Author's note: This was supposed to be a one-shot, but somehow, it became so long that I had to split it into 2 chapters. Please read on and I hope you enjoy it…

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed or Gundam Seed Destiny and the characters...

Where can I find you again...

It has been 6 years since the war but deep within, my heart bleeds. It bleeds like how it never has before, not even during the war…

The room was silent and serene. A gentle and sweet scent of roses drifted through the air, drawing my attention to the bunch of red roses in the glass vase by his bed. It wasn't there before. It dawned on me that they had been here before me.

They were equally concerned as I was…

I shifted my gaze to the midnight-haired coordinator lying on the white bed, swathed in soft white blankets. My battered heart was at ease. He had survived another painful day.

Slowly, I approached the chair lying by his bed and sat down quietly. He didn't stir, didn't move. He was usually like that when I visited, still and unnerved.

There was no difference in him, except for the oxygen mask. He must have had difficulty breathing again... How could I not have been there when he needed the comfort…?

"Hi Athrun…" I murmured, bending close to look at his face. He lay there, not replying, not showing me the slightest hint that he was listening. I studied his soft features. Behind them, he hid his pain. He never showed me how much he hurt, always covering the pain with his gentle features, that reassuring smile of his, those lovely emerald orbs… I moved my hand up to his soft blue hair to caress him, running my hand over his hair as I smoothed back his fringe and down to his cheek.

The tears that I had held back started to overwhelm me and I drew back hurriedly, closing my eyes, trying to swallow my tears. A single pearl rolled down my cheek and I lost as pearl after pearl followed.

He had been lying on this very bed for more than a year as illness pleasured in tormenting him. I saw it took its toll on him. When he was first found clutched in its grasp, he was merely weak and tired easily. But now, as time rolled by, he was confined to the bed, had difficulties in breathing and lived constantly in the thought of leaving his loved ones and the world behind.

I opened my eyes as a soft, hardly audible gasp caught my attention. He was awake, his beautiful pools of emerald fixed on me. Hurriedly, I wiped away the traces of my tears with the back of my hand. He hated to see me cry...

Smiling weakly, I turned back to look at him. His lips parted slightly as he strained to make his words heard.

I moved closer. "I'm here, Athrun… What do you want to tell me?" I whispered. He gasped softly and muttered a faint "Cagalli…"

I smiled at his attempt to speak.

"Did you… co-come to see… me?"

"Yes. I missed you…"

He reached up strenuously to his oxygen mask and tried to pull it down so he could make himself heard more audibly. But I stopped him... As much as I wanted to hear his voice, telling me it was alright, telling me this was just a nightmare and I would wake up soon… but he depended on it now, he needed the oxygen mask… to live, to live for another long, agonizing day…

I clasped his hand. It felt chilly, icy, heart-numbing cold… He smiled slightly and closed his eyes. Then, opened his sweet emerald orbs again...

"How… is… O-Orb?" He smiled gently.

"Good…" I replied, "Everything's at peace. You know that with me, Princess of Orb here, and Lacus, Chairwoman of PLANT taking care of everything, how could another war break out?"

Relief swept over his face. He always asked me that question and it always pleased him to know that Orb and PLANTS were on their good terms.

"Our children are very obedient…" I added, forcing a grin, "Do you know that they have promised to visit you tomorrow? They're busy today. Murrue had them help her in the on-coming school party. It's nice to know that Murrue decided to take up teaching and is their teacher… Our sweet daughter said she would bring you a surprise present tomorrow, and our lovely son agreed to show you his picture of us as a family. He drew it himself and everyone commented that he has the talent for drawing. Murrue and Mu said they would approach some of their friends who specialized in teaching art to teach him more…"

A smile curled at his lips.

I smoothed back his silky midnight blue hair. I hated to see him look so vulnerable and weak.

A sharp gasp made me gaze down at him with concern but as fast as it came, it disappeared as he covered his pain with a smile. Still, I could see his agony, his suffering, his torture… I said nothing about it. He didn't like me to realize his pain…

We talked some more, mostly me doing the talking. Throughout our conversation, he hid his predicament with smiles. But I could see him struggling…

Then, it happened so sudden. He started to gasp, struggling to breathe. His eyes were closed and his face pale. His hand clutched weakly at his oxygen mask, the other clawing desperately at the blanket.

"Athrun! Athrun! Are you alright? Athrun!" I shot up from the chair and grasped his hand. Chokes emitted from him. "Athrun!" I cried.

Dashing to the door, I flung it open and screamed down the hallway. "Doctor Abigail! Help! Someone, please help! My husband… Doctor Abigail! Nurse! Please, somebody!"

The door of a ward was flung open and a brunette glanced out. When she saw me, she grabbed 2 nurses and dashed towards me. "Doctor! My husband… Doctor!" I shrieked, pointing at Athrun who was writhing on the bed in pain, struggling to breathe.

She hardly took a glance at him, she knew what was happening. It was so common nowadays, everyone in the hospital knew. They knew things that I chose not to believe, they knew things like he was leaving, knew things like he would never recover…

"Wheel him to the emergency room!" She ordered the nurses. I felt myself screaming deep within. How could this happen?

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I was running alongside the bed, racing past the white walls of the hospital. I didn't know where I was heading. Hot tears blinded me, streaking down my cheeks. "You'll be alright, Athrun… Everything will be fine…" I tried to reassure him. My voice was shaking; it couldn't be any reassuring at all.

Hands grabbed me as we approached the sterile area of the emergency room. I wouldn't let go of him, I couldn't let go of his hand. He didn't want to as well; his grip was weak but persistent. "Representative Athha, please let go… He'll be alright… Miss Cagalli…" The nurses tried to pull our hands apart. I screamed, wailed, shrieked… but sobbed helplessly when we broke apart and the nurses pushed his bed into the emergency room. He was wheeled farther and farther… farther and farther away… fading from my sight, his hand outstretched as he tried to reach me…

My hands were shaking so hard that I could hardly punch in the numbers in my hand-phone. As it rang, I pressed it into my ear, waiting to hear the familiar voice.

"Hello? Kira speaking…"

I broke down when I heard that voice. I couldn't speak.

"Hello?"

"Kira… Kira… Athrun's… Athrun, he… Athrun…" I sobbed, sliding down to the ground.

"Cagalli? Is that you? What happened to Athrun? Are you at the hospital? Stay there! Don't go! Stay there! I'm coming…"

There was a click and I dropped the phone on the ground, sliding against the wall, weak from sobbing.