BACK BY FUCKING POPULAR DEMAND!!

Hello, INSERT NAME HERE! It seems you have the interest and the gonads to go on reading this creepy story; for that, I thank you. As this goes on, this will get darker and creepier, well, if that is the way to see it. But anyway, just so you know, I do have the gist of the story planned out, but I need a bit of help deciding who will be Harry's first GIRLFRIEND that we would know from canon, not boyfriend, this is a SLASHLESS story, and I will keep it that way. I refuse to make a Mary-Sue. So if you have any ideas, send them along in your reviews. Also, because of the experiment, Harry's mind processes at the equivalent of someone many times his age, he learns faster, and shall be much more mature. So, yeah, he's super!Harry. I also apologize for being such a lazy shit and not updating for a long time.

ATTENTION-READ THIS: Please note that I will be (at least there's a high chance of it) changing the Hogwarts curriculum to include new subjects ranging from muggle algebra, to a comprehensive study of the English grammar, to learning the basics of Latin, etc...

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all of his friends are owned by J. K. Rowling, not me! I'm just having a bit of old fashioned sick and twisted fun with them. I do not claim to have ownership of any bit of Harry Potter, except perhaps the plot I have created for this story only!

Harry Potter and the Ludicrous Experiment

Written by Eristaz's insane mind

Chapter Two

"The progression of wizardry has been slow and tedious, and still to this day, the wizarding community is an archaic institution. The community is superstitious, philosophical, and mystified by the power of magic itself. Witches and wizards are slow to change and are usually narrow minded, refusing to ponder new ideas and theories, and thus refusing to delve into the depths of magic and the very way magic works. This is the inverse of the drive that non-magical humans, more commonly known as muggles, have. The muggles' and driven personalities have caused them to be leaps and bounds ahead of the wizarding institution, in technology, logic, and many other subjects."

-Current Magical Theory, written by Z. A. Wyrick, soon entering 115th year of working as a Ministry of Magic Unspeakable.

THIS IS THE SUPER COOL PAGE BREAK

The mid-morning light outside of the large cottage's window filtered through, giving the room a golden tint. There was a four-poster bed, with the headboard pushed up upon the north wall of the room. Inside this bed was a boy, seemingly around ten or eleven years old, with jet black hair, a pale but healthy complexion, an and a thin lightning bolt scar donning his forehead.

POP

"Master Harry Potter Sir, yous needs to wake up! Yous is going to be late for the Hoggy Express!" The house elf snapped her fingers and an outfit of a plain black robe, black trousers, and a white shirt appeared on the end of the bed. The house elf POPPED out of the room.

Harry's eyes slowly opened, exposing emerald green, and he slid out of the bed smoothly. Getting out of his bed, one could see that handsome, aristocratic features donned his face. He seemed to be about 177 centimeters, quite tall for a lad his age. Also, which would catch the interest of quite a few people, were the black feathered wings, seamlessly erupting from his back, reaching the span equal to his arms' length. The young boy yawned and, if one looked closely, inside his mouth were a quartet of fangs, sharp enough to cause a fatal injury.

Harry soon got dressed and walked down the ornate hallway of the cottage and reached the well-stocked kitchen. He was assaulted by the smell of a breakfast fit for a king.

"Yous need to sit down and eat before yous is going to the Hoggy Express." The house elf was standing on a stool pointing a ladle threateningly at him.

Harry grinned and sat down. He grabbed a knife and a fork, and dug in. "This is outstanding Prinnie!"

So, you might be asking yourself "How in the world did Harry get from von Rosenburg's lair, and get into a nice set up like this?" Well, I'll answer that for you.

You see, Harry woke up in the middle of the Black Forest in Germany (of course, he didn't know that) and wondered for hours. Eventually he started to suffer from starvation, but then a voice spoke to him.

'Harry, let me take control'

As many of us would do, being surrounded by the sounds of nature for a couple weeks and nothing else, Harry was startled into tripping on the forest floor at hearing the voice.

He called out, whilst getting back up and regaining his footing, "What--who's that—who's there!?"

The voice answered, 'I am the spirit of the phoenix blood that was stolen from me and given to you. My physical body moved on to a phoenix death many decades ago, but part of my essence, my spirit, remained embodied within the blood, for it was not willingly given.'

Harry realized that the voice was speaking inside his head, but was still greatly frightened, because voices in your head makes one be considered insane. Anyway, he spoke to the voice, "What's a phoenix, and what did you mean by taking control?"

'Harry, I apologize, it has taken some time for me to gather the strength to speak to you, and now that I can, we can transform into what my physical body was, and I will be able to guide you to food and water. As for what a phoenix is, I will start off with saying that it is a type of bird. Now, relax and let my presence take control.'

Harry blinked, confused by this whole concept, but tried to relax as much as possible nonetheless. Soon, he felt a soothing entity make itself known in his mind, and he felt his body begin to morph into a completely new shape. He felt his very core begin to change, accommodating the new body. He saw himself shrinking, and felt his arms recede into his torso and two new extremities erupt from his back. Soon, as quickly as it started, it stopped. Harry looked at himself and found that he was covered with black feathers, and wings had sprouted from his back.

