Rescue Me-Chapter 15

Disclaimer: Last time you have to see it…

Summary: Just a few loose ends to tie up and a few more to introduce…

Author's Notes: Well…this is the end of RM. It's gone on for about a month and a half, and I'm proud to say that I consider it one of my best works. Due to influences and some conversations with a couple of you, I have decided to continue working in this little universe with…the Sequel to Rescue Me (title pending). The necessary cogs for this story will be introduced in this chapter. Thank you so much for reading!!

Reviews: sparse again :(

Flabz (on the dA version of ch.14 :)): Yeah, I talked with you about it on MSN and DA, so I think I've thanked you plenty, but…thanks for all the encouragement and giving me something nice to wake up to on Mondays and Fridays XD.

PP. Bunny: Heh, thanks for the stroke of inspiration. I intend to pick it up and run a rather long distance with it:P

Unworthy: Don't worry, this chapter's happy too!!

Lilchicky004 (ch12): It'd better be good enough!

Lilchicky004 (ch13):P Just :P

Lilchicky004 (ch14): Heh, I tried waiting for you, but I'm real impatient…Thank you very very much!

-.-

To my readers:

Twenty years ago, when I made the final revisions to the first edition of this book and submitted it for publication, I never dreamed it would be this successful. Within two weeks of the release, I had embarked on a signing tour, appeared on Oprah, The Daily Show, the morning news shows, and a few radio shows. For all this, and for helping me out with my life and the book, my husband was by my side.

About a year ago, when the publishing company asked me if I would be interested in re-visiting this book and perhaps adding some material, he was the one who encouraged me to take the extra step, and even contributed some material of his own. The co-author credit he receives is the least I could do. I love you, Stan!

Some of what you will be reading near the end of this new edition talks about our lives over the past twenty years. Soon after this book became a hit, we took the plunge and started the adoption process. Fifteen years ago, we ended up with two beautiful twin boys: Ryan Marsh and David Broflovski. Ryan looks uncannily like his father, but he takes after me in personality. David looks quite similar to me, and has Stan's personality. It can be difficult at times to keep them separate. The twins just celebrated their sixteenth birthdays, and as such we don't see them much anymore.

We all still live in South Park, and Stan and I both still hold the same jobs we did when all of this first started. The only difference is the amount of money we're making. Stan is a wonderful coach, and once all the hubbub about his sexuality died down, and he was allowed to return his full attention to the field, South Park started on a dominant streak. Our football team didn't lose a game for six years, and accumulated six state titles along the way. I've lost track of the amount of times he's been approached for head coaching jobs on the collegiate level, but he always turns them down. As crazy as it sounds, we love our home in this quiet, Podunk, jerkwater, green-horn, white-trash, whistle-stop, peckerwood mountain town. It's where we spent our youth, it's where we returned to as adults, and it's the only place we'd ever live.

After Stan and I got the twins to start sleeping normally, I finally caved in to the pressure on my side to come around and start giving lectures at colleges on either my poetry or my book, or both in some cases. I typically only go to ten of these per year, but I might have to increase that number based on the reception this re-release receives. What has really astounded me was the reception it received among both the student population at these schools, and among the faculty. Any time I attend one of these lectures, I always spend close to three hours after the conclusion of the actual event discussing parts of it with professors and students alike.

I get a lot of people who say that reading my book, whether on assignment or on recommendation, inspired them. I always respond by asking them in what way they were inspired. Eight times out of ten I receive a response relating to a friend they have, or doing nice things for people in general. The other twenty percent of the time, though, is what really thrills me, when a young man in his early twenties reveals to me a painting that is nearly always on par with the best things I've ever created and sometimes surpass me. I have a place for each of these works in my home, and a museum-worthy label about the artist and where he (or sometimes she) is from.

The real point of this little introduction, however, is not to bombard you with little anecdotes about how this book has been received. If you want that, you can look at the back cover, or wherever the blurbs end up. No, this section is supposed to be the thanks. And for that, I have a few very special people in mind:

To Karen: Your input on the various portions of the first edition were very helpful in revising it for this re-release. I think you'll find that all the mistakes you point out have been corrected!

