Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! It's ZoLuey goodness! At least, that's what I'm aiming for, but really it's probably more of a proof that you should never, ever give me espresso ice cream late at night.

The Ups and Downs of Singles Awareness

"Happy Valentine's Day, Nami-swan and Robin-chwan! The rest of you suckers, have a crappy normal day," announced Sanji as he set down two perfectly golden-brown, heart-shaped pancakes at the girls' places. The males received an ordinary breakfast.

"Happy Singles' Awareness Day to you too, Princess," groused Zoro. It feels way too early to be up. And that dipshit is yelling at me already... Valentine's Day. I friggin' hate Valentine's day. It's just an excuse for couples to rub their happiness in other people's faces. And for that bastard to fawn over Nami and Robin even more than he already does... Valentine's Day. Bullshit. He sat down and consumed his (excellent, it must be said) toast and bacon as quickly as possible.

Across the table, Luffy had inhaled his food in a heartbeat and now his long, skinny arms darted around the table, searching for a likely victim. A piece of Zoro's bacon disappeared without a trace. He exposed half of another piece and waited. Sure enough, within a few seconds he saw the telltale tan streak of the rubberman's hand flash at his plate, and grabbed it as quickly as he could.

The tactic worked. His fingers pushed a deep indent into the back of a long hand.

"Ite, Zoro! Let go!" whined Luffy.

"Leave me some food, Luffy. It isn't fair for you to eat it all. Idiot."

"Aww." The hand relaxed, and Zoro held on for a second before letting go. Isn't it ironic… he's such an airhead. He probably doesn't even know what flirting is. Not that I'm trying to flirt. Not ever. That's funny. Me, flirting... Zoro shook his green head.

He liked things clear-cut. This was how you did it, that was what happened, things would go this way. Luffy was always throwing him off. One minute serious and listening, the next minute an impossible spaz, Luffy's mood swings were reflected more darkly in Zoro's. He knew he shouldn't care, because Luffy was just that way, but he did.

Sanji whirled happily about the kitchen, preparing this exquisite cooling drink and that savory fresh bread and everything under the sun for the meals he would make for his ladies that day. He banished Luffy, Zoro, Usopp and Chopper. Robin and Nami left on their own.

Zoro walked over to a piece of railing and lay down against it. Better to just sleep the damn day away. He could faintly hear Usopp and Chopper yelling about something. Nami was in her room, Robin was reading, Sanji in the kitchen. But he couldn't hear Luffy. So he's either in trouble, or he's about to rocket himself onto me. But there hadn't been a splash, and there was no joyous cry of "Gomu Gomu no…"

Whatever. He's probably with Chopper and Usopp, then. Zoro closed his eyes and relaxed.

"Zoro?"

"Mmf. What? Oh, hey Luffy." Zoro opened one eye.

"Sanji said I should do a test."

"What kind of test? That's a little weird, huh?"

"Yeah, I thought so too, but he's my cook and he's the best, so he's probably right." Zoro was a little peeved. He's the best… My ass. He's the shittiest, you mean.

"Okay, what did the shit-cook say you should do?"

"Well, he said I should do it with you as a chaperone, and we need to be in the sun." Luffy tugged Zoro to his feet and skipped to an open area of deck. "This is probably okay."

Chaperone? What is Sanji getting at? Zoro eyed Luffy apprehensively. Anything the love-cook suggested would probably end in humiliation or blood loss, and he really wasn't in the mood for either. If that blonde asshole didn't watch it, he would end up with his innards spilled all over the nice clean deck.

"Okay. I'm doing the test. You're supposed to watch me really closely." Luffy glanced at Zoro under his messy bangs, a little uncertainly. Then he raised his hands to the top button of his shirt. One… thin hands gently revealing the beginning of a lithe, tight torso…Two… second button, the first traces of a flush on Luffy's cheeks…Three… Oh no, he didn't… Four… Zoro felt something warm and salty trickling down his chin. Luffy slipped his shirt off, and Zoro collapsed to the deck. He put a hand to his chin and it came away red. Through a mind fogged with alluring, innocent, shirtless Luffy, Zoro managed to gather himself enough to think Sanji… Death… I will KILL YOU… bastard.

"Zoro? Are you okay? You're bleeding a lot. Sanji said this might happen, should I get Chopper?" Zoro opened his eyes. Luffy was leaning over him, wide, dark eyes full of concern…Not again… Zoro blacked out.

(a few hours later)

Zoro yawned. It was dark. His vision focused, and he noticed that he was in a hammock in the mens' cabin. He seemed to be alone. No wait- as he sat up, he noticed Luffy sitting on the couch, watching him. Shirtless. And… Shortless? No, wait, he had boxers on. Zoro swayed and almost fell out of the hammock. He felt a little dizzy, and noticed that somebody had removed his bloodstained shirt. He also noticed a lot of blood on the floor.

"Luffy? Did I drip all of that down here too?" No wonder he felt faint.

Luffy grinned and blushed. "Actually, no. I… uh… had an incident. See, Nami made me take your shirt off so she could wash it, so I did, but then I had this huge nosebleed and had to lie down, and you were in my hammock, and she wanted to just pile us together but I said no, that would make you mad 'cause you don't like me on you, and she laughed and put me on the couch and took away my pants."

I cannot believe this kid is so naïve… how the hell… a six-year-old would be thinking of pervy crap right now! Zoro felt his cheeks heating up.

"Uh, Luffy? Did Sanji say what the test was for?"

"Huh? Oh, no, he just said do it and you'd tell me something funny. But I guess Sanji's not an expert, 'cause otherwise you would've told me by now."

"Yeah, here's something funny," said Zoro bitterly. "Happy Valentine's Day."

"But that's not funny," answered Luffy, bemused. He stood shakily and walked over to sit on the edge of the hammock Zoro was on. "Happy Valentine's Day- wait, Zo, what's Valentine's Day?"

"It's a day where if you love somebody you make sure everybody knows it, especially people who aren't loved back."

"Oh, I see, to make them feel better, 'cause if we can love each other then they can too, right, Zoro?"

"Uh… I guess…"

"Okay! Who should we show first?"

"Wait… What?"

"Well, Zo, I love you, and you love me too, right?" Zoro nodded, unable to speak. He… He just said he loved me. Holy crap. That's friggin' amazing. "So let's go show everyone and make them feel better!" Luffy tugged on Zoro's hand, and they headed upstairs, Luffy seemingly oblivious to their semi-nudity. Luffy guided Zoro over to right in front of the kitchen door, which stood partway open. He could see Sanji sitting alone at the table with a cigarette.

The captain wound his arms up around Zoro's neck and leaned up into the hollow beneath his chin. This is too good to be true. Zoro drew Luffy's head back with one hand and met him halfway as their lips came together.

Sanji's cigarette went out without warning due to a sudden nosebleed.

I hope this filled your ZoLu slash needs for now. Thanks for reading!

And yeah, the espresso ice cream probably was a bad idea…