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Rating: T – Just a little bad language

Spoilers: TS to some extend

Disclaimer: Still not mine.

Clueless in Trenton

Chapter 4

When I woke up, I was alone in my bed. Thank God for small favors. I needed time to think before I confronted Morelli or Ranger.

The questionnaires that were supposed to enlighten me had confused me further.

I loved Morelli. I loved Ranger. I could twist and turn it in my head until I was blue in the face, the facts wouldn't change.

I got up and threw on a tank top and sweats before I went to the kitchen to get coffee started. It was 9 AM and the day had already started without me, so a few more hours wouldn't matter.

As if my personal life wasn't pressing enough, I also had to go into the office to hopefully pick up files on FTAs so I'd be able to pay my rent.

I took my coffee into the living room and picked up my notebook from the dining table. Now I had all questionnaires. What would I do with them?

Helen had said that once I'd gotten the guys' answers, I'd be able to make a decision. Fat chance.

I read over the answers again. There were questions I had to ask both of them, but I didn't think any explanation would help me make a decision.

What the hell, I decided, and picked up the phone to call Helpful Helen. It wasn't the time she was on the air, but I was hoping to get at least an answering service.

I got a recording thanking me for the call, then a disconnect. I scoffed. So much for Helpful Helen. Then again, it wasn't her fault I was in this mess. But it was nice to blame someone else.

I went back to the questionnaires, as if there was something in them I'd missed before. Then I grabbed my pen and started another list, the open questions one. It most likely wouldn't help, but it would keep me busy.

I started with Ranger. His answers all seemed pretty straight forward, which made me wonder why he'd chosen to stay so distant. There was very little personal information. His answers told me about Ranger, not about Ricardo Carlos Manoso.

So should I ask him to redo it? Let me in, so to say? Easier said than done. I'd known Ranger for years and knew next to nothing about him.

Then again, I'd never known he wanted to be stronger and have the ability to read minds, but those were all things that would help him in his professional life.

Since I was the queen of denial, I wondered if I was ready to confront Ranger though. Could I ask him to share his personal life if he didn't want to?

I'd made my head hurt, so I put Ranger's questionnaire down and picked up Joe's.

Unlike Ranger, Joe'd gotten very personal. I couldn't help but think Joe had answered in the way Helpful Helen had intended. He'd opened up, he'd made his answers about me.

But had he been serious? Did he want to ask me to marry him? Would he like to tame me?

"Arrrrgh!!!" I screamed and slammed the notebook down on the coffee table. These answers had given me more questions!

Just then, the phone rang and I almost jumped.

"Cupcake." Joe said when I picked up. It was so like him to call when my head was spinning.

"Hi Joe." I said lamely. I could be so articulate sometimes.

"Sorry I had to split this morning. I've been meaning to ask you about that questionnaire. Do you have lunch plans?"

Um, no, I didn't have any plans, but if I did, they wouldn't involve seeing Morelli or Ranger. I didn't know what to say to them!

"Steph?" Morelli asked when I didn't answer his question. I sighed.

"No, I don't have any plans." I said.

"Great," He said, "I'll bring Pino's subs. 12:30 okay?"

I took a deep breath. Apparently, I wasn't going to put it off any longer. "Okay, see you then."

We disconnected after that and my hands were shaking. It was time for some serious thinking.

When I heard Joe get off the elevator, I was ready. Well, as ready as I'd ever be. I'd made a decision.

I was showered and dressed, my hair was done and I'd put on minimal make-up. I was wearing a t-shirt and jeans, nothing sexy, noting unflattering. Neutral.

Morelli let himself in with his key. He was dressed in his usual jeans and a long-sleeved blue t-shirt under a brown leather jacket. He looked good enough to eat. He was balancing a six pack and a take-out bag in his left hand, while closing the door behind him with his right.

I motioned towards the living room. "Have a seat, I'll get the plates." I rolled my eyes at myself on my way to the kitchen. If my mom had witnessed my lack of manners she'd be ironing right now. I swear I'd meant to greet him!

When I joined Joe in the living room, he was on the couch reading the questionnaires. Shit! I'd forgotten to put them aside.

He looked up when I put the plates down on the coffee table.

"I think you need to explain this, Cupcake." He was waving the pages at me.

