Publisher's Note

Welcome to the third, long awaited edition of Pirate Press. Where we continue our dramatic story where we finished off in the Second Edition. We know you will find this story far more entertaining than the last. And remember we are here to fulfill your every desire to know the truth about the pirates we have managed to track down using our underdog employee, Oni Giri! She has volunteered to follow these pirates and report back the dramatic tales.

What happened last time from Pirate Press, Second Edition:

The Going Merry has been destroyed by a ferocious beast and doomed to spend eternity at the bottom of the ocean. The pirates have been left, stranded on some island with no hope of returning to sea without a vessel! How will they survive?

Nami: How the hell are we going to get off this island now!

Giri: -sobbing- I don't know! Oh, the irony of it all!

Usopp: -also sobbing- WAAAAAAAAAAA! That ship was a gift from Kaya!

Zoro: -suddenly appears- Did you find the ship?

Luffy: Yes but, Chopper smashed it.

Zoro: -Walking off- then don't bother calling me back.

Chopper: I'm so sorry everyone! It's all my fault and now I'm hungry too!

Everyone: -stomach rumbles-

Sanji: -limping upright (broken leg remember)- Ssh! What's that sound.

Sound: -rustling bushes-

Muscle Man (Marian): -Steps out holding a big bazooka-

Giri: -running- OH MY GOD! THEY'VE COME TO GET ME!! –dives into ocean-

No. 1: Why don't you go after her?

Marian: -giggling- She's one cute chick. –dives after her-

Giri: -screaming- Yeeeek! Help! Get away demon! –faints-

Marian: -with love sick voice- My loooove!

Robin: -appears holding coffee-

Naim: Where'd you get that coffee?

Robin: -simply- Mr. Coffee.

Usopp: I want coffee too!

Marian: -swimming for the shore- Me too!

Giri: -raising limp arm- Me…too.

Later...

Mr. Coffee: Would. You. Care. For. Some. More. Coffee. Nami?

Nami: Mmm. Yes, please.

Mr. Coffee: -love hearts flying- You're. Welcome.

Sanji: -growls-

Robin: Has anyone seen Captain-san?

Luffy: –GONE-

Meanwhile in a pub with bright fluro lights, extremely loud music and many drunken souls…

Zoro: -banging head against loud speaker- THIS IS THE LIFE HEY, LUFFY!

Luffy: -also banging head- YOU'RE SO RIGHT ZORO! I'M STARTING TO FEEL DIZZY! WHAT HAPPENED TO EVERYONE ELSE?

Zoro: -passing another mug of beer- WHO CARES?! HERE, THE DIZZINESS GETS BETTER AFTER ANOTHER ONE!

Luffy: -attempting to drink and bang his head at the same time, beer goes everywhere- WHOA! I FEEL IT COMING ON!!!

Zoro and Luffy: ROCK OOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nami: -peering through smoggy window- That is so irresponsible of them!

Giri: -looking frightfully into the bar- It's so bright, so flashy! So many unknown faces! HISSS!

Usopp: -muttering- It looks like fun to me.

Chooper: -sighing- Yeah it does. Too bad we can't go and join them.

Usopp: Yeah, too bad.

Usopp and Chopper: -sneak into the pub-

Nami: -still looking through smoggy window- Wait…there are two other people that have joined them.

Robin: -peering in- There are too. And they look remarkably similar to Long Nose-kun and Doctor-san.

Nami: -looking for Usopp and Chopper-

Usopp and Chopper: -GONE-

Nami: We have to do something Robin, Giri….Sanji? Where's Sanji?

Sanji: -GONE-

Nami: -watches through window as Sanji swoons over the ladies- This is the last straw!! We're going in!

Giri: I can't go in there! Too many people make me…wheeze! –pulls out paper bag and hyperventilating-

Zoro: SO GLAD YOU JOINED US!

Chopper: -furiously banging head and drinking grog- YEAH, I AM TOO!

Luffy: I HOPE THIS NEVER ENDS!

Usopp: -scooping up his nakama in his arms- I SECOND THAT!

Sanji: -swooning- MELLORINE!

Music: -suddenly stops-

Everyone: -in mid-dance step-

Nami: -grabs microphone- THE POLICE ARE COMING!!!

Everyone: -screams and runs out-

Pub: -empty-

Luffy: -wobbling dangerously- Naaamiii, why'd -hic- you do that -hic- for? –collapses-

Zoro: Awe…Nami -hic- you look so -hic- HOT! –collapses too-

Sanji: -kicks unconscious Zoro- You bastard.

Pirate Press trust that you enjoyed your read. Also, due to the number of serious injuries and major concussions, not to mention the loss of limbs and some lives which is all due to the bears that act as security measures in the car park, we at Pirate Press offices have decided to remove the bears and replace them with trolls. Also, we would like to inform you of the werewolves who will be entertaining you at the 'Full Moon Company Get Together' this month's full moon. There will also be juggling vampires and singing ghouls for your pleasure. Thankyou.

- Pirate Press Inc. -