It was a beautiful evening. England was in the middle of a heat wave so every night was warm and welcoming, barely cooling before dawn set in. It was perfect weather to be outside and practicing with a sniper rifle. Seras smiled as she wriggled into a better position on the dewy grass. She needed to work on her accuracy and she couldn't think of anything that could be better to do. Integra was busy with meetings and so no missions were planned. Pip was down at the rifle range, mainly because she kept screeching at him whenever he tried to surreptitiously look up her skirt. Thanks to her inability to rebuke his advances in an adult manner she was enjoying an evening of solace, unadulterated by chipped vampires, lusty Frenchmen or ghouls.

She'd been happily taking out mannequins, thoughtfully placed out by some of the geese, for an hour when she felt it. It was a strange sensation that flicked down her spine like a snake. If her master had been there he'd probably had thought she'd had some form of psychic vision that vampires were prone to. He'd have been wrong. She knew exactly what it was. It happened quite frequently actually. She stood up, crossing her rifle over her chest and sprinted as surreptitiously as she could manage back to her rooms.

Seras had never really been off the grounds of Hellsing manor since she'd been turned, unless she was on duty. She hadn't really thought about it before because she'd always been busy with missions or sleeping them off. After looking in her armoire she realised that the only clothes she had were her uniform and some pyjamas. This was a problem. She couldn't make clothes out of thoughts like her master could. It hadn't been an issue yet; nothing had required mending or replacing. She decided that she needed to go to a shopping centre somewhere close but…

Was she even allowed to go out?

Seras started to feel very small, no small feat given her height and voluptuousness. People would notice, she knew the geese spent most of their working hours staring at her (although she knew not why, she was worried it was because she wasn't pulling her weight). Even without close scrutiny it would be very hard not to notice. They were conspicuous.

Now, more than ever, she wished her mum was still alive to take her bra shopping.

If Seras had been feeling logical she would have walked up to Integra's office later that evening and asked for some leave that Thursday. Afterwards she would have rigged her brassiere to hold for the requisite nights until she made it to the closest department store. Hellsing were not supposed to pay her, technically she was dead, but she knew Walter spirited some away into a company account. She'd have used it to buy enough support to last her a year and then returned home.

Seras was not feeling logical. She was feeling more… emotional than usual. Not as helpless as she'd ever felt but it was close enough. So, Seras did not go to see Integra and she certainly did not ask Alucard for advice. She locked her door, pushed the table up against the door, put on her gloves and then placed her silver ammo clips on the table. After making her room feel protected, however slightly, Seras allowed herself to cry. That is, Seras began to wail like the undead being that she was.

Pip was having a pleasant evening. Integra had bullied her way into an increased budget and had awarded him a raise just that afternoon. He'd decided to go tell Seras about it but hadn't found her practicing where she'd been the previous night. After checking the firing range he decided to try her rooms. He whistled cheerfully as he walked, looking forward to showing off in front of his favourite and most attractive subordinate. As he jumped down the stairs into the dungeon he began to hear a strange noise. He shrugged it off initially but it became louder the further he progressed towards Seras' room. As he came to her door he realised that he could hear sobbing. From the pitch it was a woman, probably Seras, given that she was about the only girl in the place aside from Lord Hellsing whom it was believed lacked tear ducts.

Pip knocked on her door, despite a growing sense of dread. The sobbing stilled somewhat but it didn't seem as though she was planning on letting him in any time soon. Pip knocked again, this time loudly proclaiming his presence as "Pip, your admirable captain!" He leant away from the wall awaiting her reply. He wasn't surprised by her reply but he was a little surprised at the tone, which was petulant.

"Go away."

Pip had much experience with irritable women, he usually caused their ire in the first place but he was also quite adept at bedding said women. This was nothing he could not handle. Whether she had a pulse or not, there was no lady in existence that could totally resist him. Save Sir Integra, who did not count under any circumstance.

"Ma Cherie, why are you crying so? Come out so I can kiss it better!"

Placating with just a little innuendo; a combination that worked with teenagers and elderly ladies, with varying success in-between.

"Leave me alone! I'm not some pet dolly-shaped parasite that you can poke fun at because she ranks lower than an indentured servant."

Clearly that one was a swing and a miss. Although he was beginning to doubt that Seras was the one in that room. He didn't think she knew what the word "indentured" meant for one thing. Sounded like her though, beneath the gnashing of teeth and gulps for air that she was taking between words. He stepped closer to the door, idling forward left foot over right. When he was an appropriate distance away he began to lean his ear closer to the grainy wood. A hand extended itself from the handle and dragged him bodily into the wall.

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Pip retreated but did not go far. He landed on his arse and refused to move further. Somebody needed to have a word to her father… Master about this. Still, a smarmy womaniser probably wasn't the best choice to break the news. Pip decided that it was in his best interests to stay where he was and stare at Seras' room with horror.

After what felt like an hour, someone did decide to make an appearance.

