Author Note: I think I'll turn this into a series of stories about the Turks… stay tuned. Oh yeah, feel free to give me some ideas! I love doing requests if I run short on ideas.

Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own Final Fantasy VII or the Turks. Sigh…

"Grrr… Hurry it up, yo!"

Rude raised an eyebrow as Reno, never known for being patient, hit the non-responding elevator with his nightstick. The redhead growled angrily when the elevator still refused to open.

"President of the most powerful company in the world, and he…won't…even…put…in…A…WORKING…ELEVATOR!" he said in an increasingly loud voice. He was about to rant some more about Rufus Shinra's 'cheapskate-ness' when his other two coworkers arrived at the elevator. There was a short (and for Reno and Rude, embarrassing) pause.

Tseng finally took the initiative to break the awkward silence:

"…What are you guys doing?"

Reno looked at the elevator, and then back to his boss. "Is this some kind of rhetorical question, or what? I'm trying to get the elevator to work, what the hell does it look like we're doing?"

Elena, who had been inspecting the elevator's button panel with Rude, looked up. "I'm sorry, Sir. It's not going to work anytime soon. Someone spilled beer in it and it looks like some of the fuses have blown."

All eyes were now on Reno and Rude. Tseng looked at the two and said wearily, "Please don't tell me you two did this."

Rude looked rather uncomfortable in the center of attention. After a short moment, he pointed at his partner. "…it was Reno."

"Rude! You're a traitor!" Reno quickly hid what looked like a beer behind his back. Elena rounded on him angrily.

"How are we going to get to work now, Reno? You've killed the damn elevator!"

"Shut up, Elena!"

"You shut up!"

"Oh nice comeback, blondie! Stop acting so weak!"

That was the last straw for Elena, who brought her fist back and attempted to land it on Reno's face. Reno easily blocked the blow, thanks to his particularly good reflexes, but he forgot that his hand was clutched around the beer can. As he blocked Elena's punch, more beer spilled out, narrowly missing Rude, but splattering the report that Tseng was carrying.

With an obvious effort, the Wutaian managed to say in a calm, dignified voice, "We'll just have to take the stairs."

There was another short silence.

"Um… Sir?" Elena asked, attempting to sound professional, though her brown eyes were wide with disbelief, "If we did that, we'd have to climb about...sixty flights of stairs."

Tseng sighed. "I know, but Rufus won't accept 'the elevator was broken' as an excuse to miss work. Besides, he'd want to know how the elevator got broken, and even though it's Reno's fault, we'll all get blamed for not 'exercising control over him'."

Rude, expressionless as ever, merely said, "…Looks like we have no choice." He readjusted his sunglasses.

Reno, who had paled visibly when he heard that they'd have to climb all the way up the Shinra building, was feverishly pushing buttons, trying to get the busted elevator to work. Elena grabbed his ponytail and dragged him away, muttering, "Stop that before you cause even more damage!"

Tseng shook his head, feeling a headache coming soon. The day was already off to a bad start...

The first several flights of stairs had been okay. However, after about ten minutes of silence, Reno and Elena had started bickering again.

"I'm getting tired, yo…"

"Shut up, Reno. You're not allowed to complain because this entire thing is your fault!"

"You must be getting tired too, Laney. I'm surprised that you haven't asked Tseng to carry you."

"What? Why you little—"

This argument went on for the next couple minutes, until Tseng and Rude, both looking very annoyed, threatened to tie them up and leave them in the stairwell. Silence then reigned again until the Turks reached the forty-ninth floor.

"Heh heh heh heh…" The first three turned and looked at Elena, who looked like she had begun to crack. Evidently, the pressures of keeping up with her coworkers while wearing heeled shoes, and the frustration of not being allowed to talk were affecting her.

"…You're creeping me out, Laney. Maybe you should carry her, boss-man." Reno said, looking at the blonde. Tseng sighed, scooping her up and throwing her over his shoulder. Elena immediately started playing with his hair.

They took a break at the fifty-third floor. Unsurprisingly, Rude looked the least affected out of all of them, and stood polishing his sunglasses. Reno looked particularly unhappy and was muttering random profanities under his breath, the words 'Rufus,' 'craphead,' and 'elevator' popping up occasionally. Tseng was trying to get Elena to lose her grip on his hair, though it didn't seem to be working:

"Elena, please let go."

"….."

"Elena..?"

"…zzzzzz—AHH! Did you say something, Sir?" Elena blinked several times; evidently, she had been sleeping. Realizing what she was doing, the young woman quickly released her grip on his hair, blushing. Tseng smiled slightly at her. At least he wouldn't need to carry her any longer.

Rude was now trying to calm Reno, who was openly yelling profanities about their 'stupid-ass cheapskate president'.

Waiting for his Turks on the sixtieth floor, Rufus Shinra pulled out his shotgun and began polishing it. "Where the hell are those idiots?" he yelled at an unfortunate Reeve, who was getting coffee.

"Mr. President, they may have taken the stairs," Reeve stammered, eyeing the shotgun, "It seems that the elevators aren't functioning right now."

Rufus blinked. "They're taking the stairs?" he asked incredulously. Reeve nodded. "Um, yes… Actually, one of my Cait Sith models was downstairs, and I witnessed the Turks…err... break the elevators by accident."

Rufus blinked again. "They broke the elevators..? How the hell did they do that?

"…Reno got beer in the control panel."

Rufus shook his head. "What a surprise." Reeve looked uncomfortable; the last thing he wanted was to get the Turks in trouble, as they were very skilled in getting revenge. "Are you going to punish them, Sir?"

Rufus smiled. "No. They'll get what's coming to them for breaking company property…" Reeve looked at him questioningly, and he continued, "One of Hojo's experiments has escaped and is residing on the fifty-eighth stairwell. I think dealing with that will serve as a reasonable punishment…"

Reeve swallowed nervously.