Title: Nobody Knows

Pairing: Fez/Hyde

Disclaimer: I don't own that '70s show no matter how much I wish I did.

It was over two in the morning now and Fez still hadn't fallen asleep, having moved down to Hyde's room in the basement because of Eric's abysmal inadequacy to make whale noises. That stupid loof. But it really was quite late, and Fez would've fallen asleep eventually. Without the whale sounds, this would've been the time he'd be drifting off to sleep anyway. So there had really been no need to move down to Hyde's room. However, with the cot already moved by a very peeved Red to the surprisingly cozy room in the basement, Fez finally decided to just make the most out of this night. He was woken up all over again anyway and to hell with possibly getting any sleep at all tonight. Fortunately, Hyde had still been awake, listening to his Led Zeppelin records and working on his most recent pissed off letter to the government. Which in turn, pissed Red off even further, ordering both of them to "get the hell to sleep and you better not make a single peep for the rest of the damn night, or my foot is gonna sleep in your ass!"

Now, with the lights turned off, both boys lay wide awake next to each other. In separate beds of course.

"Hey thanks a lot Fez, now that's one less letter to plague the government with. I'm gonna be letting conspirator theorists everywhere down," said Hyde finally.

"Oh, pipe down, you're always working on your letters anyway. For once, just leave it to the other crazy government conspiracy people and work on it tomorrow," Fez answered. Then he added, "You know, this is fun. It's like a girls' sleepover."

Hyde propped himself up in bed and stared disgustedly at Fez. "Fez, nothing I do is like a girls' sleepover. We're men for gods sake. Quit thinking about everything like a damn girl. And if this was a girls' sleepover, there would be some hot making out going on…and I'd be watching…heh." He finished with a satisfied smirk at the thought and lay back down.

"Ohh, the sexiest kind of sleepover there is. The kind I think about when I'm tending to my needs." Fez added.

Hyde made another disgusted face at nothing in particular. "I really didn't need to know that."

"Whatever,you're missing out. Well, good night." said Fez.

"'Night, man."

Fez turned on his side and pulled his covers snug around him. He gave a little sigh before he closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep. Just as his mind was entering the depths of his subconscious, something cold and wet and slimy pressed against the side of his neck and began to slide its way to the front. His heart pounding, Fez yelled and started out of whatever dream he was about to have, and his hand flew instinctively to his neck, where it brushed against the cold, wet thing that Hyde was now pulling away.

Hyde collapsed into silent, hysterical laughter. "Man, I totally got you! That is just good 2-in-the-morning entertainment."

"Son-of-a-bitch!" Fez growled angrily, now able to make out the cherry flavored Popsicle Hyde was now licking. "It is always the foreigner you pick on at a sleepover!"

"Well, seeing as you're the only other one here, I guess it is," Hyde replied, grinning in amusement. "Alright, no more tricks. Good night, Fez."

"Good night. And you better mean that."

Once again, Fez was just about to drift off before a second rude awakening of the same nature as the first one occured. This time, he didn't scream, but immediately sat up again in surprise and frustration as he tried to swat the Popsicle away, which Hyde was able to keep lingering for a few more seconds. "Hyde!"

Hyde was laughing into his pillow so as to not wake Red up. "Man Fez, you know better than to trust me on that."

"Hyde, stop it, my neck is getting all sticky!" Fez whined, trying to wipe some of the Popsicle off with his hand.

"Man, you're starting to sound like Jackie. Well, that isn't much of a surprise since you borrow her curling iron."

"Well great, I'm afraid to go to sleep now, too, because you're probably going to attack me with another Popsicle you son of a bitch!"

"Ah, it's no fun anymore when you catch on."

"So will you stop doing it?"

"Oh, no Fez, I'm gonna keep doing it. It's just slightly less entertaining if you're gonna be totally awake."

"You bastard!" Fez crossed his arms and lay back down angrily on his cot.

Hyde chuckled again, always amused by his friend's girly nature. But it was more funny than annoying when it was Fez. Fez was always able to make him laugh. "Alright Fez, no more. I mean it this time."

"Well, you said yourself that I shouldn't trust you…so I'm keeping one eye on you. The other one will be closed so I can sleep."

"Okay Fez, first, I don't think that's possible. Second, I finished the Popsicle. Here, look." Hyde held up a Popsicle stick, without the Popsicle part.

Fez still eyed him warily, studying Hyde's face in the dark for some giveaway.

A little exasperated, but still amused, Hyde finally said, "Ok, why don't you come up here."

"And make it easier for you? I don't think so, Hyde."

"No, man, serious. I can't do it if you're right next to me. Plus, it's better than that cot."

Fez was silent for awhile, contemplating his options. As if he really did that what with all the stupid things he did anyway. However, he had fantasized about sharing a bed with his friends (on more than one occasion), which had been met by those weirded out looks they often gave him when he let it slip. Yes, he was a "very fruity kid," as Red put it. Finally, Fez got up off of the cot and climbed in under the covers next to Hyde. Well, Hyde was right about one thing. It was better than the cot. Much better…

Fez turned towards Hyde so that they were lying down face to face. He wiggled around a little to get cozy.

"Okay Fez, don't get too comfortable. This isn't a girls' sleepover, and your wife might not be too happy about it..." He sniggered at his last joke, since it was common knowledge there wasn't an ounce of love that Laurie had for Fez. And vice versa. Fez just wanted to sleep with her. Oh, and get his green card.

