A/N- I wrote this under the peer pressure of Hadar. If it's crap, blame her. Otherwise, review!

Disclaimer- I don't own Charmed, John Tucker Must Die, Confessions by Usher, or anything else you might recognize.

Oh, yeah, and all of this is for fun. I love Charmed, and I love Chris. So I'm not insulting them… well, I kinda am a little, but it's all in good fun!

Chris smiled as he walked down the stairs of the Halliwell house. He had a bounce to his step, and he'd grown a long beard for the occasion. He had heard the Usher song Confessions and had decided to tell of all of his secrets to his parents and aunts. Unfortunately, they were on another one of the demon hunts he put them through. But it's simple! He thought. All I have to do is tell them that I really made up the demon down there! All of a sudden, he realized something. That would be a lie! Not with his new pact with himself, he'd sworn on the Book of Shadows that he wouldn't lie to them anymore! Wait… that's not a lie, there really was no demon. In fact, I turned Wyatt evil. But I'll leave that part out.

So, with a wave of his hand, he called out there names and they orbed to him. Wait… I don't have that power… He shrugged it off and looked at the pile of people all on the ground in front of him. All of a sudden, a demon shimmered out and armed himself with a fireball.

"Wait! I made you up!" Chris was confused at first, but then a thought hit him. "My powers are growing! I can create new powers!" He stroked his beard. "I have the power of sudden hair growth! That how I grew this in five minutes! Wait… what if I can't control this? I'd be shaving every two minutes!"

Paige groaned and picked herself up. "You can borrow my razor! I use it to shave my moustache… wait, pretend you never heard that. I use it to shave my sideburns!"

Chris stared at her. "Okay, then."

Piper orbed off the ground. "How the hell did I just orb?? What's going on?"

Chris winced. Now would be a good time to tell her that she was carrying him… nah. There was always tomorrow!

Phoebe did a flip off the ground with her spiffy martial arts training. "Maybe you're pregnant with Leo's baby again!"

Piper shook her head in disbelief. "Nooooo!" She waved her hand in a Piper sort of way, like she was waving off this unbelievable remark. Only problem was that she blew up a vase. "…oops. Oh, well, it wasn't like it was expensive or anything!"

Leo gasped. "Was that the vase that I bought yesterday off of eBay??!!"

"…maybe."

"Well," Paige retorted, "At least it wasn't an antique!"

"Oh, yes it wa-"

"Hey!" The demon cried out. "Has everyone forgot about me?? I'm armed with a fireball over here!"

"Well, if you'd thrown it at us, maybe you would've noticed!"

"I didn't want to hurt you!"

All conversations stopped as everyone stared. "What!" Piper cried with incredulity.

"Heh heh heh…" Paige chuckled to herself under her breath.

"Shut up!" The demon cried out. "You don't know what it's like! It's all about kill, kill, kill. What if I don't want to kill! What if I don't want to be a mean, scary demon anymore! WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS!!!???"

Phoebe was bewildered for a second. "Where have I heard that before? That line, right there…"

Paige thought too. "I was watching a movie… with you… someone says it…"

Chris stared at them. It was an obvious line; he'd been hiding behind the couch and watching the movie with them. He had to resist saying it… no one could know his guilty pleasure of chick flicks. No secrets, remember! "It's… it's… it's John Tucker Must Die!!!" He had tried to resist, he'd tried not to say it…

Looks of realization came over Paige and Phoebe's faces. "That was it!" They cried unanimously.

Suddenly, apprehension crossed Paige's pale features. "How do you know about that line? You haven't even seen it!

Chris froze. Damnit, self! Why!? "Uhhhh…" No secrets… no secrets… "Can't say, future consequences!" Whew. That was a close one.

Phoebe and Paige stared at him for a few moments, and then replied, "Ahhhhhhhh."

The demon couldn't take anymore of this ignorance.

"Hey! You're forgetting me! Me, me, me! MEEEE!!"

Piper glared at him, and blew him up.

"AHHHHH!! IT BURNS!! IT BURNS!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!" He screamed out in agony before being vanquished forever.

"Why the hell did you do THAT?!" Phoebe asked incredulously.

"I hate whiny people."

Chris scoffed. "Tell me about it."

Again heads turned and conversations were dropped. Chris's stomach sank. He waited for the questions to start.

"Oh no you did-n't!"

Chris stared. "What?!"

"Did you just insult me? Was that SARCASM???!!!"

Shit.

"N-n-no…" He whispered in a voice that sounded like a little girl's.

Piper shrugged. "Oh, okay."

Everyone went back to their conversations.

Chris took a deep breath. The beat of Confessions played in his head.

"Wait! Don't go back to your conversations just yet! I have a confes-" He realized how girly that sounded. "I- I- I have something important to say!!!"

Damn. That sounded just as girly.

"You're my daughter from the future that I'm currently pregnant with?" Piper asked.

"Yes! WAIT! WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING?!!!!!!!"

"…Nothing..."

"Heh heh heh," Paige was chuckling again.

"You got something to say?? HUH?? DO YOU?!!!!!"

Paige looked scared. But Phoebe bravely stepped forward. "I think she's implying that you're girl-"

"Heeey…" Piper stepped in with. "Leo got me pregnant again!?"

"NO!" Leo cried out in astonishment. "I'm THAT good?!" He glanced down to between his legs. "Go my little swimmers! Keep up the good work!"

Meanwhile, Phoebe was dancing around the room, singing her gloating song. "I was riiiight, I was riiiight, I was riiiight…"

Chris was astonished that no one was paying any attention to him. He did the only thing that came to mind to get every one to look at him.

"I'm gay!!"

THE END