Title: The Game

Author: Arwen Jade Kenobi

Rating: G

Disclaimer: Not mine. No money. Just for fun. Don't sue!

Summary: What's the game? Are you sure you want to know?

Author's Note: Totally random and silly idea, but I did have fun writing it so I thought I'd share. For those of you who are playing the game (which is now all of you), my apologies.

"Aw man, I lost the game!"

Wilson cocked an eyebrow and looked back at Cody Becker, age eleven, as he let out another irritated grunt and laid his head back down against the pillow. This wasn't the first time that Wilson had heard his patient mutter something about losing a game. He'd dismissed it so far as some kid's game that he wasn't familiar with, but Wilson's curiosity was getting the better of him.

"What's the game?" he asked casually as he changed the IV bags.

Cody looked up at him, his surprised expression turning into a wary expression one. "Are you sure you want to know?"

The oncologist laughed. "Yeah I'm sure, why the worry?"

"Because the second I finish explaining it to you, you'll be playing."

The way the youngster said it made it sound like some sort of prison sentence. But what harm could there be, he said he was fine with it and waited patiently for Cody to explain this 'game' that he seemed to lose quite a bit. Or at least every time Wilson was in the room.

"Okay, the game has three rules," Cody explained. "Rule number one is that you're playing the game. I mean right now."

Wilson nodded his understanding. "We covered that already, go on."

"Rule number two is that the second you think about the game, you lose."

Odd, Wilson thought. "So I lose this game by thinking about it?"

"Or remembering it," Cody added. "Any time you think about the game, you lose."

This was just too bizarre. "And the third rule?"

"Rule number three is that when you lose the game you have to say it out loud."

"Which would make anyone around who's playing lose the game as well," Wilson deduced.

"Exactly."

"So you win the game by not remembering that you're playing."

Cody nodded.

Wilson wondered if there was some other term besides bizarre hat could describe this game and he told Cody so. Cody laughed and snickered in agreement. "But you're playing now, Dr. Wilson." He reached for his glass of water and took a sip. "You may get a few days without remembering it, but you will remember it. It's everywhere; you'll start to notice it."

Wilson decided that Cody had a wonderful flair for the dramatic and gave the boy his assurances that he'll keep an eye out for it.

- - - -

"Oh shit, I lost the game!"

Wilson started at that cry from the nurse's station and was both surprised and curious to hear few other similar curses following it. He was even more shocked to find the same curse escape his lips as he passed by, almost as if it were a well learned reflex. The nurses looked toward him in dismay and asked him how he had gotten suckered into this game.

"Cody Becker, a week ago," Wilson answered as he jerked his thumb to indicate the room he'd just left.

"Wow, you lasted a week?" Heather asked in disbelief. "I lose the game daily!"

"Hourly, more like it," Jessie muttered as she grabbed for the ringing telephone.

They each all fluttered into their stories of how they'd heard about the game. They varied from their children, relatives, other patients, and even different departments.

"I figure at least half the hospital is playing now," Maggie reported. "Eventually the whole hospital will be. It's like a disease; maybe we should get Diagnostics on it."

"Oh, whatever you do don't get Dr. House in on the game!" Heather suddenly pleaded to Wilson. "He'll lose on purpose and just keep saying it every time he walks by."

A chorus of agreement followed around the nurse's station. Wilson immediately recognized the danger of this, not that he cared about losing the game but the concept of House just showing up at his office to announce losing the game would be enough to make him consider beating the man to death with his own cane.

- - - -

"Crap, I lost the game!"

"Damn it, I lost the game!" Wilson stopped on his way out of Cuddy's office to turn back and stare in complete shock. "Don't tell me you're playing too!"

Cuddy grumbled an affirmative as she tossed a file angrily on her desk. "Brenda lost a few days ago and I finally caved and demanded to know what it was. Probably one of the more stupid things I've ever done." She settled into her chair. "So who conned you? House?"