To Claire: The conversations had a tendency to digress, often painfully, but you've been great in helping me think of additional things to talk about in here when I hit a stumbling block.

To Rachel: Always there with a friendly comment! Your encouragement helped a great deal. Perhaps more than you know…

To Ren: Always willing to leave a positive comment. You give me more props than I really deserve, I do not kid you.

And to Zak: You have an unhealthy obsession with math. I just wanted to put that out there, you know I despise it and I know you love it. You should write a book of your own, you've got subject matter and skill a plenty! Go for it!

For those of you who know me primarily from my poetry (I've published five volumes) and are picking this up out of pure curiosity, I would like to let you in on this: The reasoning behind my pre-2010 work is all in here. You might even see a few things that you recognize. Just a hint.

For the rest of you…there are some small changes to the opening chapters, but nothing you'd really notice unless you drag out a copy of the first edition and set aside several hours to locating them. Pretty much all the new stuff is in the back, unless it related to themes presented earlier.

Thank you all for reading, and I'll catch you on the flip side!

Kyle Broflovski

1 March, 2027

South Park, CO

-.-

I rub my eyes in satisfaction as I save the new file "New Introduction" to the folder "Darkness to Light: My Rescue." It's a Thursday evening, the twins are off…somewhere, they haven't been home since school let out that. I figured that now was the best time to put the finishing touches on the second edition, which really merely amounted to writing this new introduction.

"You done, Ky?" Stan asks from the doorway. He's probably got a coffee mug in his hand, something I confirm when I turn around to smile at him. There are worse things he could be drinking, but he's gotten almost as bad as Tweek with the coffee.

"Yep," I say with a grin. "I'll USB the files to school tomorrow and print them off there, then send it in after classes."

"This mean we get to go tour the world again?" he asks, coming over and hugging me from behind while he scrolls up to read what I wrote.

"Well, you HAVE been talking about taking a second honeymoon," I reply in a somewhat lecherous tone, then shrug. "I dunno. I suppose they'll let me know if they want to do another promo tour. Do you think we could leave the twins home alone for two weeks or so?"

"God no," he says. "We'll ship 'em off to your parents or something. Maybe they can stay with Kenny and his family."

"Bad idea," I remind him. "Remember, David's obsessing over Kenny's daughter?"

"Oh yeah…your parents it is, then," he says. "That oughta put some responsibility into them. If they know we'll just make them spend time with your mom, they'll snap into shape quicker than a Marine called to attention." I know there's a smirk behind those words. Stan actually gets along quite well with my parents, and I with his.

"Well, they're not in the house now," I suggest, and when he turns his gaze from the screen to look down at my face, I give him a waggle of the eyebrows.

"You're such an exhibitionist," he says, and this time I can see the smirk.

"Hey, I never see you objecting."

"Who would turn you down? I'm just saying, the twins usually pick very inopportune times to come home," Stan says, leaning in for a kiss, which I happily provide.

"They know what sex is, Stan. I bet they're wondering why we DON'T do it more often," I say, and he scrunches up his face in disgust.

"Ew, Kyle. I don't want my kids thinking about my sex life, thank you very much."

"Yeah, well, I'm getting mine right now, kids or no kids," I say, pouncing on him and pinning him to the wall, just as the front door loudly opens and I hear David shout out.

"Dad? Pops? Either of you here?" Stan moves towards the door. I stop him, because David's talking again.

"If you're screwing, just make a loud noise and me and Ryan'll go out for a while more!" Grinning at Stan's horrified look, I kick the door and make a loud thump.

"See you later!" David shouts, and there is a pause before the front door shuts again, and I turn to face Stan.

"Checkmate," I say. "Now come on, let's go to bed."

FIN!!

-.-

Author's Notes: Well, that's it!! I won't be releasing the sequel until after Spring Break (which lasts from Mar. 9-18), but I will go through the first few chapters and make corrections to things like tense and such and re-post them.

Let me know what you thought of it! The review button is below, and my PM link and e-mail address are in my profile! Also, if you were a frequent reviewer and I didn't mention you in Kyle's thanks section, send me a PM or an e-mail with your real name (I only need the first), and I'll put you in!

Thanks so much again!

Phoenix II

1 March 2007

Bored in a dorm room