Alucard slipped out the wall, scaring the bejesus out of Pip in the process. While Pip was comically clutching at his heart Alucard was looking from himself to the police girl. There was still a door in place but that had never stopped him before. The older vampire started sneering in disgust but he seemed torn between directing it at his protégé for crying or Pip for making her do so. Pip raised one hand defensively.

"I had nothing to do with eet."

Alucard snorted in response and then walked swiftly through the door into Seras' room. He exited just as quickly. His hair was sticking at odd angles and his hat and glasses were missing. A howl of abject despair permeated the corridor. Alucard turned to Pip and grimaced.

"I never taught her that."

The sobbing became one long, continuous sob. Pip was darkly amused at how uncomfortable Alucard looked. He had the feeling that the image would stay with him the next time Alucard made him feel inadequate for needing air to survive.

Integra had achieved today. Her resources were more considerable than they had been and she was delegating successfully and freeing up her time. Sure, she'd had to cultivate a climate of fear amongst her assistants but it had been worth it. She allowed herself a moment to bask in her own glory. It didn't last long. When she calmed her mind for repose she became aware of grating background noise. Probably banshees again or some other sidhe, Irish thing. Bloody drunken Irish undead. Wait, she corrected herself, 'fae'.

She went downstairs to investigate, pocketing a sawed-off shotgun as she left her office.

Integra had always been proud of her men. They were often dirty, rude and somewhat disrespectful of authority but they all liked to beat up Catholics and they did as they were told. Integra was beginning to consider becoming ashamed of at least two under her command. Both of them looked dishevelled and guilty and both were standing outside a room that contained a loudly distressed girl. Clearly Walters butler-sense had been tingling because he too appeared, brandishing silver wire.

Alucard looked between his master, the angel of death and Seras (again ignoring her door). He quickly brushed his hair over one shoulder and straightened himself.

"I had nothing to do with eet! I mean it!"

"Me either!"

It was hardly believable, especially since the police girl had begun shouting as well.

"Master, how could you?"

Walter had been crafting a glare especially for Nazis, heretics and the Dutch for many years. He unleashed it upon Alucard at this moment but waited for Sir Hellsing to give her blessing before he proceeded to eviscerate him. Integra raised her hand, indicating that he wait. She approached Seras' door and knocked sharply.

"I expect to be let in, Victoria; else I shall let myself in."

Unlike Pip, who was quite slapdash in his approach to applying psychology to everyday situations, Integra knew exactly how to word and execute a conversation. Seras opened the door slightly and closed it slightly when she saw her Master and her commander. Integra silently ordered them to move down the corridor. The two were encouraged by Walter's maniacal grin, which was only within their line of sight. A short while later the sound of furniture scraping against the floor was heard and Integra entered Seras' room.

The room was spotless but Seras was a mess. Her pale face was streaked with bloody tears. She had sacrificed a tea towel to prevent ruining her uniform as well. She seemed more slouched than usual and she looked very young. Most people presumed the Integra was not good at dealing with distraught people, the elderly or children. They were wrong. If you gave Integra Wingates Hellsing a kindergarten class to teach she would do so and she would do so well. The students would be taught to read and eviscerate the godless hordes within a month, afterwhich she would likely send them to do so (in the name of England and her majesty). Integra Wingates Hellsing was capable of anything and incapable of nothing.

Seras stopped sobbing after one minute under Integra's measured attention.

"I'm sorry sir, I don't know what came over me."

Integra chose this moment to pat Seras on the shoulder, once.

"There. There. It was a most grievous oversight not to inform you of your rights at work. Unfortunately you are a member of such a small minority that you do not have a union."

"Yes, I suppose so."

"I imagine that you require some personal leave."

"Why, yes, sir."

"I'm afraid you will have to be supervised off grounds. This is for your sake as someone technically deceased as opposed to that of the general public."

Integra said "general public" in the same way as she might say "industrial effluent". Seras smiled anyway.

"Shall I have one of the geese accompany you?"

Seras flushed beet red and Integra brought forth the information she had obtained into a cohesive whole. She was a busty woman herself, the signs were obvious.

"Perhaps you need a more discreet companion?"

"Thank you, sir Integra."

That Thursday Integra Wingates Hellsing took Seras Victoria to the local shopping facility. She was dressed in a manner less severe than usual, so as not to attract attention. She would rather people presume she was Seras' sister than the other alternative. The only person that saw her attire before she left, other than Walter, was Alucard. Alucard did not laugh at her affected normalcy. He knew better.

Seras looked rather, sultry, in her combat boots, mini and knotted mens' shirt. Luckily it was currently fashionable and she got away with it. Alucard was also one of the few to see her attempting to dress casually on limited resources. He did not laugh at that either, nor did he leer. It was fairly hard to do so when his throat was being constricted with metal filament. Walter waved goodbye to them both.

Upon their return Seras had obtained enough clothes and underwear to last her a good amount of time (approximately 30 raids). Integra had managed to convert all the jewellery shops in the local region into vampire-specific munitions developers. They both agreed that they would shop together again sometime. Integra Wingates Hellsing knew an opportunity when she saw it.

BWAHAHA! Points for anyone who gets the reference to workers agreements (which are replacing standard contracts in Australia, bastard government).