I sat down on the couch with a sigh.

"You're right. I've been meaning to…" I was clenching my hands and finally grabbed a beer out of the six pack to distract myself.

Joe looked at me expectantly. I took a deep breath and met his eyes.

"I called this radio station the other night…" and then I told him all about Helpful Helen and the list. I fessed up about the two men in my life and what Helen's solution to the problem had been.

Morelli's eyes grew wide. "So this was a contest??" He indicated the questionnaires, his voice rising steadily.

"No!" I objected, "It was…" Well, what was it? In a way, it was a contest, but I hated to call it that. "It's more of a tool to help me decide…" I gestured frantically.

Joe scoffed. "I don't have to guess who the other man in the competition is, do I?"

Before I could stop him, he'd picked up Ranger's answer sheet and read over it.

"Joe, I…" I started, but I didn't know what to say.

"Have you made a decision then?" Joe asked, his eyes on me again. His voice was cold and I could sense anger boiling just below the surface.

"I have." I said and stood up; I could no longer sit still.

"Joe, I think it's best if we took a break, not see each other for a while." My voice was a lot steadier than I felt, but once I'd said it, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I took a deep breath and when I looked up, Joe's eyes were narrowed and he got up as well.

"I don't think I heard that right." He said, his voice hanging on to a civilized pitch by a thin thread.

"I don't think you are the right man for me at this point in my life." I said, straightening my shoulders.

That was easily the hardest thing I've ever had to say.

Morelli looked like he was going to explode. I saw his hands clench and unclench, like he was trying really hard not to strike out. I knew he'd never hurt me, but it was clear he was beyond angry.

"You don't mean that, Stephanie." He said.

"I do. Please leave, Joe." I could feel tears stinging my eyes. I was cursing Helen and her stupid list that had forced me to make a decision.

Joe looked hurt when he turned and walked out of my apartment. He didn't slam the door, he didn't cuss me out, he just left. And I felt horrible.

And then I realized I was only done half way. I took a couple deep breaths and walked over to my phone. It had to be done now before I lost all my courage. I dialed Ranger's number held my breath until he picked up.

"Yo."

"Can you come over right away?" I asked, sounding out of breath.

"Babe?"
I rolled my eyes. Now I was getting impatient, the one time I needed him to read my mind!

"Can you come see me?"
"Everything alright?"
Oh, of course. Mental head slap. I'd sounded like I was in grave danger.

"Sorry, yeah, everything is fine. I just need to talk to you."
"I'll be there in 10." He said and disconnected.

"This is it, Rex," I said to the soup can, "One down, only one more to go. I can do this!" I saw the pine shavings move and was sure Rex was laughing at me. I had to admit, I was acting pretty ridiculously.

My pulse sped up when I heard the front door's locks tumble. This was it, Showtime, so to say. I bit my cheek before I started giggling nervously.

I met Ranger in the small foyer. He closed the door behind him and looked at me expectantly.

"I've made a decision." I blurted out. Since he already knew about Helpful Helen, I didn't have to start at the beginning.

Ranger nodded almost imperceptibly and motioned for me to go on.

Another deep breath. If I wasn't careful, I was going to faint.

"You know how the questionnaires were gonna help me decide? Well they have. I have decided to distance myself from both of you. I don't think you are the right man for me at this point in my life." I let out a breath and my hands were shaking.

Ranger's face was blank as I waited for him to say something. No emotion flickered in his eyes, he was holding my gaze.

I almost jumped when he finally moved. He just turned and walked out, closing the door behind him.

I slumped against the door and cried. I cried until no more tears would come. It was done, I'd made a decision. If it had been the right decision, shouldn't I feel better now?

Finally, I got up, took another shower and wrapped myself in my soft robe, then I helped myself to another beer and settled down in front of the TV.

Hours later, a knock on the door woke me up. It was dark outside, so I must have slept for a long time.

I shuffled over to the door and gasped when I looked through the peep hole.

"Open up," He said, "I know you're in there!"

I knew that he could come in either way so I opened the door.

"What?" I asked by way of greeting.
"I don't accept your decision." He said calmly, took me in his arms and kissed me until I no longer knew my name.

The End

A/N: Questions, comments, suggestions? Please be gentle…