'Hmmm...this is an odd turn of events. It seems that your natural animagus form was a phoenix, thus you having black feathers, instead of my red and green. I shall explain what an animagus is later. We have things to do.'

Harry then found that his wings were moving on their own, obviously being controlled by the conscience in his mind, and he was lifted up into the air. He found the experience exhilarating, his body slicing through the air, the freedom of being unattached to the ground, the trees and ground below him moving past him at high speeds, all of it beautiful in Harry's mind. He let out a musical trill that brought fourth feelings of joy, happiness, and enjoyment.

'Yes, it is quite beautiful.'

Soon, Harry landed at the edge of a watering hole, and his body quickly transformed back into his normal self. He knelt at the edge and drank deeply, savoring the untampered flavor of the water.

'Now, it is time for the hunt.'

Harry felt his body transform and take flight again, and soon, he felt himself swooping down, half by instinct, half by the phoenix's dictation, and grabbing a large mouse. He mercifully killed it and began his feast upon it.

'Now that you are fed, it is time to begin your education. Before that, though, you may call me Aduro.'

And so it went, Aduro tutoring Harry in the ways of the wizarding world, and how to survive in the wilderness for three years. He taught him will magic (wandless for those who did not know of the old ways). Harry was soon able to transform into his phoenix form at will, along with a leviathan form, and a perverse dementor form, each with their own voices, Lamation and Torvin, respectively. He also had the vampiric thirst, and fed off of the centaurs, who did not even know he was there, in the forest. Harry also began to use his parcelmouth abilities that he seemed to inherit from his basilisk blood. He also gained an immunity to poisons and could inject basilisk venom into the prey he was feeding upon. He also transformed into his werewolf form during the full moon, but, oddly enough, had full control of what he did as he did so. Aduro also discovered that Harry had metamorphamagus abilities, but refrained from teaching him how to do so until he was older, giving him time until they had to leave the forest and return to the public world, and entering Gringotts to claim his inheritance.

But soon, it came to that day where Harry traveled by phoenix flame back to England and entered Diagon Alley. During his time in the forest, he had grown mid-back dreadlocks and his wings had merged with his normal body, for reasons unknown. His facial structure formed a resemblance of the vampires, and he was already developing hair in...odd places on his body because of the lycanthropy. Overall, he was an extremely imposing seven-year-old.

As he walked down the ally, he was subject to many stares and points, but he kept his destination of Gringotts planted firmly in his mind. As he entered the white monolith, he bowed to the outer guards and spoke, "Good evening my associates, may you guard your nation with honor and integrity." The guards were wide-eyed and slack jawed at this, for he had spoken in their native tounge, Gobbledygook, which he had learned from Lamation.

He entered the main chamber and walked to the nearest open teller's booth.

Once again, he spoke in the Goblin Nation's native tounge, "Hello, lord Goblin, I am here to claim my inheritance, of the Potters." And once more, the goblin was unsettled by his use of Gobbledygook, but took it in stride.

"Ahhh, it seems that Lord Potter has returned to the wizarding world. Yes, I shall take you to the inheritance office of Gringotts." He got off of his stool and motioned Harry to follow him around the counter.

The Goblin led him through a maze of corridors and eventually they reached a door that had 'INHERITANCE OFFICE' scribed in Gobbledygook on the front. They entered together and the Goblin sat Harry in a large leather chair in front of a large, lacquered desk. On the other side of the desk sat an older Goblin, with hair growing out of his ears, but not on his head, but he had a braided beard that reached beyond the top of the desk, into the Goblin's lap. On the desk was a nameplate that read: 'Tworndal, Inheritance Director.'

The Goblin that led Harry there walked up to Tworndal and whispered something to him. Tworndal's eyes widened briefly and then waved the Goblin out of his office, thanking him in the process.

"Good evening, Lord Potter. We are overjoyed that you have come to us today. My name is Twornadal, and I am the Inheritance Director."

"Hello, Twornadal, obviously, I am Harry Potter, and I wish to claim the Potter inheritance."

"Good." He then reached in a drawer in his desk and pulled out a black quill and a dark blue piece of parchment. "If you can use this blood quill to sign the line above, that will take care of any problems."

Harry stood and walked to the desk and signed the line with a flourish. He gasped slightly at the pain in his hand, but calmed when he saw that it healed quickly. Soon, the parchment began to write:

Lord Harry James Potter

Lord of the Noble Houses of:

(A/N: Sorry 'bout this)

Potter

Gryffindor

Slytherin

Hufflepuff

Ravenclaw

Myrridin (Also known as the House of Merlin)

Black

Pendragon

Net Worth:

10,,000,000 galleons

Current Monetary Holdings:

4,364,821,751 galleons

Weizengamot Seats:

6 (Totaling 8 percent of Weizengamot power)

Properties:

Too Many To List

Ask Inheritance Director For Details

Investments:

Too Many To List

Ask Inheritance Director For Details

And with that, Harry said, "Oh my--" And he promptly fainted.

END CHAPTER

Well, sorry 'bout the cliffie,' but I wanted to get this out as soon as possible.

For those of you who don't like him getting big inheritances...WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, IT'S FUCKING AWSOME!