gave her a small smile. Then he turned to face everyone else. "Well, I just want to tell each of you that I wouldn't do that," he said truthfully. "I wouldn't and will not! Because I think that's real shitty."

"Your friends wouldn't mind because they look up to us," Hermione said.

Neville took a deep breath as he tried not to cry, but instead he almost laughed.

"You're so conceited, Hermione," he said, shaking his head as he tried to wipe the tears from his eyes. "You're so conceited. You're so full of yourself. Why are you like that?"

"I'm not saying that to be conceited," Hermione said as she started to cry again. "I hate it! I hate having to go along with everything my friends say!"

"Well, then why do you do it?" Neville asked.

"I don't know. I really don't. You just don't understand, Neville. You're not friends with the same kinds of people Harry and I are friends with! You know, you just don't understand the pressure they can put on you!"

Neville gave Hermione a shocked look. "I don't understand what? You think I don't understand pressure, Hermione? Well fuck you! Fuck you!" Neville yelled. He bowed his head as he started to cry. "Do you guys know why I'm here?" he asked. "DO YOU!?"

He brought his head up. "I'm here because a prefect found a gun in my trunk."

"Why'd you have a gun in your trunk?" Harry asked him, somewhat sternly.

"I tried. That stupid fucking diary…I tried to keep up with it and I didn't…I mean…"

"What's the gun for, Neville?" Harry asked again.

"Just forget it," Neville said.

"You brought it up!"

"I can't have a D. I can't have it and I know my grandmother can't have it. Even if I aced the rest of the semester, I'm still only an Acceptable. And everything's ruined for me!"

"Oh, Neville," Hermione said sympathetically. Neville slammed his arm into one of the chairs in frustration.

"So, I consider my options, you know?" Neville continued.

"No, Neville! Killing yourself is not an option!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Well, I didn't do it, did I? No, I don't think so!" Neville snapped.

"It was a Muggle handgun?" Luna asked.

"No, it was one of those flare guns. It went off in my trunk."

"Really?" Harry asked, trying hard not to laugh.

"It's not funny," Neville said. Everyone else began to laugh. After a while, Neville started laughing. "Yes, it is," he agreed. "That fucking diary burned to cinders," he added.

"You wanna know what I did to get in here?" Luna asked. She smiled, not waiting for a reply. "Nothing. I didn't have anything better to do," she admitted.

Everyone cracked up.

"You're laughing at me!" Luna exclaimed.

"No, we aren't!" Harry said.

Luna began laughing. "Yeah, you are," she said.

Everyone fell on the floor with laughter.

Later that day, after the five students finished dancing in the library to a small magical radio Luna had smuggled in from home, Draco made his way back to the closet through the ceiling. Harry, Hermione, Luna and Neville all sat on the second story railing chatting with each other.

"Neville?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to write your paper?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well, don't you think it's kind of a waste for all of us to write a paper, don't you think?"

"But that's what Professor Snape wants us to do," Neville said.

"True, but I think we'd all kind of say the same thing."

"You just don't want to write your paper," Neville said.

Hermione blushed. "True, but you're very smart, Neville."

"Please. I'm not half as smart as you, Hermione."

Hermione laughed. "Neville, you're the one who has the special way of words. I'm no poet when it comes to writing creative things. We all trust you," she said.

Neville glanced at Harry and Luna, who both nodded in approval.

"Oh, well," Neville said proudly. "Alright, I'll do it."

Hermione smiled at him. "Great," she said with a reassuring grin.

Hermione and Luna looked at one another. Hermione tugged the sleeve of Luna's sweater.

"Come on," she said to Luna.

"Where're we going?" Luna asked her in surprise.

"Come on!" Hermione said.

Hermione took Luna to a nearby ladies' room and began her work of putting makeup on Luna.

"Don't be afraid," Hermione said to Luna as she attempted to put light-colored eyeliner under Luna's eyes.

"Don't stick that in my eye!" Luna exclaimed.

"I'm not sticking it. Just close your eyes. Like this." Hermione demonstrated by closing her eyes and Luna copied her.

