Mike stood in the long lunch line behind Bella and Edward, who was standing next to her. He groaned. They had been standing there for what seemed like forever!

I should ask Bella what's going on with her and Cullen. I hate him. Who does he think he is?! He could have any girl here and he decides to go for the one that I'm going for. That is not fair… I hate him. Did I say that already? I think I did. Ok well, just making sure. I want to make sure that I never ever get along with him as long as he lives. Mike thought to himself.

Edward smiled to himself when he heard Mike's thoughts. He wrapped his arm around her waist just to rub it in a little. Bella smiled and leaned into him.

There he goes again. Touching her. Maybe she doesn't want him too. That would be like molestation. Poor Bella, being molested by Cullen. But then why won't she tell him to stop? Oh, right, because Bella is too nice for that. He mentally gasped. What if she does like it?! Then it wouldn't be molestation! Maybe she doesn't like me. Why wouldn't she though? I mean I'm basically a hott looking guy, aren't I? Jessica certainly thinks so. WHY WON'T BELLA GO OUT WITH ME?! Do I smell? Maybe that's it. No, I don't think so…I mean I put some cologne on this morning…He mentally gasped again. Maybe she doesn't like this smell! I should go get some other ones…

Edward was laughing hysterically to himself. Was this guy for real?

Does Cullen wear any? If he does then it is like mosquitoes and sugar. Except why would you think of Cullen as sugar? Ew. That's disgusting. Bella probably thinks of him as sugar…but she wouldn't be a mosquito. She's too pretty…WAIT! Why in the world would she think Cullen was sugar, unless if he really does taste like sugar…EWWW! Calm down Mike. It's all right. I just have to keep saying to myself that Bella is a virgin. Bella is a virgin. Bella is a virgin. Bella is a virgin. Mike sighed in relief in his mind. Whew. That's better.

Edward rolled his eyes. Mike is pathetic.

I hate Cullen. Look at me I'm Edward Cullen, I can have any girl I want but I'm stupid and go for the innocent ones. It is so unfair how people are so in love with me because I look so awesome. I am so goddamn fine and everyone knows it but I'm going to pretend that I don't even though I really do know that I am. Yeah. That's right. I'm smokin hot and you know it. Oh! Especially my hair. My hair has its own thing goin on. Yeah. I know I make everyone so jealous with its silky shine. Mike mocked him.

Edward couldn't take it. He let out a laugh and Mike froze.

Was I talking out loud? I don't think so. God I hope not. Cullen would kill me if I tried going after Bella. Yeah right. He can't take me on. I would so whoop his ass. Bella will be mine eventually. You can't stop me Cullen!

Edward continued chuckling at Mike's inane, unthreatening thoughts. Bella smiled as they got out of the lunch line and walked to the table Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were already at. " What?" she asked him.

He considered telling Bella about Mike's crazy inner dialogue but then decided that it would be more fun if he just let Mike continue to pursue her unsuccessfully. "Nothing," he answered. " Do you like my hair?"

"Yes. I love your hair. It's got this little…wave to it." Bella smiled. " Why?"

" Just wondering." Edward chuckled.