Disclaimer: (Must we always do this????) fine. I do not, in ANY way own the lovely gravitation or any of its characters... 'pouts'. Happy now?
Summary: What if in order to gain something you had to give something in return. To bad for suguru that meant giving the only thing besides his talent that he had. One shot
Warning: This fic contains incest and cutting. It is also boyXboy. So If you aren't comfortable with that then I advise you not to read this.
A/N: ' giggles uncontrollably' Oh how I love writing fic's even though mine always tend to come out darker than I want them too... but what can I do. Oh well anyways hope you guys enjoy this fic.
I couldn't do it anymore. The guilt of it all had hit me all at once and I stumbled backwards in complete shock.
I placed my hand to my mouth to stop myself from puking all over my room, well my temporary room anyway, and I sat shaking slightly on my bed.
How could I have done this..? I knew he was involved with someone else. Knew that she had been in love with him all along and yet-
I suddenly realized I had no choice.
It came out of nowhere and I vomited all over the carpet. Just the thought of what I had done with him, with both of them.
" Oh God."
The tears fall from my eyes and I don't think I can move but I do and I walk out of the room stumbling slightly down the dark hallway towards the bathroom.
Images of what happened plagued my mind and I had to will my head to stop spinning.
"You knew from the beginning what you had to do if I helped you... I could of just left you in the God forsaken house with those horrible parents of yours you know."
I was bending down in front of him on my knees. I knew what he wanted. Some sort of damn reward for being my savoir.
" Can't gain something without giving something in return..." I heard this from the other side of the room but I ignored it completely.
I was beginning to wonder if it would have been safer being with my unfit parents instead of him. In my eyes they were all the same.
I looked around the dark room. No one was there to save me; no one was ever there to save me.
I was used to being the helpless one.
He grabbed my green hair and made me look at him. I did and he had a smirk on his face, his aquamarine eyes looked dull in the darkness.
" I'm not standing here for my health Suguru-kun you know exactly what to do."
I looked to my right and saw the quiet figure sitting in the corner his cold golden eyes scanning over me hungrily.
"You know exactly what we want don't you Suguru?" He got up from the small couch Tohma had in his room and walked over to us. I looked away and closed my eyes.
I wondered about Eiri's reasons for being there. I suppose he had his own demons to get rid of too.
'Shuichi please don't hate me...Mika please forgive me.'
I felt another pair of hands grab me from behind and I took a deep breath in.
The sound of the zipper reached my ears and yet it sounded so far away.
Reaching the bathroom I puke again. This time in the toilet.
A week.
That's how long this latest sin had taken place and I couldn't take it anymore.
I lock the door even though I knew he was asleep right now and I look around frantically.
I felt so filthy inside but thing was this wasn't the first time and I knew it wouldn't be the last. I needed to take away this stress though, needed to forget.
Opening the cabinet door I spot the sharp silver blade picking it up with careful finger. I press it against my wrist.
" What the hell is this?"
Tohma grabbed my wrist and I winced in pain.
Eiri didn't seem to be listening. He was to busy sucking on my neck from behind.
Tohma looked angrily from my brown dull eyes to my thin slit wrist.
" I cut myself to relieve the pain." I whispered
Tohma's anger disappeared into something else all in one instant.
"Stupid stupid boy." he chuckled kissing my wrist, "Seems I don't punish you enough huh?"
I dragged it quickly across my wrist. The blood dripped slowly into the sink.
I bit my lip to stop myself from crying out and with a shaky hand I cut my other wrist.
Dropping the blade I look at the red staining the tile floor. I stumble once before sitting on the tile leaning against the sink.
I felt so weak... so lost. There was no one to help me.
My eyes suddenly became heavy and I suddenly felt the need to sleep.
I close my eyes and don't realize it but someone's knocking on the bathroom door.
'Not now I don't want anyone to find me. Just leave me alone let me be at peace.'
Everything's fading the banging gets quieter and I smile.
Maybe now I could be at peace. After all Tohma owed me this much... this peace.
"Can't expect to gain something without loosing something in return."
I smile before darkness completely consumes me.
'Thank you for sending me over the edge.'
A/N:... Oh don't give me that look!!! I already feel terrible for doing that to poor Sugura. Humph!! To make you all feel better i'll give you free cookies!!! Any of your choice but only if you review!!! otay?? Goody. OoOoOohh I almost forgot to tell you all to look out for my first actual Chapter fic called 'When doves cry.' I'm not telling you what or who its about you'll see when I post it. Ha ha. Till next time!