This is a plot bunny by the wonderful Phantom Soldier, found in Purple Mystic's Idea Adoption Forum. Before you read, note that this IS a crack fic. Not meant to be taken seriously at all. Crack fics are NOT my best quality of writing however, so a lot will be left up to the imagination. Sometimes it's just better that way anyway.

So please, enjoy. I hope you laugh. This is part one of two.

Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom.

Why Me?

Danny sighed in utter relief as he dropped back onto the run-down sofa in his apartment, which wasn't in much better shape than the sofa. He had just gotten back from a party at one of the Fraternity houses and being the designated driver for several friends, he was just happy to be back at his place for the night or more accurately, morning.

He yawned this time as he wore a half crazy smile. It wasn't often between the homework of an Engineering major, trying to keep his love life alive and fighting ghosts that he got to really sit down and relax.

Due to a major increase in the strength and skill in using his ghost powers, the ghosts had been forced to think through their plots more carefully, as they got a beating every time they tried something. Danny was just fine with this. The plots were getting more serious, but as long as he had time to get his studying done he wasn't going to start complaining.

To add to the relaxation, Danny had the apartment all to himself. Tucker was off at MIT. Sam was as far away from her parents as she could have possibly gotten, studying somewhere in Europe. Danny was left in Amity Park following his lifelong dream of being an astronaut. This coming summer he would start his internship at NASA. He missed his friends, but he did enjoy the quiet.

With nothing but the hum of the heater for noise, Danny sank back further ready to fall asleep at any moment…

But as his ice powers came out in a quick, short burst, Danny suddenly felt ready to deal out some major pain. "I'm goin' ghost…" He growled. These days it was much more of a warning to the ghost in the area than it was a battle cry.

He floated up off the sofa and scanned the apartment. Using basic battle instinct he quickly turned around, charging an ecto-blast.

"Do not hurt me!"

Well, he wasn't expecting THAT. As he turned he saw the Box Ghost. He looked normal enough. But there was nothing normal about the box-obsessed ghost surrendering before the fight had even started.

Danny almost didn't know how to respond. All he ever did to the ghost was beat him up and suck him up into the thermos. His brain tried hard to compensate. "Box Ghost…? What's going on…?" He asked, powering down his attack.

The Box Ghost looked around nervously. As if wondering if he should say anything. The second abnormal thing he had done today: think before speaking.

"Promise you will not harm me if I tell you all?" The ghost continued.

Danny nodded silently, not knowing what else to do. "Being who I am, I try to believe three impossible things before breakfast. Especially at…" He looked at the clock on the wall. "Three thirty in the morning…" He couldn't help but yawn again.

"I was kicked out of my lair." He said almost pathetically.

In the middle of his yawn upon receiving the information, Danny started choking in shock. It took a minute or so to get it under control. With wide, somewhat teary eyes from the intense coughing, he locked a flabbergasted gaze with the Box Ghost. "You were what?!"

"It is the Lunch Lady!" He cried, at a complete and utter loss of what to do, grabbing Danny by the collar to emphasize that Danny understand his trouble. "She is worse than normal in her mood swings! I said I liked a box of the meatloaf she had made. She then yelled about how I did not like her cooking! She kicked me out!"

Danny stared. He did a mental math calculation and suddenly had a horrible feeling about where this was going. "The Lunch Lady kicked you out of your lair?" He asked just to make sure.

"Well…it is both of ours…" Box Ghost confessed head downcast.

Danny sighed deeply, trying not to show the disgust on his face at the pairing he knew one day would come to pass. "Alright, we'll go back and I'll see if I can get her to calm down for you…" He suggested.

"NO!" He shouted. Danny shhhed him, as he figured the conversation was going to wake his neighbors. "You do not know how bad it is." He continued in a loud whisper.

"Then what do you want me to do about it?" Danny asked. He wanted to go to sleep so badly…

"None of the other ghosts will help." He began, gearing up for something big. "I would like to stay with you for a while."

"You….WHAT?!" He couldn't help but scream. Danny looked around nervously as he thought someone would come through the door at any moment. "You want to do what?" He asked again quietly.

"I would like to share your lair with you…but not in that way!" Box Ghost said quickly, a frightened look on his face. Danny felt nauseous at just the thought. "I need a place to stay until she has calmed down."

Danny sighed. As much as he really hated the idea, he felt that little bit of guilt crawl up his spine. He did feel sorry for the Box Ghost. Having little luck on the dating scene himself and a strong sense of helping others instilled in him, he found he couldn't say no.

"Alright, I guess I don't see any harm in you staying in my apartment, but you've got to control your box addiction and try to leave me alone. I've got enough on my plate as it is." He consented.

"MANY THANKS!" Box Ghost came about a millimeter too close to giving Danny a hug. Danny dutifully blasted him on the spot before he could do so.

"I'm going to bed." Danny told the charred ghost as he transformed back to his human appearance. He left the Box Ghost with dizzy eyes as he shut the door to his bedroom.

:-):-)

Danny's first mistake had been making a reference to his plate. His second mistake had been leaving the Box Ghost with only a few vague directions on what to do while living in the apartment.

He stretched his arms out, accompanied with a yawn. Looking at his alarm clock, Danny found that it was still the weekend and he wasn't late for any classes. He was glad for it.

Still half asleep Danny turned over onto his other side. He was met with a very rude awakening in the form of the Box Ghost's sleeping face inches from his own. Having never been in this type of situation before, Danny did the only logical thing he could think of.

He screamed in terror and fell out of his bed…then he blasted the Box Ghost out of his bed as well with a face of pure anger.

"HOW DARE YOU BLAST ME…" The Box Ghost began as he floated up beside the bed in his signature pose.

Danny, still on the floor, was trying very hard to calm down. He grabbed the Box Ghost by the collar of his shirt. "What were you doing SLEEPING IN MY BED?! With ME in it!"

"But it was the only bed in your lair…" Protested the Box Ghost.

"That's why I have a couch!" Danny yelled and pointed to the door to the main living area. "You can sleep there!" He paused. "You're a ghost! Why do you even need to sleep?!" He stuttered.

"Without nutrients from the Ghost Zone, I must SLEEP to regain my energy to collect and control the world's supply of boxes! Besides, I cannot sleep on a couch! Couches are not meant for sleeping in!" He said as if it were obvious.

Danny groaned and slapped his face. "I thought we were passed this whole 'boxes of the world' thing?"

"It is my ambition! It cannot go away!"

"Okay, look. I really don't want to deal with you right now. I'm going to make myself breakfast." He looked at the clock. "Lunch. Whatever. Just stay out of trouble." Danny ordered as he left the room, dropping his new roommate on the floor.

"Wait, let me make your meal for you!" Box Ghost said blocking Danny's way out with surprising speed.

Danny stared at him for a good while. "You're kidding right?"

"I must repay you for letting me stay in your lair! I learned some cooking skills from my beloved! I shall prepare your meal!" With that explanation, he left to cook some food. From inside the kitchen he heard a very disgusting sound that Danny hoped was not what he thought it was.

"That WAS NOT ME!" The Box Ghost protested. Ghosts could pass gas. Great. Just great.

Danny had a very bad feeling in the bottom of his stomach that this was only the beginning of a living nightmare.

A/N: The other part will be up in a day or two…it's longer and a bit more funny than this.

Danny used a line from a very old BBC movie based on a very long running tv series in this chapter. You get a cookie and a plushie if you guess it. The line and the movie...

As always critiques, suggestions and well-wishes are appreciated.

See you soon.

-UR :-)