"Oh, don't joke about that, Hyde. It's so humiliating to know that my wife is a cheating whore."

"Geez man, you don't even love her. Why do you care so much?"

"Oh I don't, but if she's my wife, she should at least act the part. And that means sleeping with me."

Hyde shook his head in disbelief. "Fez my friend, you are in need of some serious help."

Fez gave a little laugh and impulsively moved a little closer to Hyde so that their bodies were almost right up against each other. Hyde was about to protest, but hesitated. It wasn't that bad and Fez was just being extremely girly. Plus, it was Hyde who had invited him up here.

Hyde also leaned a little closer to Fez and slung one of his arms over him around his waist, pulling Fez just the tiniest bit closer too. Not such a big deal because Fez was almost equivalent to a girl and who had to know anyway? Hyde's rebellious side took over a little (or a lot, given his unfamiliarity with boy on boy love), knowing that what they were doing might be the teensiest bit forbidden…and sexy. And no one knew.

Fez smiled and ran one of his hands through Hyde's hair in response and placed the other one on his chest, which was covered by a Led Zeppelin t-shirt. They lay there for a few seconds, finally allowing themselves to do what came to them. Hyde's hand roamed around Fez's back, slipping under his shirt and exploring the smooth, dark skin underneath, slowly making its way up to his neck. Fez sighed with comfort and satisfaction and pulled Hyde's face closer to his. Hyde wrapped his other arm around Fez's shoulders. In a split second, they both leaned in, and their lips met, with a gentle caress. They tasted each other's lips, Fez savoring the sweet flavor of a cherry popsicle Hyde had just finished minutes before. He ran his fingers along Hyde's rough, unshaven face and deepened the kiss. Hyde gently tried to pry the other boy's lips open with his mouth, and slowly let his tongue slide its way in, little by little, as much as Fez would allow. Even Fez was a little unsure of this, but some roaming and a little more touching caused a soft moan to escape him, and he opened his mouth a little more, allowing Hyde's tongue to fully enter, and his own to wander into the other boy's mouth.

It might've been a pretty long kiss, or it may have lasted only a few seconds. The boys weren't keeping track. But eventually, they had to come up for air. Both breathing hard, neither said anything for a few seconds while they caught their breath. Now, it did feel a little weird because neither of them had ever had any boy on boy action, and they were even more weirded out by the fact that they were enjoying it plenty.

"Hyde…" Fez began.

"Yeah?"

"You kiss better than a girl."

Hyde hesitated a while, trying to interpret that comment before answering. "Ok, I'll take that as a compliment and not kick your ass." He finally said, regaining some of his zen.

"It is one." Fez giggled and kissed him quickly again on the lips.

"Well," Hyde said, "I could honestly say that was the best kiss I've ever had with a guy."

"Oh come on, just say you liked it." Fez teased.

"Um…nope." Hyde smiled his teasing, stubborn smile right back.

Fez then tried to lunge himself on top of his friend, but it wasn't much of a contest. Hyde expertly pushed Fez back down on the sheets and pushed himself on top. They wrestled a bit, silently laughing, Fez trying to get out from under Hyde and Hyde effortlessly keeping in control. He pinned Fez's shoulders down and leaned down for another kiss, pressing hard on his lips. He finally got off of Fez, breathing hard and laughing.

They lay side by side again, facing each other, arms entwined around each other's bodies. Hyde pulled the covers over their heads and dipped his head down to kiss Fez on the neck. Fez shivered responsively at this new sensation, and let out a soft "mmm..", urging Hyde to go on. Hyde kept kissing him, stopping at the spot where the popsicle had dried on his neck, and ran his tongue over it, tasting it, sucking, biting, until Fez let out a very audible moan, able to be heard by anyone who might've been standing at the foot of the stairs. Not that there was anyone there. Hyde then started making his way downwards till he reached Fez's shirt collar, and began unbuttoning his shirt, continuing to trail down and kiss him.

Fez slipped both his hands under Hyde's t-shirt and pulled it off of him, just as Hyde undid the last button and Fez shook his shirt off. Fez ran his hands over his friend's bare chest as they kissed some more and all awareness of the rest of the world faded from their minds until they were the only two people that-

Until the creaking of floorboards above them jolted them back to reality. They jumped and broke apart abruptly, lying still and listening. Somewhere above them, a door creaked open, and they heard footsteps descending the basement stairs. Fez gasped, and Hyde put his hand over his friend's mouth to quiet him. They lay still again, hearts pounding, neither daring to make a single move. The footsteps stopped right outside the bedroom door, and there was utter silence as the person who was right outside seemed to listen, trying to detect a single peep. After what seemed like an eternity, they heard the footsteps climbing back up the stairs and a voice that mumbled "dumbasses" and the door closing, leaving the basement in peace and solitude again.

Both boys let out a long sigh of relief.

"Wow, didn't know we were being that noisy." Hyde finally said.

"Yes…and now we can't do it anymore." Fez replied, turning around, crestfallen.

Hyde smiled and kissed him on the back of his neck, wrapping his arms around Fez tightly. "Sure we still can." He whispered, lightly stroking Fez's neck with the back of his fingers. "Tonight? If the IRS agent doesn't come…or does."

"Does it matter?" Fez smiled and moved back, closer to Hyde, and Hyde held him tighter. Fez could feel the warm breath on the back of his neck and finally slept, realizing that he would be perfectly fine with a delay in getting his green card.