Disclaimer: Bored P.O.T does not belong to me sighs
Italics Thoughts + flashback.
Ryoma's Pov
I held a pocket knife to my wrist.
'Why? Why couldn't he love me. Am I too much of a pain for him? Am I not good enough for him? Am I just a pillar? Have I no other use for him other then that? Why?'
Tears fell down my face.
-Flashback-
"Ne Buchou..." Ryoma had gone up to his buchou, while the others were doing their drills.
"Hn?" Was all he said.
"Wait for me after pratice today." Was all Ryoma said before he ran back to the courts to continue his drills.
After Pratice
The others have already left. Ryoma had finished changing and waited for his buchou to finish, and lock up. After they were finished, his buchou walked Ryoma home.
"Was there something you wanted to talk to me about, Echizen?"His buchou asked, curious, but his face not showing it.
"Hai." Ryoma answered. It seems that his buchou was waiting for him to continue. "I want to say...I...uh...I love-"
His buchou stopped walking, and interupted Ryoma. "Gomen Echizen. I can't."
Ryoma stopped too, but he didn't turn to face his buchou. He just looked down on the ground. "Nande?" He asked.
"Echizen. I'm sorry but I just can't." Was all his buchou could reply.
Ryoma started to run off. Tears streaking down his face. He ran back home, not stopping once to catch his breath. He heard his buchou call after him, but he didn't care. Once he got home, Nanako had asked what was wrong, he didn't answer. He just ran towards his room, and wanted some peace.
-End Flashback-
I decided right then, that if he didn't want me, then what's the use of living. I cutted my wrist, and it ended right there, but not before writing a letter to him.
Tezuka's Pov
I was watching the Regulars play, when Echizen, one of the regulars, also youngest came up to me.
"Ne Buchou..." He had said.
"Hn?" Was what I said.
"Wait for me after pratice today." And then he ran off. I wondered if something was wrong?
After Pratice
I was changing and then Fuji came up to me.
"Tezuka."
"Fuji."
There was a bit of silence. And I was getting uncomfortable standing there, near him. I mean, even the guy creeps me out a bit, I just don't show it.
"Tezuka., what do you think of Echizen?" I raised one of my eyebrows. Weird question. But then again, it's Fuji we're talking about.
"I think he's to surpass us all one day." Was the answer I gave him.
"That's not what I mean. I mean, how do you feel about him." Feel? How I feel about Echizen?
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Tezuka. You know what I mean. I know how you feel about him. Why don't you just tell him." Tell him?
I sigh. "Fuji. He's only twelve. He's too young." Was all I said, before going back to changing again. I sighed in relief when I saw him finish changing and left, just as the others. And then, there was only Echizen and me. He was waiting for me, so I hurriedly finish changing and locked the door.
I was walking him home. I was getting kind of curious. Why did he ask me to wait for him. So I decided to ask him.
"Was there something you wanted to talk to me about, Echizen?" I asked.
"Hai." I waited for him to continue. "I want to say...I...uh...I love-" I stopped walking, knowing what he wanted to say, and interupted him.
"Gomen. I can't." Was all I could say. I was hardly able to say it.
"Nande?" He asked me. I only thought of one thing. He was too young.
"Echizen. I'm sorry but I just can't." Maybe I should explain why. But before I could say anything, he ran off home. I called after him, but no use. He just won't stop. So I decided that I'd talk to him tomorrow.
But I never got to see him tomorrow. Actually I'd never see him again. It turned out that he had slitted his wrist and died right after. But he left a note for me. I knew because his cousin came to my house and gave the letter to me, and also explaining what happened while crying. I was shocked when I heard what happened. It was my fault he died. It was my fault that he slitted his wrist. If only I had explain to him earlier. If only, but the word if, will never become true, for he already died.
I went up to my room, his letter on my desk. I was still shock somehow, but no tears came to my eyes. I looked at the letter, grabbed it from my desk and opened it. The paper inside the letter dropped out, and onto my hands. I hesitated a bit, but then decided to read it.
Buchou,
Sorry I was not good enough for you. Sorry I could not become the pillar like you ask. Sorry that you never liked me. And I'm sorry that I killed myself. I only did it because I always thought you would always be there for me, but I thought wrong. Sorry about everything.
-Echizen Ryoma
Both the paper and letter dropped to the ground. I buried my head in my hands. My tears finally came.
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