Disclaimer: As much as I would like otherwise...Rock Lee and Gai-sensei(along with the rest of the Naruto-verse) are not my playthings...but at least I get to borrow them every so often

KIBA'S INTERVENTION

Kiba was slowly being backed into a corner by the other 'rookie nine', along with Rock Lee and Tenten (Neji had scoffed and refused to come). "W-what's this about, guys?"

"You know perfectly well what this is about, Kiba," said Ino firmly.

"This is your intervention," continued Sakura.

"Intervention? What do you mean?" Kiba could feel sweat running along the red markings on his cheeks. Akamaru's furry little body was quivering next to his chest, inside his coat.

"It's your jacket, Kiba," spoke Saskuke, calmly advancing. "As the chief of the fashion police, I can't allow that eye-sore."

That last statement made him a little angry, "Hey, I like this jacket!" Kiba spotted a gap in between Lee and Chouji, he rushed for it, but was caught under the arms by both genins. "Sorry, Kiba-kun, but this is for your own good," Lee explained solemnly. Chouji nodded in agreement.

"Keep a tight hold on him, boys," Ino ordered with a smirk.

"You may like your jacket," Sakura made a face, "but no one else does."

Kiba struggled as best he could, but it was useless—Lee and Chouji were the strongest among his peers. "Look, what's so bad about my jacket, huh? It's warm, durable, and Akamaru likes it too."

"Yip, yip!" concurred the puppy.

"As I said," stated Sasuke, crossing his arms, "it's an eye-sore."

"And it's completely unfair to the rest of us!" shouted out Ino.

Kiba blinked, "Huh?"

"You're sexy!" screeched Sakura.

Kiba blinked again, "Huh?"

"What my fellow members of the fashion police are trying to say," Sasuke glared at Ino and Sakura, "is that you are depriving them of valuable eye-candy, by not showing your features to their best advantage. In short: your ugly jacket makes you ugly."

"Yeah, what he said!" unisoned Ino and Sakura.

Akamaru growled. Kiba was in total agreement. "Hey! I may not be a pretty boy, like you, Sasu-gay, but I'm not ugly!"

"But that's just it," said Sasuke in the patient tone one uses for hard-headed five year olds, "you are a pretty boy…in a really hideous jacket. Sakura, Ino—the scissors!"

"Aye, aye, Sasuke-kun!" cooed the girls.

Kiba's ears twitched. Scissors? Akamaru whimpered.

All too soon, Sakura and Ino had returned, both carrying shinny, sharp, steel scissors that were longer than their arms. "W-what are you going to do with those?" but Kiba already had a sneaking suspicion that he already knew what they were doing. "Let's not be too hasty, okay?!" He was struggling for all he was worth, trying to slip through the grasp of the genins to either side of him. As the girls came ever closer, evil in their eyes, Kiba began to plead, "Please! Chouji, Lee! Let me go!" But they were death to his begging.

SNIP!

Riiiiiiiiiipppp

Shear

TearrrrrrRRR

S

H

R

E

D

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

"There," Sakura wiped her large brow, "it's done. Now, that wasn't so bad, was it Kiba."

Kiba, finally freed from his captors' grip, slid, boneless, to the floor, lying in the mangled remains of his beloved jacket.

A look of concern crossed Ino's face for a moment when Kiba started to sob in the fetal position. "Kiba-kun…are you okay?"

"He'll be fine," Sasuke stated brusquely. "Now, if you don't mind, I have to be going; I'm late for a hair appointment." He disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Ino still looked worried, and even Sakura's hardened expressioned softened in the wake of the poor boy's tears—that is…until Rock Lee caught her eye, as he was trying to comfort Kiba.

"Ino! I see another much needed intervention by the fashion police!" The blonde girl followed Sakura's line of sight, and gained a wicked grin.

Lee didn't like the way the two girls were looking at his leg-warmers. He started to back away slowly, unknowingly becoming trapped by the same corner that Kiba was caught in earlier. "S-Sakura-chan, I-Ino-chan, why are you staring at me like that?"

Sakura and Ino nodded in agreement, and lunged for the jump-suited genin.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!"

A/N: Yes, the Jacket of Unsexiness is gone! Sorry, Kiba! Hopefully there are no hard feelings... ;