"Cody Becker," Wilson replied. "About three weeks ago. I lost earlier this morning too. A couple of the oncology nurses were chatting and they all lost."

"Please tell me House isn't playing the game."

"Not that I know of, I haven't lost it in front of him yet."

"Well, don't! The last thing we need is House playing the game."

Wilson agreed with that wholeheartedly. So much so that he didn't even need to tell Cuddy that he agreed with her.

- - - -

"Bugger! I lost the game!"

"Damn it!"

"Chase, I was doing so well!"

"What the … damn I guess I lost it too."

All three of House's fellows turned to gape at him and Wilson quickly told them who had told him and how long he'd been playing before the question could leave their lips.

"Don't tell, House. Please!" That was Chase almost begging.

"Why on earth does everyone think I'm going to go running to House about this?" Wilson asked incredulously. "I live with the man; I'd be losing the game every thirty seconds."

"You actually can't lose it that often," Cameron chirped in. "You can't lose the game more than once every thirty minutes."

Foreman arched an eyebrow and looked over at her. "Where the hell is that written?"

"It's just another rule a friend told me," she replied. "That way you can't have someone just saying 'I lost the game' over and over again to be annoying."

"This already is annoying!" Chase shouted and settled back into his seat in defeat.

"Can't you just stop playing?" Wilson asked. "Just don't say anything when you lose, or don't react when someone around you loses."

Three pairs of eyes stared at him as if he had suddenly decided to strip naked and dance around the room. "Okay, my mistake," Wilson said slowly as he backtracked out of the office. "Sorry for asking."

- - - -

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" House suddenly roared. Wilson was taken so badly by surprise that he almost dropped his beer.

"Leg?" He asked with concern.

House shook his head and reached for his beer and chugged the third that remained in the bottle. He got up from the couch to get a refill, muttering about 'that stupid game' as he passed by.

The Game!

"Oh son of a bitch, I lost the game!" Wilson groaned as he buried his face in his hands. This was about the tenth time today that he'd lost.

House seemed to appear out of nowhere. "You're playing too? God, who conned you?"

"Cody," Wilson grumbled through his hands. House would know who he meant. Cody had started out as one of House's patients, and was one of the few that House still kept up to date with. Wilson was still trying to find out if the planets had aligned in order explain that one.

"Me too," House grumbled as he settled himself back on the couch and took a swig of his new beer. "We have an infection spreading in the hospital and it can all be traced back to that kid."

"Don't think so," Wilson countered. "Some of the nurses lost earlier today and they were saying they'd heard it from their own families. Cody was right, the game is everywhere!"

"I'd love to find out where it started," House started in that dangerous tone of voice.

"Oh, no," Wilson began. "There's no way to sort that out, not even with you on the case."

House muttered something incoherent as he turned his attention back to the television, reaching for the last slice of pizza at the same time. A few minutes passed when Wilson suddenly remembered everyone urging him not to tell his friend about the game for fear of complete, eternal loss.

"House?"

"Damn it, I lost the game again."

Cameron's thirty minute rule popped into his head but he decided not to mention that one to House. "Sorry, but I just wondered why you haven't been pestering everyone about this."

"How so?"

"Well, I'd think that you'd be losing the game on purpose just to piss everyone off. I'd also figure you'd be swinging by my office tomorrow to announce that you've lost the game just to bother me."

"The way to win is to not remember you're playing, Jimmy."

So that was it then. This was another game that House just had to find a way to win. It made sense. "You do know that there is no way to win this," Wilson pointed out.

"There will be no way to win it if you don't shut up about it." House snapped at him.

Wilson let out some exasperated noise that even he couldn't identify. "You are such a two year old." Why didn't he think of this before? House need to win would take precedence over everything, even that desire to bother the living daylights out of everyone.

Ding!

Wilson counted himself lucky that House was engrossed in the TV again. That way he couldn't see the smirk spreading across his face. Someone was getting an hourly, no half hourly, page tomorrow.