A/N

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto blah blah blah...Kishimoto does!!!

by Jiraiya66 AKA InoSakuShine (so dont think Im stealing! This is mine all mine!!)

The Horrors of Fanfiction

In the middle of the day a sinister swirling hole broke the sky. The darkness spread like spilled milk over the unsuspecting village. Thunder roared from it's cursed depths, and flaming stars hurled out and crashed down into Konoha. Something unnatural fell from the sky. The black hole folded and caved, and as suddenly as it appeared, it was gone. The sky was at peace once again.

"Erm...Sensei, I found a weird book," Sakura smoothed over the glossy cover.
"It's trash," Kakashi sighed. This girl would do anything to avoid training, huh? But his hope of continuing the training was crushed by the devious child, because she caught the attention of his other students. Specifically, Naruto, and there was no way to recapture his attention. "What is it?" Naruto joined Sakura in gazing at it's confusing cover. He traced his index finger over the Handwritten letters. "Top Ten Fanfictions?" For a moment his stared, transfixed. Then, "Kakashi-sensei? What's fanfictions?"

Now Kakashi hovered over the thick book. "I'm not sure," he admitted. "But I've heard it before. Hm, this is what they call fanfiction?" Without warning Sakura flipped open the cover to reveal the first page. Everyone's eyes, including Sasuke's skimmed over the first "fanfiction."

A Lonely Night by SakuFan22 Rated: M w// lotz of lemon!!!!! KakaSaku!

It was really cold out and Sakura shivered. She was nervous because she was going over to his house for some unsuspected fun. When she got there a man with silver hair opened the door and...

But it didn't stop there. Somehow, they read all the way to the end of evil, evil SakuFan22's twisted fantasy. The book slid out of Sakura's hands and thudded onto the grass. They slowly backed away.
"Oh my god," Kakashi uttered, knowing he wouldn't ever look or talk to Sakura again.
"What the-" Naruto twitched, and glanced at Sakura who was covering her mouth and suffering the pain of shock.
"Ew," Sasuke put simply.
"Oh my god! That's where babies come from!" Naruto pointed one accusing finger at the wretched book.

"Hn? Where did he go"
They all knew Kakashi was fast, but they had never seen him move that fast! Before they could, if they would, grab that cursed book for their own greedy purposses, Kakashi had snatched it up and disappeared, leaving Naruto with the shivers and no comforting explanation about how babies were made. He had said something about destroying it and vanished. Sakura was relieved he was gone. She wracked her mind for some answers: Why would somebody ever write something so horrible? Something that couldn't possibly come true? Why? Why? But no one had it worse than Naruto, who Sasuke watched pathetically whimpering against a tree. He rocked back and forth, back and forth.

"B-B-But what a-about the stork?"

"A-A-And then, it said..." Sakura cried to Ino, who was sitting patiently on her bed, sucking all the delicious gossip up. Finally, she got up.
"That's some book! Fanfiction you called it?" Ino asked.
"Yeah...what, you like it? Your so sick! You perv!" Sakura glared at her. "Hey, where are you going"
"Well..." She left her answer blank, and walked out the door with troublesome plots brewing in her simple head. She turned her back on the shrieking cries of "KAKASAKU, INO! KAKASAKU!" and set off with a greedy look in her eye and a new, twisted hunger clawing at her insides.

That thing was on his dresser. He eyed it resentfully, knowing it's power. "I'll destroy you first thing tommorow," Kakashi told it, staring it straight in the cover. He was utterly exhausted, because he used up so much energy escaping his own students. As if he wasn't tired enough from the training. Before he glare at the deranged storied once more he found himself falling backwards onto his bed. He closed his eyes and fell asleep, clothes and all. However, he didn't rest easy with the dreams he had that night.

He appeared to have woken up. He was still groggy, but there was this surprising feeling deep in his stomach...or lower. Therewas a knock at the door. He picked himself up, and thrusts open the door. Sakura stood in the doorway, wearing a black lacy bra and underwear that he remembered so vividly from Icha Icha Paradise. No...it wasn't Icha Icha Paradise. It was that book of fanfiction! If only he could remember what happened next. Sakura smiled and waved something in the air. It was some small square package.

"Hey. It's vanilla this time," she giggled. Then he remembered.
"Noooooo!"

Kakashi jerked upright in his bed, sweating. "Just a dream," he assured himself. Re-establishing his "cool", he rose from bed. But he lost it again. The dangerous, omnipotent book was gone.

"What do you mean it's gone?" Sakura demanded. It was her worst nightmare to have another person lay eyes on that fanfiction.
"Well," Kakashi rubbed his head, "I seemed to have...misplaced it, or something. Your mission for today is retrieve and destroy the book." All three of his students, some looking less enthusiastic, nodded.
"I think I know where to start!" Sakura exclaimed.

As they feared the book had indeed fallen into the wrong hands. Those smooth, flower scented hands. The hands of Ino. Inside her bedroom, it was just her, and the book. Her door was shut, so know one heard her.
"So you're what they call fanfiction?" She giggled, her eyes absorbing it's glossy cover. To answer her the book opened and it's pages ruffled. "What's this? Read you?" She drew closer and her eyes widened. She coudln't believe what she was reading.

Not Alone by Yaoiluva WARNING: Pure yaoi SasuNaru!

"Ooh, what's yaoi?" She said, puzzled.

"Okay, this is going to hurt," Naruto said to Sasuke and ...

As she read on her eyes grew wider, and wider, and wider, and wider, and a pool of drool dripped from her mouth. Finally she screamed.
"I want MORE!" She roared. Without warning the door banged open and Naruto entered, huffing. "Hey, what are you ding barging in like that?" She demanded. "Hand it over!" He said, his eyes wandering to the open page.
"Curious, are you? Hey, I found a really good one. You know you want to read it..." "I don't want to read about how babies are made"
"But it's not that at all. Babies can't be made like this..."

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End of Chpater one

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