The blonde swordsman sighed as he sat on his bed. It was late, and he should go to bed…but he didn't feel exactly tired.

Cloud somehow managed to make enough money to buy his own apartment. Despite what had happened a few months ago, he felt the need to be alone. Maybe because it was his nature………or maybe it was because he couldn't admit to anyone why he was distant. Why he felt guilty about the death of a silver haired teen………

Regardless of how hard the blonde tried to let Kadaj go, he couldn't for reasons he wasn't able to explain. The beautiful youth haunted him in his thoughts, his dreams…his memories…

In this world you tried

Never leaving me alone behind

Even after the remnant's death, the blue-eyed deliveryman found himself questioning what exactly Kadaj wanted when he was brought into this world. The most obvious answer would seem that he longed for his Mother………but was it truly what he wanted? Or what Sephiroth wanted? Did he perhaps want the love that only a mother could give? Or was it simply, he wanted to be loved? Being a puppet held by strings, he lacked the ability to be himself most of the time. No one ever acknowledged him as himself; most of the time he was thought of to be Sephiroth. Only Yazoo and Loz possibly knew who he really was………but then again, they were puppets too.

Cloud never mistook him for Sephiroth…was that why the rebel was always after him? It usually ended in a fight, but even though, the blonde recalled that moment back at the Shinra ruins. Kadaj had Jenova and was pleased about finally finding her. He tried making conversation with his brother- not threatening to hurt him, or trying to kill him. It could have been for the simple fact that Cloud was the only person who would listen to him. Not because he was a leader, carrying out the orders Jenova and Sephiroth hissed in his head- but just because the swordsman would acknowledge him as him, and make the cat-eyed youth feel he did have a place in this world after all.

There's no other way
I'll pray to the gods: let him stay

No matter what his feelings were at that time, Cloud knew he'd have to rid of Kadaj and his brothers to put the world at peace again. There didn't seem a way to settle things but to fight. As the dying youth lay on his arm, looking up at him mournfully, the blonde realized he didn't want him to die. He was too young and didn't even know what life was- he wanted to save him, to care for him, no matter what it took…but Kadaj was slipping away quickly and he knew he couldn't.

The memories ease the pain inside
Now I know why

Thinking of the teen sometimes made it feel as though he wasn't so far away after all. While the memories brought him regret and sadness…they brought him peace at the same time.

All of my memories
Keep you near
In silent moments
Imagine you'd be here

There wasn't a quiet moment where the beautiful youth didn't cross Cloud's mind. He was like a bad nightmare you had a hard time forgetting. To the morose man, however, thinking of Kadaj kept him close to his heart. He probably would never see him again until he died, which wouldn't be for quite awhile. But he was willing to wait- the only reason he probably didn't give up on life was because of Tifa and the kids. They were the most important to him and always would be.

All of my memories
Keep you near
The silent whispers, silent tears

He would lay on his bed sometimes, just reminiscing over everything that happened that short awhile ago. The blonde would fall asleep sometimes and not even realize it. There were times he swore he heard the youth's voice whispering in his head, things he wasn't able to comprehend. He even thought a few times he heard that voice right next to his ear, but awoke to see nothing but the bright moonlight that streamed through his window. Figuring it was a dream, he'd turn over and go back to sleep, but there were a few spare moments where Cloud felt tears in his eyes.

Made me promise I'd try

To find my way back in this life

He told himself it was better that Kadaj died and went off to the Lifestream. He would find peace there, and live his afterlife happily. He wasn't meant to stay in this world, or else Aeris wouldn't have taken him. Thinking this helped the quiet man maintain his life and live comfortably…for the most part.

I hope there is a way
To give me a sign you're okay

Cloud wasn't able to connect with the Lifestream since Kadaj died, but something told him Aeris was probably taking care of him. Hopefully she was giving him the love that he was unable to give to the remnant himself.

Reminds me again
It's worth it all
So I can go home

Then again, Aeris would probably do a pretty good job of being the mother Kadaj longed for. She was naturally sweet and kind, and didn't seem to mind adopting full-grown children. Cloud wasn't exactly sure he would have had the time to care for the teen. However things were going in the Lifestream, they seemed fine since he hadn't had any contact from the flower girl.

Sighing, he threw himself back onto his bed, closing his eyes, as though trying to shut the world out. He opened them again and gasped lightly.

He was lying in a field of flowers, and everything else around him was white. What was he doing in the Lifestream so suddenly? He sat up and looked around curiously. Was this a dream perhaps? But he couldn't have fallen asleep that quickly…

A voice interrupted his thoughts and nearly made his heart stop.

"Niisan?"

Cloud spun around and he wanted to pinch himself, to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

There was Kadaj, nearly unrecognizable in a pair of jeans and a long sleeved white shirt. He wore a loose green T-shirt on top of that, and a pair of black sneakers. But it wasn't just his clothes that made him different- his eyes shone with happiness and he was smiling. He was always beautiful, but now it seemed even more evident.

"Is it really you?"

The blonde found control of himself again and stood up, surprised to see he was smiling at the teen.

"Yeah…"

Pearly white teeth flashed as the angelic teen grinned before rushing into the swordsman's arms, hugging him tightly. Cloud held Kadaj close to him as well, almost not daring to believe he was here with him.

"I've missed you. I tried to contact you before, but Mother said I should wait. That I should wait for you to settle down first."

Blue mako eyes twinkled as Cloud chuckled, pulling back slightly to look at the former puppet.

"Did she now?"

"Yeah…so finally today she let me."

"So you triggered this?"

Kadaj nodded, still smiling.

"I wanted to see you again…even if it was for a little while."

The spiky-haired solider gently caressed the teen's face almost absently as he looked into his cat-like eyes. They were such a beautiful mixture of green and blue that it was hard to tear away from them.

"I've missed you too."

The youth smiled again, and Cloud noted how much it brightened his face. He was so close…

Without thought, he gently lifted the teens' head and leaned down to kiss him softly. Kadaj's eyes widened in surprise from such an intimate gesture, but it felt nice, so he closed his eyes and gently kissed his niisan back. They stayed like this for a moment, sharing slow gentle kisses, until the silver-haired youth embraced Cloud too tightly, causing him to fall backward. Kadaj landed softly on top of him, giggling a bit.

"Sorry, Niisan."

"It's okay."

A part of the swordsman felt fulfilled, after being empty for months. He smiled at the teen, playfully running his fingers through the silky silver strands.

"Kadaj……I love you."

It took saying this out loud for Cloud to realize he really did love the teen. Even if he barely knew him, his feelings were undeniable.

The remnant smiled again, only a bit wider.

"I love you too, Niisan. But you can't stay yet. You'll see me again one day. I promise."

Kadaj leaned down to kiss the blonde for the last time before pulling himself up. He looked a bit mournful, but the smile stayed on his face.

"Goodbye, Niisan."

The Lifestream faded away, Kadaj along with it, and Cloud found himself on his bed in the same position. He sat up, but surprisingly, didn't feel sad. He felt content.

Together in all these memories
I see your smile
All the memories I hold dear
Darling you know I love you till the end of time

Now that he knew Kadaj was okay…….he'd be okay too.