Normalcy

"Because Raito-kun is the first friend I've ever had." L says it so calmly, but it startles Raito so badly. Ryuuku makes a surprised noise behind him.

"Yeah… I also feel that Ryuuzaki is an irreplaceable friend." He gives a friendly smile that covers his shock well.

And later, sitting on his bed, in his room, safe from L's eyes and—most importantly—Misa, he wonders why he doesn't just give up. Why he doesn't march over to the hotel, hold his hands out to L, and say, "I'm Kira."

L knew as well as he did that half the time he was lying anyways, and yet he continued to do so. They both knew it. Hell, it might even be worth the look of surprise and suspicion that would undoubtedly come over L's eyes. None of that would be in the detective's plans at all.

He lay back with his hands behind his head and looks at the Death Note, which is sitting on his desk. For a startling moment he thinks that he may have just dreamed up everything; the lies, the criminals, Kira, L... It feels just like when he first looked over at the Death Note from his bed, scoffing at the mere idea of a notebook of death. So normal. He hadn't really felt normal in a long time.

But then he looks over at the shinigami munching quietly—for once—on an apple. Heaving a sigh, he gets up, heading out the door, knowing that it isn't a dream and that he can't go back to being a normal young genius in high school with straight A's in all his honors courses.

"Stay here." he says to the shinigami, who pulls out another apple to munch on. Ryuuku gives a noise that sounds like a cross between an "uh-huh" and a euphoric moan of ecstasy.

Raito leaves the house with the Death Note tucked safely into the waistband of his pants, saying briefly to his mom that he's going to the store for some more barbecue chips (More lies, he thinks to himself, slightly aggravated). When he's outside, he walks purposefully towards the current hotel L was staying in, wanting nothing more that to just end it all.

Upon approaching it, though, he comes to a halt, uncertain. …Could he really do this? Could he really give himself up so easily? After all the months of planning and lying and killing, could it be so easy to just throw it all away…? He sighs and stands there, wondering, looking at the cracked concrete which is covered with dead leaves.

"Raito-kun…?" inquires a voice softly. Startled, he jerks his head up, meeting eyes with a certain raccoon detective. "You've been standing out here for an hour, Raito-kun." Raito looks at his watch, which confirms L's words.

"Ah, sorry," he says with an embarrassed smile that he discovers is real. "I must have gotten caught up in my thoughts."

"What where you thinking of?" prompts the detective curiously, pressing the pad of his thumb to his teeth.

"Normalcy; it's dead." he mutters, inducing a small smile on the older man's face.

"Perhaps you'd like to come up and have a cup of normalcy, then?" L says, nodding in the direction of the hotel.

Raito laughs. "That would be wonderful!"

"That would be normal." Ryuuzaki—for now, Ryuuzaki—says, walking alongside Raito.

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These are just a bunch of my reject drabbles, okay? I call them that because I don't feel they're good enough, for some reason or another. This is the first of most likely many to come. Hope that you enjoyed if you decided to read it. I don't expect reviews, so don't feel obligated.