Summary: Donut makes a list of things he'd never do.
Genre: Humor/Romance
Rating: G (I'm still so innocent! XD)
Warnings: Donut/Caboose, mentioned Simmons/Grif and Simmons/Sarge
50 Things Private Donut Would Never Ever Do
1. Ask the Blue Team's girl for crockpot recipes.
2. Ask Sarge for crochet advice.
3. Steal Grif's hair gel.
4. Use the microwave to make pot pies.
5. Burn strawberry kiwi scented candles.
6. Ask any of the guys to borrow their lotion, because I know they don't have any.
7. Cut my hair.
8. Dye my hair. Highlights are okay, though.
9. Paint my nails black.
10. Wear black.
11. Sleep in the same room as any of the guys.
12. Buy a lime green supportive undergarment. Lace or no.
13. Tell grif to suck it up when Sarge calls Simmons into his room. He doesn't cry, but man, can he sulk.
14. Let Grif adopt the monkey everyone knows he wants.
15. Let Simmons let Grif adopt the monkey everyone knows he wants.
16. Give anyone on the team my LiveJournal username.
17. Show anyone my Backstreet Boys CD.
18. Hang up my poster of Justin Timberlake I've been hiding from Sarge.
19. Admit pink is my favorite color.
20. Fall for the "elbow grease" trick again.
21. Fall for the "headlight fluid" trick again.
22. Put even a scratch on the Warthog. Sarge and Lopez would kill me.
23. Go into the cave again...
24. Try and have a sleep over with Doc, even if he seems like a really nice guy.
25. Walk in on Grif and Simmons again.
26. Tease Grif and Simmons. They make a cute couple.
27. Deny Sarge his whiskey, even though it's not really whiskey.
28. Ask Sarge what his whiskey really is.
29. Ask Sarge what that red wine really is.
30. Throw away my Rocky Horror Picture Show DVD.
31. Throw away last year's Halloween costume; I was Sailor Moon, by the way.
32. Admit that I wear perfume instead of cologne.
33. Pet the bunny in the Warthog, ever again.
34. Hang any of my drawings on the fridge, ever again.
35. Argue with Grif and Church if Santa is real.
36. Wait up for the Tooth Fairy.
37. Wait up for the Easter Bunny.
38. Wait up for the Great Pumpkin.
39. Give Sarge any of my Snoopy paraphernalia.
40. Wear fishnets (in front of the guys).
41. Hide my diary anywhere but my bottom drawer.
42. Uninvite any of the Blue Team to the Christmas party.
43. Try and purposely hit any of the Blue Team when I shoot. Even if Sarge orders me to.
44. Be rude towards any of the Blue Team.
45. Let Caboose catch me staring.
46. Not wear my helmet around Caboose when we're with other people. They'd see me blushing.
47. Make fun of Caboose.
48. Correct Caboose about my name. Private McMuffin is just so damn cute.
49. Get caught coming from the cliffs after we meet up.
50. I would never ever ever stop loving Private Michael J. Caboose.