"Good," Hermione said, continuing putting on the eyeliner. Luna squealed.

"You know, you really do look a lot better without all that black shit under your eyes," Hermione complemented, referring to the dark eyeliner Luna had been wearing earlier.

"Hey, I like that black shit," Luna replied.

"Now, this looks a lot better," Hermione said. "Look up," she said, applying mascara to Luna's long eyelashes.

"Please, why're you being so nice to me?" Luna asked.

Hermione paused in her work. She gave Luna a bright smile. "Because you're letting me," she answered.

Luna smiled back.

As Neville began writing the paper and Harry was sitting down with boredom, Hermione found Draco in the supply closet.

She ducked in and closed the door behind her with her back.

"Are you lost?" Draco asked teasingly. He smiled at her, folding his arms.

Meanwhile, Luna timidly walked back into the classroom. Neville did a double take when he saw Luna. Luna had gone through a major transformation. Hermione had swept all her hair back away from her face and put on one of her blue headbands. Luna was wearing light blush on her cheeks, light eyeliner underneath her eyes and the mascara she was wearing made her eyelashes look longer than they were.

Neville looked at her with his mouth open. Luna glared at him.

Neville smiled at Luna. "Cool," he complemented her.

Luna smiled at him. "Thank you," she said.

Back in the closet, Hermione reached out and kissed Draco. After the brief kiss, the two of them smiled at each other.

"Why'd you do that?" Draco asked her.

"Because I knew you wouldn't," she told him. There was a brief silence before Hermione spoke again.

"Tell me something," Hermione said. "Were you really disgusted about how I put on my lipstick?" she asked, referring to the small trick she had done with the lipstick earlier.

"The truth?" Draco asked. He then smiled at her. "No," he answered.

Hermione smiled at him again, throwing her arms around him.

In the library, Neville had finished his paper. He kissed the top of it with approval and happiness. He gave himself a pat on the shoulder for a job well done. Meanwhile, Harry beamed at Luna, glancing at her with approve.

"What happened to you?" he asked.

"Why? Hermione did it! What's wrong?" Luna asked, building up self-conscience defense around her.

"Nothing's wrong," Harry told her. "It's just so different, that's all. I can see your face."

Luna frowned. "Is that good or bad?" she asked.

"It's good!" Harry said, smiling. He chuckled. Luna smiled.

At the end of the detention, the five students walked down the corridor to their respective places. Mr. Filch was sweeping the floors, muttering under his breath about how dirty and filthy all the Hogwarts students were. He looked up and his eyes nearly bulged out of his sockets. Hermione Granger's head was resting on Draco Malfoy's shoulder; Harry Potter was holding hands with Luna Lovegood and Neville Longbottom looked as if he were on cloud nine.

Mr. Filch scratched his head in confusion.

"See you next Saturday," Draco told him cheerfully as the five of them passed him.

"Uh, yes," he replied.

Draco escorted Hermione to Gryffindor's portrait hole. He kissed her. Hermione had to break the kiss to breathe. She took off one of her diamond earrings and gave it to Draco to keep as a keepsake. She waved to Draco, muttered the password and disappeared inside the common room. After she'd gone, Draco put the earring on.

Harry escorted Luna to her portrait hole in Ravenclaw. As the two of them kissed, Luna had ripped a small part of Harry's robes off his shoulder. After the two of them stopped kissing, Luna smiled at him and took off inside her common room after muttering her password.

Draco took off for the Quidditch field and went to his respective dorm back at Slytherin House, pumping his fist in the air.

Back in the library, Professor Snape went inside to collect the essays. Instead, he found one parchment on the table Neville Longbottom had been sitting at. He picked it up and began to read:

Dear Professor Snape,

We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice an entire Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us. In the simplest of terms, in the most convenient of definitions. But what we found out is that each of us is…

Neville: A brain

Harry: And an athlete

Luna: And a basket case

Hermione: A princess

Draco: And a criminal

Does that answer your question?

Sincerely yours,

The Breakfast Club

The End