Ok, this is my first attempt at a Ryan/Eric fic. Please be kind.

Summary: Spoilers for "Man Down" Kinda takes an AU feel to it. Ryan goes to visit Eric after the case is closed.

Warnings: Spoilers for man down, slash

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. And, while I have not seen any other stories like this, this is my take on the idea; any resemblance to other stories is sheer coincidence.

'thoughts' "talking" ----------------: scene change

-------------'The day was not supposed to end like this' Ryan thought tiredly as he rubbed the back of his neck. The security guard that had shot Eric was being led away in handcuffs as he finally sat down in the chair next to Calleigh, who looked just as exhausted as he felt.

"That should not have ended like that," she murmured. "This whole situation is just wrong!" She emphasized this fact by hitting the table with her fist.

"Yeah" he agreed softly, anger now gone from him. "He tried to kill Eric because he wanted to pay off his car. How twisted is that?" Calleigh let out a quiet sigh.

"I just wish it was the worst thing I had ever heard." Ryan agreed with a small nod.

"I'm just happy that he's going to be okay." There was a somewhat tense silence for a few moments before Calleigh spoke up again.

"Ryan…I don't know if you realized it, but you kept calling Eric your partner during the interrogation" The younger CSI looked at her, slightly confused.

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, I didn't think you two were that close." The blonde noticed a hint of panic enter Ryan's hazel eyes.

"Uh….well…Calleigh, we've been getting along better" he stammered. "Gone out for a few beers, stuff like that."

"Uh huh" she replied, a grin creeping onto her face. "I have noticed that you two have been getting along better." She noticed now that his breathing had increased and that his hands that had been resting on the table were starting to shake slightly. Finally, she had decided that he had sweated enough. "Ryan, it's okay. I know" Calleigh said softly, placing one hand on top of his shaking ones. "I've known for awhile." He offered her a small smile.

"How?"

"Well, Eric isn't exactly subtle when he wants someone. When he finally looked happy and satisfied, I put 2 and 2 together" she explained, offering him a smile in reply. "Plus, you can practically see the jealousy rolling off him when someone flirts with you." He managed a quiet laugh before letting his head fall forward slightly.

"Does anyone else know?" The blonde CSI shook her head.

"Unless you two told anyone else, no one else knows."

"Ok, you and Alexx then" Ryan replied, taking in Calleigh's raised eyebrow. "What? You can't hide anything from that woman! And in my defense, she managed to get it out of Eric and not me." She let out a gentle laugh.

"You're got a point there Ryan. Have you been to see Eric?" The brunet shook his head.

"Not since the first time when we all saw him. I know he woke up and talked to you but then we got really wrapped up in the case. Did he say much?" Calleigh gently chewed on her lower lip trying to think how to approach this.

"He…he doesn't seem the same Ryan" she replied honestly, the worry leaking into her eyes. "And he didn't remember Marisol died. But he wasn't the Eric we know." 'And the Eric you love' she added silently. Inwardly, his hope that everything would be okay sank drastically.

"I…was planning on staying the night there," he admitted quietly after a few moments of somber silence. "Maybe…he was just really disoriented from all the drugs they've pumped into him." Calleigh offered a one-shoulder shrug.

"I hope so Ryan…but Alexx told me that amnesia is common with head injuries but there's no telling just how much he's forgotten or maybe just bits and pieces." Nodding, Ryan stood up and stuffed his hands in his pockets, Calleigh doing the same.

"I should get going. I'll be able to use my badge to get in there past visiting hours," Ryan explained in a soft voice, keeping his eyes on the ground. "I just hope that I get to talk to him for a few minutes…"

"If you remember, tell him that we all miss him." Calleigh paused for a moment. "And Ryan, if you need me to cover for you tomorrow, I can." This time, the small smile he managed was somewhat genuine.

"Thanks Calleigh. I owe you one."

--------------------After skillfully avoiding Horatio and then Eric's parents, Ryan finally managed to get into Eric's room undetected. He winced visibly at the sight of the bandage wrapped around his lover's head. This wasn't Eric, not this person lying there in the bed looking half dead. No, his lover was always moving, full of energy with life in his dark brown eyes and that sexy half smile he had used to charm Ryan in the beginning of their relationship. Moving quietly, he sat down in one of the empty chairs and gently took Eric's limp hands into one of his.

"Hey" he whispered, not wanting to wake the other CSI up from his much needed rest. "I've…missed you today." He brought the hand up closer to him and placed a gentle kiss on it. "I'm still holding you to that breakfast in bed that you promised this morning…You'd better not forget." Eric shifted slightly as though he was starting to wake up. Ryan placed his lover's hand back on the bed. "Calleigh's figured us out. I'm sorry…I swear I didn't say anything, but then again, you were the one always saying that we should tell people so I don't think you'd have a problem about it but I just wanted you to know." He took a deep breath and let out a sad laugh. "And I'm rambling again. I'm sorry Eric, so sorry. We've caught the guy; he's going to jail, if not getting the death penalty. I'm not sure how much of this you're actually hearing but we all miss you…you'd better get well fast so you can come home….the bed is going to seem to big and cold without you."

Ryan let out another sigh. "Again, I don't think you can hear me but it just makes me feel better being able to talk to you, makes me feel like you're more alive, like everything is back to normal and we're just sitting on the couch after work arguing over what movie to watch. Or you trying to convince me that no, the bathroom does not need cleaning again. I just wanted to know that…I really miss you." He looked away for a few seconds, blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay that had built up from the time he had heard Eric had been shot. When he looked back, he was shocked to see a pair of tired brown eyes looking back at him. "Eric?" He blinked once, looking confused.

"Yeah…" he said in a rough voice. "And you…?" This comment caused Ryan to sit up straighter, his heart starting to beat a little faster as he felt panic settling into his mind again. This…this couldn't be happening. He couldn't handle this now on top of everything else.

"Don't you remember me?" he asked, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. He cleared his throat slightly, dreading the answer.

"No…not really" Eric murmured sleepily, turning his head the slightest bit towards Ryan. "I…your name is Ryan…I've seen you at a few of our scenes." At this comment, Ryan could swear that his heart dropped to the floor and shattered into a thousand pieces. Eric didn't remember their relationship. Eric barely remembered him, let alone the fact that they had been together for over a year.

"Yeah" he said, trying to offer a brave smile. "Except now I'm a CSI." Eric blinked once before seeming to accept this answer and drifted back to sleep.

Ryan stifled a sob of agony as he let his head drop forward, causing a lone tear to escape from his hazel eyes. When his heart broke, it triggered something else in his brain. His thoughts were now telling him that he could not force this relationship on Eric. No, he would pretend that it had never existed no matter how much it hurt. Tonight, he would go and remove all evidence of his presence from Eric's apartment. Every photo, every piece of clothing, every sign that he had been practically living there for the past few months. Since Eric could no longer remember what had been between them, Ryan would forget to remember as well

Standing up, he placed a final soft kiss on Eric's forehead before angrily wiping away a few more tears that had fallen before turning away from his once lover and left the room.

TBC

a/n: While this could easily be left as a one-shot, I haven't decided whether to continue it or not. Depends on feedback I guess. Thanks for reading!